Charlotte

Charlotte

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Most Likely to Die....OF BOREDOM...AYOOOOOOO

Hey guys!
October horror movie challenge is coming up quick and last night I finally scribbled together my game plan. It's subject to change because of so many reasons but at least I've got a basic outline now. I'm also busy planning this years' Halloween party at my job like I do every year...and this year we're doing Halloween Jeopardy!! Which I realized after I'd promised that, I actually had no idea how Jeopardy works. But I've got some time. We're also doing a costume competition for the first year ever. I can't believe October is next week. WHAT IS HAPPENING. But October also means I get to leave on my Hawaiian vacation (with my parents) and pretend I'm wealthy for two weeks (shout out to my parents for paying for this entire vacation) instead of pretending my cracked, infected tooth isn't such a big deal because I can't afford the dentist. HAHAHA....sobbing.


Also last night, my quest to get Mitch to like horror movies continued with me showing him The Purge: Anarchy. Obviously I'm a huge fan of the Purge franchise and can't wait to watch Election Year during the challenge. Mitch watched the original Purge with me last year and he enjoyed it a lot more so for the concept of the purge than for the film itself. But boy oh boy did he LOVE Anarchy. He even thanked me for showing it to him at the end which made me feel quite chuffed. Hopefully during this years' challenge he can find some more horror movies to love.

Anyway,
What I'm actually here to chat about is the steaming pile of garbage I just watched called Most Likely to Die. Luckily I was doing laundry while watching it, so it wasn't a total waste of my time.

Let's jump into it...

MOST LIKELY TO DIE (2015)


I saw the trailer for this awhile ago and I thought to myself it looks like someone trying to revive the 90's slasher trope. I was intrigued. Then I saw Perez Hilton was in it and was completely turned off by the whole thing. I get irritated with a lot of people but I rarely hate people. I HATE Perez Hilton. I had the unfortunate luxury to spend 4 weeks of my life watching him on Celebrity Big Brother for three hours a day and he is a TERRIBLE person. He is the definition of "vile".

But today while I was doing my laundry I thought, what the hell, maybe I'll give it a try. For all I know Perez is a great actor and I won't even be annoyed because he'll be a different character. I was wrong for thinking that. He is a terrible actor. He's an over-actor. And he basically just plays himself the whole time. There's a pretty important scene where his character reveals why he quit drinking and the tragic circumstances that led to it. It was delivered so badly and unemotionally, my dog could've done a better job.

Enough Perez bashing though because this film is filled with flaws.


First of all the premise is that a group of friends who were on the year book committee are reuniting the night before their 10-year high school reunion. They spend the first bit reminiscing on basically all the terrible things they did in high school including tormenting one particular guy, John. Then as the night goes on they start getting murdered one by one by someone dressed up in graduation garb and a mask that matches the scratched out, defaced senior picture of John in the yearbook, which was a prank the group pulled back in high school.

So what happened to this movie? It has all the trappings of a good slasher flick along with a great costumed killer, the likes of which we haven't seen in awhile. But there's too many characters which aren't introduced properly and you can't get close to any of them. The only character I liked was Gaby, played by Heather Morris, and that was only because she got the most screen time and I could actually keep track of who she was.

The actions of the characters made no sense. After the first murder they all start turning on each other immediately and keep accusing Ray, who I can't even keep track of who that is. And when Ray finally shows up at the end, I'd completely forgotten about him. In fact when writing this review I thought Ray was the name of the bullied kid, but I just re-watched the ending and turns out that kids name was John. 


The kills were basically non-existence and watered down. If the kills had been more slasher esq, I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more. The only kill that got me back to paying attention was when the killer whips his graduation cap at one of the characters and it slices her throat open. Not sure how that happens but it was a great watch. Other than that? Nothing.

Most Likely to Die was written in the 90's during the slasher hay day but was shelved until now. I think if this movie had been given some more love and attention it could've been a great romp. But it was handled badly and cheaply and now we're left with this mess. Not even the "twist" ending could redeem it.

Garbage. Don't waste your time. Now I feel like I need to watch another horror movie to cleanse my pallet. Good lord.

Alright,
I'll be minimal on here until the challenge starts in 6 days and then I'll be here every day until you're sick of me.

Stay spooky!


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