Hangman is a boring piece of garbage

Great news! Me and Mitch and the dogs have found somewhere to live! We move in April 1st so bare with me during the next three weeks while I purge anarchy my belongings, pack, move, and then unpack.

But! Tonight I found time to watch a movie I was excited for and it turned out to be a boring piece of garbage....let's talk about it!!

Hangman (2015)

The premise of this film intrigued me because I am absolutely terrified of home invasions. I thought it would be great like The Purge or The Strangers, or literally any other horror movie ever. Nope. It was terrible.

A family goes on vacation, and while on vacation a man breaks into their home and moves into their attic. He inserts cameras all over the house and fucks with everything. The family comes home and freaks out because they believe they've been broken into. Then the creeper monitors the family for weeks (or months idek) and comes out of his hidey hole to stalk the younger daughter as she goes on dates, to loom over the beds while they all sleep, and to spit in the orange juice container (??????).

The movie itself is boring. Like incredibly boring. You're just watching grainy footage of a family go about their day. The daughter fails math, the son has nightmares, and the couple have sex. Riveting. Even when the creep factor "ramps up" it's SO BORING. No jump scares, no violence, no creepy moments. Just boring, overused, horror tropes.

There's no clear story as to why this creep is invading their home. I mean, I got what they were trying to say, but it was murky and poorly written.

And there's so many damn plot holes!! Like how can you hear the people speaking inside their car when the camera is across the street? Has he secretly put mics on these people? At one point he steals an entire giant vase of flowers. The mother notices and then is over it immediately. If I noticed something in my house missing I would lose my damn mind. I lose my ipod and I'm convinced there's an intruder (turned out it had fallen down the heating vent). And how is no one noticing him? He's living in the attic and you can't hear that? He's moving around your bedroom at night and you can't hear that??!???! 

Bleh. This movie sucked. Don't watch it. I'm offended by how bad it is. I should've just watched Captain America Winter Solider for the 10000th.

0/10

I'm sad about how bad this movie is.

Stay spooky!

Poltergeist the remake and how I actually kind of loved it?

POLTERGEIST (the remake)

Alright, I hate remakes. You know this. I complain all the time about this. I don't see the point in funneling money into remakes when we could be supporting new and original horror. So when I finally got around to watching the remake of Poltergeist, I did it with crossed arms and a sour look on my face. But within 5 minutes my face cracked into a reluctant smile and DAMNIT I was laughing at the dialogue and enjoying myself.

So let's get into it.

Poltergeist originally came out in 1982 and was directed by Tobe Hooper and co-written by Steven Spielberg. It ended up becoming a trilogy. The original was a classic horror film with an absolutely amazing cast, and some pretty fantastic ideas for the time.

Last year Gil Kenan directed the remake and put Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt in the lead role of the couple. Jared Harris played the eccentric ghost hunter alongside Jane Adams as his partner in crime.

Now as much as I hate to admit this, I enjoyed the new cast more. I love Sam Rockwell and him and DeWitt brought some amazing comedic wit. Making Jared Harris a TV ghost hunter was a great modernization. And Jane Adams, though quiet, brought a great partnership.

The scares were minimal in this film for me personally, but I could see it scaring the average viewer quite a bit. I found the iconic clown scene actually much more frightening in the remake. The fact that there were multiple clown dolls just lurking around and scaring the shit out of me. Not cool. But awesome. Also the "other dimension" was super creepy in the remake. All those creepy dead bodies writhing around. Gross. Do not want to go to there. But I liked it a lot. 

The gore was minimal in this movie compared to the original. So....there's one thing against it. The story was different of course, but the premise was the same. They modernized the haunting, making the poltergeist effect cell phones and flat screen TV's etc etc. There was also a drone which I didn't love. But I don't love drones in general so this was never going to be a win for me. The tree scene was less creepy in the remake. But they managed to keep all the iconic scenes in the remake, just with some modernizations and a few adjustments.

I liked the kids a lot more in the original. The teenage girl in the remake was too hysterical and mean to her parents for my liking. Like, gurl, your Dad has no job and bought you a new iPhone yet you're still sassing him? Get a job yourself, damn. Although I did like the young son because he was a nervous wreck and I felt that on a personal level.

So, I was preparing to tear this movie apart and call it a piece of crap and have it prove my point but instead I had a really great time watching it and I will totally watch it again.

WHO AM I

I'm giving it an 8/10. Don't yell at me.

Stay spooky!

UNBOXING FEBRUARY'S HORROR BLOCK

February Horror Block is here! Let's unpack it!!

(this will be my last one for a few months while I'm on a very strict budget for moving)

This was a so-so month, only because I don't drink and I can't eat eggs haha so none of these actually work for me.

A wine stopper shaped like a zombie finger...so hilarious. I'm so sneaking this into Mitch's wine so he gets scared when he goes for another glass.

A zombie bottle opener. As I said, I don't drink, and Mitch has got like 50 bottle openers. But I love  how creepy it looks so I've put it on display with my horror figures.

A SUPER AMAZING deck of cards with all our horror favorites. The one in the middle of the second photo is Carrie. Sorry for the lens flare. Had a JJ moment.

A zombie egg cup, shovel to eat it with, and some cut outs that you use to cut your toast into fun and violent shapes!

A Daryl Dixon shirt. Even though I don't watch The Walking Dead anymore (I stuck with the comics), I do love the first four seasons so I'm thrilled to have this.

As always, the latest edition of Rue Morgue. 

So yeah, even though horror block is super affordable (costs me about $30 a month) and so much fun to have show up and surprise you every month at work....unfortunately I can't justify that $30 every month. But a great thing about horror block is you don't have to actually cancel your subscription, you can just postpone it for 1 or 3 or 6 months. I chose 3 months. But I'm secretly hoping we'll find a place soon and then I can get my horror blocks again haha

As always, I'm not affiliated in any way to horror block, just a massive fan. 

Stay spooky ya'll!!