Charlotte

Charlotte

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Yoga Hosers - horror movie realness day one

YOGA HOSERS 2016


 "The good news is...we're Canadian satanists"

Colleen and Colleen are two teenage best friends who live in Manitoba. They work as clerks in the Eh-2-Zed store and study yoga under Yogi Bayer. After getting invited to a party by two seniors, the girls are devastated to find out they have to work instead.

The boys bring the party to the store where the Colleen's work but turns out they're actually satanists who need to murder a virgin. While Colleen is getting attacked, a one foot tall Nazi made out of bratwurst attacks the senior and kills him. Now the Colleens are defending their store from an army of Bratzi's only to get arrested by the cops. The RCMP believe the girls murdered the seniors, choosing to ignore their real story.

Guy LaPointe arrives and breaks the girls out of jail and the three of them attempt to find proof of the Bratzis.

But what is buried underneath the Eh-2-Zed? And is there any truth to the rumors about the Nazi Andronicus Arcane who disappeared in the 40's?


Alright...what did I love about this movie?
  • The cast is amazing - Adam Brody, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Tony Hale, and Natasha Lyonne.
  • The two Colleens are adorable.
  • Guy LaPointe wasn't as unbearable as I thought he would be.
  • Canadiancorpses.com 
  • The different yoga poses are hilarious.


What didn't I love?
  • There were a lot more musical numbers than I counted on.
  • The Bratzi's were super annoying and not in a fun way.
 Overall?

Alright, look....ya'll know I'm a massive Kevin Smith fan. But I will admit that this movie is nonsense. It's a fever dream. BUT...as a Kevin Smith fan, it was a fun love letter to Smodcast fans. There were so many little easter eggs and jokes that had me cackling. Also Shecky!!!!!!!

Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp are wonderful and I'm so incredibly proud of them. They really nailed their roles and you could feel how much fun they were having.


If I was a teenage girl again I know without a doubt I would love this movie immensely. And I think that's all that matters. Kevin Smith wrote this movie for teenage girls, he wanted them to have two hilarious female Canadian heroes. So really he did exactly what he was setting out to do.

It's goofy, it's over the top, it's cringey but I still enjoyed it.

6/10


Alright, I just want to take a moment to talk about Carrie Fisher who we lost today. It is absolutely devastating and my heart is shattered. Last week she suffered a massive heart attack on a plane home from England. She began to recover but today she didn't make it. She leaves a massive wake behind her and my thoughts go out to her daughter and the rest of her family, to all her many friends, and to Gary.

She made her Broadway debut as a young girl alongside her mother in Irene and made her big screen debut in 1975 in Shampoo. At the age of 19 she landed the iconic role of Princess Leia. She also starred in The Blues Brothers, When Harry Met Sally and The 'Burbs - just to name a few.

Carrie has always been open about her struggles with mental illness and addiction and never shied away from telling the nasty truth. She wrote a one-woman play and memoir called Wishful Drinking that spoke about her addiction. She's gone on to write four novels and helped edit many many scripts throughout her long career.

When I was a young girl, Princess Leia taught me that girls can be heroes too. And when I got older, Carrie Fisher taught me to wear my scars proudly and never back down.


You were a whirlwind Carrie and I love you deeply. Rest in peace. 



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