Charlotte

Charlotte

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Blair Witch - horror movie realness day three

BLAIR WITCH 2016


"The guy who uploaded this video said it was from a tape he found in the Black Hills woods. I think that might be my sister."

James Donahue, the brother of Heather who went missing years ago with two friends in the Black Hills forest has new evidence about his sister. A video has appeared online depicting what appears to be Heather. James tracks down the person who found the video and they agree to meet in Burkittsville. James takes his three friends with him - Peter and Ashley and Lisa, who is filming the whole thing for a documentary about James and his missing sister.

They come prepared with GPS, a drone, and walkie talkies. They meet with locals Talia and Lane who found the original video and set out into the woods. On their first night in the woods they wake up to mysterious noises. The next morning they find the iconic stick figures hanging from the trees but soon figure out that Talia and Lane placed them there.

But why is time going so strangely? And why does the sun never seem to rise? And now the GPS isn't working so perhaps it isn't a hoax by the locals at all....


Alright...what did I love about this film?
  • I was happy to see a smart group of kids who were well prepared for a night in the wilderness. 
  • It was fun to see all the callbacks from the original and see how this film parallels the original.
  • I like the premise.
  • There were some jumpy moments and the found footage element wasn't too bad until the end.
What didn't I love?
  • ....just read the overall.
Overall

Look...I was rooting for this film. I adore the director (You're Next and The Guest) and listening to him interview and podcast and reading about this film I was fully on board.

BUT.....I didn't love it.


I liked the first half, it felt like a nice sequel to the original but once it ramped up I lost interest and just got annoyed. Basically this movie relies on the fact that the witch can warp time. She can make it night time forever and when Lane and Talia run off they actually disappear for five days whereas for the rest of the group it's only been a few hours. When they find Rustin Parr's house they find it in a spot they've already been too, but it wasn't there before.

Okay...but this just feels confusing and dumb. Because it really just relies on so many possibilities. For example...if the witch can warp time, it's entirely possible that these kids are in the house at the same time as Heather and her guys. When James is outside the house, he hears Heather and runs inside and in fact sees her at one point. So sure, okay, they're all there at the same time because of some magical witch that controls time and space. The video that is discovered by Lane and starts this whole thing off is actually Lisa in the house running from the strange creature. Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones pulled this kind of trick off incredibly well and it blew my fucking mind. This feels like a sad copy cat of that to try and force more sequels to be made.


And let's talk about that creature. According to the writer Simon Barrett the witch isn't shown in this movie. So what is the creature chasing Lisa? Is it Heather? Is it Elly Kedward? Who fucking knows and frankly I don't care. The creature looks like every other creature nowadays. It's a mix of slender man, the ghost from Mama and the monsters from Descent. Not original in any way shape or form.

Ugh, what a shame.

I tried to be non judgemental and go in with low expectations to be proven wrong but I was let down. All it felt like was someone taking what was great about the original and then trying to one up it. But what makes the original so wonderful is that it is just a very basic, no fuss movie with an open ending. There's no weird creatures, there's no on screen violence. It's you and your imagination running wild. And it also worked because it was the first (well, second) of its kind and nothing will ever be able to do that again because they already did it.

I'm also in a foul mood because Debbie Reynolds passed away today and I'm fucking devastated.

I will most likely give this movie another shot and I'll think about the time warp possibilities and try and get excited about it. But for now...

6/10



Stay Spooky!



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