In space no one can hear you scream.

HAPPY ALIEN DAY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right, for the first time ever, 4/26 has been claimed as Alien day. As in, 1979 Ridley Scott Alien. That's right horror nerds...we've got a whole new day to celebrate every year.

In case you've lived under a rock for the past what...30 something years? (I don't math). Alien is a terrifying and phenomenal film that changed big budget alien films forever. Directed by Ridley Scott, it stars Sigourney Weaver as possibly the most bad ass final girl EVER, Ripley. Along with an amazing cast like Tom Skerritt, John Hurt and Veronica Cartwright, Alien takes you on a believable and horrifying journey into space. The story was written by Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett and was produced through Brandywine Productions. The alien itself was designed by Swiss artist H.R. Giger and with the help of concept artists Ron Cobb and Chris Foss, the film is filled with fascinating and gorgeous costumes and scenery.

Alien was just the start of what is now a massive on-going franchise. BUT today we are just talking about where it all started.

SPOILERS IF YOU'RE AN INSANE PERSON WHO HAS NEVER SEEN THIS MOVIE (seriously...if you've never seen it...what better day than today to go watch it?!)

The story revolves around the spacecraft Nostromo who is returning to Earth with a 7 person crew but after detecting a mysterious transmission from a nearby planetoid, the ship (MOTHER) awakens the crew from their space slumber. The crew lands their ship on the planetoid and sets out to discover where the signal is coming from. What they find is an abandoned alien spacecraft and inside are the remains of a massive alien creature.

Ripley, who is perfect and amazing, realizes the transmission is actually a warning while Kane discovers hundreds of eggs on the spacecraft. While letting curiosity get the better of him, Kane is attacked by a creature that bursts out of the egg and attaches itself to his face (yeyyy face hugger!). The rest of the team carry Kane back to the ship but Ripley, who is so incredibly smart and beautiful, refuses them entry but unfortunately Ash gets past her.

The creature can't be removed from Kane's face but eventually it's like whatever, I'm over this, and lets go and crawls away to die in a corner.

The Nostromo crew take off while Kane awakens, seemingly healthy at this point, and so they all enjoy their last meal before going back into space sleep and continuing back to Earth. But while eating, an alien bursts out of Kane's chest and escapes. People start dying one by one as the crew fights to contain the creature and save the cat (Jones...just go with it).

After the captain, Dallas, is killed, Ripley (precious sunflower) is in charge and discovers that Ash (the science officer) was told to return the alien to the crew's employers, regardless of who dies. Then shit gets REAL, Ripley (goddess of the sun) confronts Ash, who then attacks her, and after getting his head chopped turns out HE'S AN ANDROID!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!!!!!!! After interrogating the android they realize THIS WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG!!!!!!!! Mind blown!...no offense Ash.

Ripley (wonderful tropical fish and all around joy), Lambert, and Parker decide as the remaining members of the crew they shall escape in the shuttle and self-destruct the Nostromo. But alas, the alien stops that plan real quick and so Ripley (all around badass) and her cat set the self-destruct sequence and escape during a terrifying and nail biting scene where the alien is just all up in her business.

Everything is great! Except it's not. As Ripley (perfect snowflake) gets herself settled for a final space sleep she realizes the damn alien is on HER SHUTTLE! So she throws on a spacesuit and using science stuff, forces the alien out of the shuttle. Finally she can get her space sleep and head back home to Earth.

END OF SPOILERS

Boy, what a thrill ride.

What started out as a film titled Memory, then Star Beast, and finally just Alien, this story is one heck of an original idea. And one that many movies to this day try to replicate. And you know what else I love? When the script was pitched to the studio, it was pitched as Jaws in Space which is a movie I can get behind.

Filmed over fourteen weeks, Alien was a triumph of a film. But production time was cut short due to the low budget and pressure from the studio to finish on time. The crew was over 200 and they constructed the three main sets. Les Dilley was the art director. To create the realistic scenes, tones of sand, rock, gravel etc was moved into the studio. The filming was brutal for the actors as they had to wear these massive space suits which had no cooling systems. During heat waves they would often pass out and oxygen tanks were never too far way.

To film the famous chestburster scene, now iconic in film history, the cast was not told that along with the fake creature bursting out of a fake torso, there would also be a huge spray of fake blood. The scene was shot in just one take using the fake torso with Hurt's real arms and head coming up from beneath the table. When the creature breaks through the fake chest, so came the big stream of blood scaring the crap out of all the actors. Every reaction you see is honest. Cartwright was so scared she went into hysterics.

For a lot of the film, the now iconic alien was portrayed by Bolaji Badejo wearing a latex costume. He was 6 foot and 10 inches tall. While you never really see the full alien in the film, this was done on purpose by Scott. He felt that by never giving us the full image, it would be more terrifying as it would allow the viewer's imagination to go wild.

The special effects in Alien won them an Academy Award that same year along with various other prestigious awards.

Alien holds up to this day and will continue to hold up for another 30 years. The story, the cast, the effects....it is all perfection. It's no surprise that basically any "top 100 movies ever" list has Alien in there somewhere, and why people like me lose their shit on April 26th and watch the movie over and over.

So why 4/26 you ask? Well, LV-426 was the planetoid where this whole story starts.

Alien is great. Hands down. Go watch it. If you've never seen it, go watch it. If you've seen it 1000 times, go watch it. Just watch Alien.

Stay spooky! (and stay out of the damn air filters!)

Black Christmas and I watch the wrong movie again

So once again I downloaded the wrong movie haha but to make up for all this downloading I used the last of gift certificate and ordered like 20 horror movies on amazon. Including the original Hills Have Eyes!
Anyway, next on the random lists on my phone of horror movies to watch was Black Christmas, the original from 1974. Ended up with the remake. BUT it was a tone of fun.

Let's talk about it!

BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)

And fucking Santa Claus? This fat voyeur that watches you all year long to make sure you live up to his standards of decency before breaking into your house.

 

Black Christmas, aka Black X-Mas to relate to the early 2000 audience (we were pretty hip back then), was written and directed by Glen Morgan (who also helped bring us the Final Destination franchise). The film has a great, basically all, female cast including some of the 2000 greats like Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Katie Cassidy. Andrea Martin plays the house mother in this film and she was also in the original which is a nice little nod.

Black X-Mas is a pretty loose remake apparently, and in this story it follows Billy, a psychopath who after years of abuse murdered his whole family (except his sister - he only took her eye) and ate parts of them. 15 years later he escapes from the asylum on Christmas Eve and returns to his family home, which is now a sorority house. The house knows about the past and every year they leave a gift for Billy under the tree - but they never expect him to actually show up.

Billy is loosely based on Edmond Kemper, the serial killer who had a fucked up relationship with his mom and attacked a sorority house killing some of the girls.

The film is a typical 2000 slasher. There's a bunch of sub story lines that make no sense, and go nowhere. There's a lot of unanswered questions....like how did Billy's sister know to meet him at the house? And how did she even get there? And why are there so many holes in floors and walls? And how did no one hear Billy setting up a damn christmas tree in the attic?
It's a tone of fun to watch with terrible dialogue and a tone of plot holes but you still have an amazing time. I will definitely be watching this every year on Christmas Eve because how could I not?


My only major complaint with it is the ending dragged on for waaaay too long. They could've cut down at least 20 minutes and I would've been happy. It didn't ruin it or anything but I found myself checking my phone a lot near the end. Although now that I'm thinking about it I think I watched the extended cut which makes a lot of sense.



9/10

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Anyway, it was a fun way to end my weekend before my week of hell. I'll see you on the other side!


Stay spooky!

The Uninvited and too many ramblings

Sooooo my original plan was to watch The Hills Have Eyes from 1977. I downloaded it and got about 10 minutes in before I realized that not only was it not The Hills Have Eyes from 1977, it was the sequel to the remake. I was watching The Hills Have Eyes 2 Where'd Ya Get Those Peepers?

(Also I know I preach a hard game of supporting horror movies and spending the money but in my defense I am FLAT broke from the move sooooo....don't download movies kids, it's illegal, and you might end up watching awful sequels to remakes.)

I actually did sit through the whole thing and Mitch joined me for the last half. It was awful. But I felt like I'd already dedicated time to it so I might as well finish it. It was awful. GARBAGE. So many plot holes, so many bad character decisions, so many stereotypes.

Ohhhh boy it was bad.

I've had a productive weekend so far - aka watched a lot of horror movies, played Until Dawn again (see my review here) and pre-ordered Batman V Superman on DVD with my amazon gift card (thanks Aunt Sam!). And if you want to send hate my way for loving the shit out of BVS please direct your hate mail to my best friend Ben Affleck's bank account. 

Oh, also....ya'll should be watching Deadly Possessions, Zak Bagans new show. It's so awesome! He has opened a museum in Vegas that houses his collection of haunted items and has people bring him their own haunted items. This week's they had Bela Lugosi's mirror and some letters from Charles Manson.

Today I decided to watch a movie that I had seen when I was much younger and remembered loving it. I also remembered it having some sort of twist ending but not really what it was.

So...let's talk about it:

THE UNINVITED (2009)

We survive by remembering. But sometimes we survive by forgetting. 

So as soon as I started the film I remembered the twist right away but it didn't really ruin the film for me. It was more fun to watch it and see how they trick you into believing what is true. The Uninvited is a remake of the South Korean film, A Tale of Two Sisters and was remade in America by the Guard Brothers. The movie was filmed here in Vancouver, and specifically in one house which I will one day own because it is stunningly beautiful and everything I want in a home. Aka isolated and next to a lake with a creepy boat house. Stephen King novel realness.

It tells the story of Anna who has returned home from the psych ward. She was in there after the tragic fire that took the life of her already deathly ill mother. When she returns home she finds her father has started dating the much younger nurse who took care of her mother and her sister is drinking a lot and miserable. As Anna readjusts to life, she starts to suspect that perhaps the nurse is not what she seems and she starts seeing the ghosts of three little children who may lead her to the truth of her mother's death.

Elizabeth Banks does a wonderful job of playing the nurse, Rachel. Every word out of her mouth can be interpreted in so many different ways and you spend the whole movie wondering if she really is evil. She plays scary very well. Emily Browning, in the lead role of Anna, does a great job of pulling you along as she lives day to day in this emotional and confusing new world she's found herself in. Browning is a phenomenal actress who I believe deserves more credit than she's given. She's also breathtakingly beautiful.

I'm sure a much smarter person than I could figure out the twist in this film very quickly. But the first time I saw it I honestly had NO idea and it came as a complete and amazing shock. The scares in the film rely solely on the big "jump". It's not a scary film for the average horror viewer. Although the scene where Anna is sleeping in her bedroom and wakes up to hear a bell ringing and sees a figure sliding along her floor....that shit creeped me out.

Overall I do enjoy this movie, it's isolating and a full bodied story without too many gaping plot holes.

8/10

Stay Spooky!

I turned another year older and watched Hush!

Ya'll it is a warm and rainy spring evening up in here and I've got two horror movies on deck ready to go. But yesterday was my birthday!!!!! I turned 55 years old.

Just kidding, it was 27. And the day was glorious filled with superhero gifts and star wars cards (honestly you could've switched my birthday with an 11 year olds' and they wouldn't have noticed) and I also got a hair cut. For the first time in 5 years. I got a foot of hair cut off of me. And still have a lot left. You could probably farm me for my hair it grows so damn fast and long ya'll.

But the point of all of this is.....I ended my birthday the only way I wanted to...by watching a horror movie. And since I've heard nothing but good things about it...I chose...............

HUSH (2016)

“If you can’t run, hide, or wait… what does that leave? Kill him.”

Oh mama, this was a goodie. I'm already terrified of home invasions (ya'll know this is my greatest fear) so I knew I was going to be creeped out. But with an original premise, a great cast, and a foreboding setting...this movie went above and beyond expectations and I can now see why everyone is raving about it!

It was directed by Mike Flanagan and written by him, and star Kate Siegel. These are the same amazing people who brought us Oculus. It tells the story of Madison, a deaf author who lost her hearing when she was 13 (nightmare inducing in it's own right). She lives by herself in a house in the woods and is currently trying to finish her second novel (my dream life). After her friend Sarah visits and leaves, an intruder appears on her property dragging Sarah who he has murdered. He realizes Madison is deaf and decides it will be fun to torment her. Chaos ensues.

Oh boy, this movie was so GOOD. Like I said, the premise alone is amazing - a deaf woman being hunted in her own home by some rando fucked up intruder (they never explain who he is or why he's there and I didn't even care). And the movie manages very well to keep you creeped out. With scenes like Madison sitting on her couch on her laptop, while the intruder walks right behind her and steals her phone. Or when Madison writes a message in lipstick on the glass telling the intruder (who's been wearing a mask) that she didn't see his face so he's free to go and she won't tell.....then the intruder just straight up takes off the mask and grins. Oh fuck.

It also does a great job of giving you a sense of what Madison is going through with the clever way the film mutes the sound so all you can hear is her breathing. Or sometimes you can hear the voice she hears in her head.

Madison is an amazing final girl. She's tough, she's ruthless, she's smart, and she's a damn survivor ya'll. I'm obsessed with her! OH! AND! They show Madison's bookshelf and she has Stephen King books on there soooo errrr....did we just become best friends?

The movie is creepy, not scary, there are basically no jump scares, but I had a great time watching it. There's only 15 minutes total of dialogue and you barely even notice. It was an amazingly original idea on a common theme in horror, and although there were a few plot holes or very questionable choices being made, it didn't pull you out of it. It was more fun to just scream SMASH HIS HEAD WITH A HAMMER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GURL?!?!

Loved it, will watch again, will aggressively recommend.

(also keep an eye out for Before I Wake from the same writer and director. Looks amazing. Did Mike Flanagan just become one of my favorite horror geniuses? Yeah, I think he did)

10/10

Well done Hush!

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Stay spooky!

Double Feature - The Forest and The Gift

Hey, look at that! I actually came through for once and watched both movies I said I would.

Let's jump right in!

THE FOREST (2016)

Directed by Jason Zada, and starring Natalie Dormer and Taylor Kinney, The Forest follows Sara as she searches for her sister who disappeared into the Aokigahara Forest.

Aokigahara is a real place, a forest at the foot of Mount Fuji. It's also known as the Sea of Trees, or most known as the Suicide Forest. In Japanese mythology, the forest is filled with yurei or "ghosts of the dead", and in modern day it is known for the massive amounts of suicides that take place in among the trees.

The real story behind The Forest is far more scarier than this movie though. Sara's twin sister Jess has gone missing in the suicide forest, but Sara is convinced she's alive because she can still "feel her". She travels to Japan and meets a journalist in a bar who will take her into the forest along with a guide to look for Jess. Once inside the forest they discover Jess's tent and so Sara and the journalist, Aiden, decide to stay the night in case she comes back. The guide warns that the forest is incredibly dangerous at night and you see things that aren't really there.

What could've been a horrifying journey through a ghost filled forest unfortunately turns into a boring, predictable mess. Natalie Dormer does an amazing job, don't get me wrong, but the script itself was weak. And Aiden's character was completely off. The scares were minimal and weak. And the imagery is boring and over-done.

Even the ending itself, while not predictable in a way, is boring and leaves you let down. With a setting and a fantastic creepy lore like the suicide forest, this movie had massive potential. And what was with the white washing of the ghosts? There's a young Japanese girl spirit that follows Sara around the woods and at one point she reveals her true identity as an evil spirit and for some reason her evil spirit face was a white lady? What?

This movie was garbage. But I will allow it the fact that after it was done I did feel creeped out. But that might've been because I was alone in my apartment and I kept hearing noises. We lived in a house for so long that I'm not used to hearing other people around me.

Basically....don't watch this movie. Just watch documentaries about the suicide forest and google images of it. It'll be much scarier.

4/10

THE GIFT (2015)

Well this was a breath of fresh air! Written, directed, and produced by Joel Edgerton, The Gift takes us on a terrifying ride involving a couple (Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall) who are being pursued by a figure from the husband's past, played by Joel Edgerton.

Simon and Robyn relocate to Simon's hometown of Chicago and are instantly greeted by an old friend, Gordo. Gordo starts leaving gifts for the couple and showing up during the day. Simon is instantly annoyed by Gordo whereas Robyn is more understanding and compassionate towards him. After Gordo invites them to a dinner at his home which quickly spirals out of control, the couple realize Gordo is not who he says he is. And as Robyn begins to dig deeper she starts to realize that Simon isn't the man she thought she fell in love with either.

This film is a roller coaster of tense moments and quick, unpredictable scares. The tension gets so thick in some parts you can barely handle it. Gordo is played perfectly and you flip flop from feeling sorry for him, to fearing him, to relating to him. Simon's performance is delivered terrifyingly well by Bateman, while Robyn is just so so. It's one of those great films where you just don't know who to root for and you just get completely wrapped up in the lives and the story.

It also brings into question, do we ever change? Do the bullies in high school grow up and stop being bullies? Or are they always a bully? And should we forgive people for their past sins? It also reminds you that it is impossible to know everything about the person you fall in love with.

It's a really great ride and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time.

A strong 10/10.

Well, that's it for this weekend! I finally feel back to normal. And although my list of horror movies to watch is still too damn long, at least I got three out of the way. And two out of the three were great so that's pretty awesome.

Till next time!

Stay spooky!

In which I watch The Boy (2015) and break my toe while doing it

Well....that was a longer delay than expected. The gypsy curse hit hard and fast. We had everything packed up and ready to go but two days before we moved in, our new building caught on fire. So we had to wait around in limbo for awhile wondering if we were going to be homeless. But finally last weekend we were able to move into our new apartment and then spent the week unpacking.

But enough excuses...I'M BACK...but now also with a broken toe.

I chose to watch The Boy (2015) last night....not the one with Maggie from The Walking Dead, but the other one and half way through I dropped my laptop on my toe. Like...perfectly hit just one toe. I started spurting blood and almost fainting (I'm one of those people who can watch you get your arm cut off without flinching but the second I bleed I'm on the floor blacked out). So now it's all bloody and bruised and swollen and broken.

The laptop is fine though.

Okay I'm shutting up....let's talk about this phenomenal movie!!!!!!!!!!

THE BOY (2015)

Directed and written by Craig Macneill, The Boy tells the story of a father and son who run a lonely motel in the middle of nowhere. It's based on a short film by the same guy which is loosely inspired by the book Miss Corpus, written by Clay McLeod Chapman (who helped write the script as well). 

The father is played amazingly by David Morse, who is a terrible father but manages to make you feel for him anyway. The young boy, Ted, is played by Jared Breeze and can we get this kid a damn Oscar? What an impressive performance! Ted is fucked up from growing up all alone and angry. His mother left him when he was young and his only interaction is with the guests, who come and go, leaving him behind like his mother did. He has a lot of anger that he doesn't know how to deal with and begins to lure animals onto the highway to be killed by oncoming cars. But one night he attracts a deer and a man named William Colby (played by Rainn Wilson) hits said deer and crashes. He is forced to stay at the motel while his car is fixed. Ted instantly becomes attached and fascinated by William, but so does the town Sheriff played by Bill Sage. Seems to be that William is running away from something.

From the get go this movie is so incredibly tense. You're on the edge of your seat the entire time just completely unnerved. Every move that Ted makes you're convinced he's just going to snap and kill everyone. For a movie with not a lot of dialogue, you never get bored once. The scenery is absolutely stunning but so lonely and the score is incredibly creepy and adds to the intensity and dread of the story.

While the ending is slightly predictable if you're paying attention, it doesn't feel like a cop out. I found myself cheering for Ted even though I knew it was wrong. It's a very "anti-hero" type film where you know that Ted is awful but you can't help but completely understand the way he is. He is a victim of his surroundings and the way he was raised.

It asks the interesting question of how serial killers are made. Are they born that way, or are they created by the way they are raised and their environments?

I adored this film and the performances all around were phenomenal, especially Rainn Wilson and Jared Breeze.

10/10

Please watch this film!! I beg of you! This is indie horror done the right way and we should be supporting it and encouraging others to bring us these beautiful and terrifying films.

Alright, up next is most likely The Forest and The Gift, but don't hold me accountable for that. I'm the worst.

Stay spooky ya'll and thank you for being so patient!!