Spooky Saturday - Emelie and why you should never trust the babysitter

It's Saturday!!! And last night I watched Emelie, a 2015 horror film directed by Michael Thelin and written by Richard Raymond Harry Herbeck (DANG). Starring Sarah Bolger in a terrifying babysitter role, Emelie is unlike anything I've ever seen. Let's jump into it!

EMELIE 2015

"...it made her mind crack. It didn't break, it just cracked."

Emelie opens on a young girl walking, talking on the phone to her friend about taking a last minute babysitter job. A car pulls up, inside someone asks her what her name is, and then someone comes up behind her and promptly kidnaps her and drives away. So soon after when the new babysitter is picked up by the Father, Dan, answering to the name Anna, we know this isn't her. And when the parents leave their children with this stranger she begins to terrorize the children in increasingly creepy and awful ways. There's Josh, the oldest and moodiest, Sally, a red-headed high-energy young girl, and the youngest son Christopher with a bad ass teddy bear whose face lights up and I want that?!

Overall the story is pretty solid - Emelie is a young mother dealing with the tragic loss of her own child which she accidentally smothered in her sleep. We learn this through a terrifying story she reads young Christopher referring to her dead child as "young cubby". She then tells Christopher how she's trying to find a new cubby, and soon we realize she has her sights set on him.

Throughout the movie Emelie puts the kids through some terrifying moments including putting Sally's hamster into the snake pen and making them all watch in an ICONIC scene as the snake slowly crushes the hamster. There's an incredibly uncomfortable scene where Emelie lets Josh find her on the toilet and asks him to get her a tampon. She even puts on a home sex tape of their parents and makes them watch it. This movie is so uncomfortable but you can't turn away. There's so many scenes where you almost want to scream but you can't. There was a lot of audible gasping and clutching of my chest.

But once Josh finds out who "Anna" really is and realizes she's trying to steal his younger brother, Josh really steps up. But Emelie puts up a hell of a fight involving some really great cat and mouse type scenes, and some brutal violence. Josh manages to trick Emelie in the end though as she gets more desperate and while the ending is kind of sub par, I wasn't too let down.

What I didn't love about this film though - the story line with the boyfriend. Maybe I totally missed something, but Emelie spends a lot of the film sending texts to this mysterious guy who you only see a side profile of, keeping him updated of what's going on. Then near the end she tells him to basically buy more time before the parents come home so he slams his car into their car and kills himself? Right? Is that what happened? I have no idea. I was super confused about all of this.

Also the film kept flashing back and forth to the parents having their dinner while all these horrendous things are going on at their home but I actually hated this. I get that it's supposed to sort of keep you on edge and show the contrast of both scenes but whenever it skipped back to the parents it was hella boring.

Sarah Bolger delivers one hell of a performance and the kids aren't annoying which is a huge win! You know I can't stand kids in horror movies most of the time but these guys did a great job.

I did love this movie quite a bit. It's definitely an experience. I highly recommend it and if someone could clarify that boyfriend sub-story line please do.

9/10

Stay Spooky!

Day 23 - The Witch - October Horror Movie Challenge

THE WITCH (2015)

Black Phillip, Black Phillip, a crown grows out his head. Black Phillip, Black Phillip, to nanny queen is wed. Jump to the fence post. Running in the stall. Black Phillip, Black Phillip, king of all. 

William and his family are banished from a Puritan plantation in England in 1630 due to his intense religious interpretation of the bible. The family leaves and builds a farm on the edge of a giant forest. They're struggling to grow crops, and those that do grow are infected. Thomasin, the oldest daughter, is playing peek-a-boo with the youngest baby, Samuel when he suddenly disappears.

He was kidnapped by a witch who lives in the woods and she murders him, covering her body in his blood.  But the family believe he was taken by a wolf. The mother, Katherine, is devastated and spends all her time crying and praying while William secretly trades her precious silver cup for hunting supplies. But when he takes his oldest son Caleb into the woods they find no game.

That night the children hear their parents discussing the fear of making it through the winter without food and speak of sending Thomasin to live with another family. In the morning Caleb and Thomasin sneak out to hunt in the woods and try desperately to find food for their family. But something scares the horse and the dog and Thomasin falls to the ground hitting her head, while Caleb runs after the dog. When Thomasin wakes up she realizes her brother is missing.

With the twins seeming to understand what the goat, Black Phillip, is saying to them, and the sudden return of Caleb, naked and confused from the woods, the family begins to fear witchcraft. But soon fingers point to Thomasin and she must convince them of the truth and fight for her life against the religious fury pointed at her.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• That scenery though.....so terrifying and isolated. Just a small farm in the middle of nowhere on the edge of a spooky forest with just your family to keep your company, anyone would go crazy.
• The score was one of the best I've ever heard. It was haunting.
• Witch scenes - brutal, confusing, freaky.
• Amazing performances all around, specifically from Anya Taylor-Joy in her first movie role, and the mother played by Kate Dickie who was in Game of Thrones.
• Directorial debut from Robert Eggers and written by him as well - can't WAIT to see what he'll send out into the world next.

 Overall?

I'm skipping what I didn't like because I'm really not sure about this movie. I watched it last night and usually I write the blog right after but I slept on it and thought about it all day and I'm still so uncertain. Did I love it? Did I hate it? I don't even know.

I mean, this movie is deep. The symbols were strong with this one. From Black Phillip representing the devil and the poison apple representing old fairy tale witches, and the goats spitting out blood instead of milk. This movie represents so many things from oppression to misogyny to distrust. I didn't trust the film myself. Even the corn, which has gone rotten, is a hallucinogen. So if they were eating this stuff, how can we trust any of it was really happening? Was Thomasin evil all along? Or was she a young girl scared by her faith who misses her old life and is seduced easily into a new life?

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

It's a good film. It's accurate for the times from the dress, to the accent to the dialect. It's beautifully shot and it's easy to follow. But it's so damn....creepy? Thoughtful? Unnerving?

Jury is out on this one for me so I'm not even going to rate it.

Just watch it.

Stay spooky!

Day 22 - Crimson Peak - October Horror Movie Challenge

CRIMSON PEAK (2015)

A house as old as this one becomes, in time, a living thing. It starts holding onto things... keeping them alive when they shouldn't be. Some of them are good; some of them bad... Some should never be spoken about again. 

When Edith was young her mother passed away but returned to her as a ghost to warn her against "Crimson Peak". As an adult Edith is a budding horror writer, not being taken seriously. She is being courted by a young Doctor by the name of Alan but she has no interest in getting married, only becoming a writer. When Thomas and Lucille Sharpe arrive from London, the whole town is ablaze with who Thomas will pick as a suitor. He reads Edith's novel and loves it, in turn falling in love with her. Edith, for the first time, finds herself falling in love as well.

But Edith's father is against this courtship and when he finds some troubling news of the Sharpe's past, he pays Thomas and Lucille to leave and to break Edith's heart. Thomas does so, but soon after Edith's father is violently murdered, pushing her into the arms of Thomas.

Thomas and his sister take Edith away to their family home in England, an old decrepit mansion in the middle of nowhere, built on top of a clay mine. The house is falling apart and red clay oozes from every crack, the house itself is slowly sinking into the ground.

Edith begins to see terrifying spirits around the house and begins to get sicker and sicker. But what is causing it all? And why is Lucille so strange? And what is really buried beneath the house in the old clay mind?

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• WHAT DIDN'T I LOVE? Good lord. This movie is amazing. 
• The scenery and sets are breathtakingly beautiful and the costumes are so delicate and gorgeous.
• The acting is incredible and the script is just mind blowing. "The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all." 
• All the ghosts were terrifying and haunting. The opening scene with Edith's mother returning was so scary. And there was one particular scene where Edith thinks her dog has locked itself in a room but instead it's a ghost and it had me covered in goosebumps.
• Lucille is so amazingly terrifying and the final scene where she's chasing Edith through the snow was just breathtaking.
• When Edith's father is murdered it is shockingly violent but somehow still fits within the film.

What I didn't love?

• Please.

Overall?

I'm a huge Guillermo del Toro fan and it frustrates me to no end that Hollywood doesn't allow this man to make as many movies as he wants. He's constantly being shut down or not funded and I just can't understand why. Pacific Rim is one of my top 5 favorite films of all time, and I'm not gonna lie in saying that Crimson Peak might be up there too. Guillermo is a master of horror and visuals and he is a god send. His imagination must be protected at all costs.

I'm ashamed it took me so long to watch Crimson Peak, but I'll admit it was because I was worried it would suck. A lot of people didn't like it and I was bummed about that. But now that I've seen it, I don't understand why? This movie is a beautiful masterpiece. I want to wrap myself up in the story, I want to run around in long flowing dresses wielding a knife, and I want to live in that beautiful, haunted mansion.

Crimson Peak was built entirely for this movie and I'm so glad this came to be because it brought such a real feel to this story. Unfortunately they had to tear it down after filming which is depressing because I would sell my soul to Guillermo to live there.

This is an amazing ghost story and I can't wait to watch it again!

10/10

Tonight is the premier of the walking dead ya'll! I haven't watched since season 4 because I hated the way the show was going, but Negan has arrived and it looks like Rick's hand is about to get cut off....so I'm back on board!

Stay Spooky!

Day 21 - Bloodsucking Bastards - October Horror Movie Challenge

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015)

 

I track how many paperclips we use per quarter, you think I wouldn't notice a vampire company takeover?

Evan works as Acting Sales Manager for a call center along with his friend Tim. Tim and his coworkers are a bunch of slackers and the company is barely hanging on. Amanda is head of HR and was dating Evan until she told him she loved him and he panicked and responded with "...nnnnoooooo..."

Evan is expecting to be promoted to Sales Manager but is devastated when the Branch President hires someone outside to take on the role; Max. Evan and Tim know Max from college when Max stole Evan's girlfriend and then Evan got Max kicked out of college.

Instantly things start to change and people keep disappearing and then re-appearing paler than ever but Evan doesn't notice because he's too busy worrying about his upcoming sales pitch that could cement his position with the company.

When he finally notices, Tim and the security guard Frank have been noticing for awhile but have sort of just been watching it go on. The three of them team up to try and take back their office, and rescue Amanda from the pervy clutches of Max using only office supplies and the help of wikipedia.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• SO MANY THINGS.
• Surprise appearance by Matthew Lillard!? So random! Made me incredibly happy. And can I just say...he is aging very nicely. Like a fine cheese. Which I am allergic to.
• Frank and Tim are comedic gold and had me cackling so many times. Franks obsession with red bull hit so close to home I was emotional.
• The scene where Tim and Dave are calmly discussing how to kill each other and who should go first was absolutely hilarious.
• I love that the vampires completely explode when you stab them "Wikipedia did not mention that..."
• When Max was micromanaging the final fight scene, I was DYING!

What I didn't love?

• This movie was perfect.

Overall?

This might be my second favorite horror comedy of all time. An absolutely hilarious and well done story. Its premise is simple but it works amazingly. This is just an absolute gem of a film.

Just the idea that the Branch President was sold the idea of turning the workers into vampires, and he thought, yeah alright that makes sense. Could bring in more profits. How many damn companies would totally agree to this if it was possible. And Max's backstory? Oh, I went to school in Romania. OH OKAY. It's just a simple movie but it works perfectly and I will be highly recommending this.

10/10

Stay Spooky! 

 

Day 20 - Krampus - October Horror Movie Challenge

KRAMPUS (2015)

Saint Nicholas is not coming this year. Instead, a much darker, ancient spirit. His name is Krampus. He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take. He is the shadow of Saint Nicholas...

A dysfunctional family that has fallen apart over the years is getting ready for Christmas. The father, Tom is constantly away with work, the mother Sarah is high strung, the teenage daughter Beth is dreading spending time with them, and the young son Max is acting out.

Max still believes in Santa and this year he writes a special letter to him pleading to bring his family back together. His Omi is the only one who understands what he's going through and she tries to keep up the Christmas traditions while the rest of the family bicker.

When Sarah's sister arrives with her family everything kicks off. The sister, Linda and her husband Howard have four out of control kids and they've also brought along Aunt Dorothy. When they all sit down for dinner everyone is incredibly ungrateful and all begin fighting. The two daughters of Linda steal Max's letter to Santa and read it out loud to the table and Max, incredibly upset, rips up the letter and throws it out the window.

He's done. He doesn't believe in Christmas anymore and he's given up hope on his family.

The next morning they wake up to an incredible snow storm and no power. Beth goes out to check on her boyfriend who lives a few houses away and when she doesn't return, the family begins to panic. But what are those noises they keep hearing on the roof? What's attacking everyone in the snow? Where did those mysterious snowmen come from?  And does Omi know more than she's letting on?

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• The practical effects were phenomenal and no matter how goofy it all got, the monsters were still pretty terrifying. The elves were serving some Christmas purge realness.
• Krampus isn't revealed until the very end which creates so much tension just waiting to finally see him. When you do, it doesn't let you down - they don't even fully reveal him and leave so much up to your own imagination. He's terrifying.
• The acting was well done in this, you could really see your own family in this sort of situation, especially around the dinner table.
• The animated flashback from Omi was beautiful and creepy and very well done. It felt so old school folk lore-ish.
• I think the overall message is pretty great. I kind of wish Krampus was real. OR IS HE?!

What I didn't love?

• The movie started out taking itself seriously and then there's this switch that happens where it becomes very over the top and goofy. It took a little while to adjust yourself while watching it. But once you do, you can continue to enjoy it.

Overall?

I have wanted to watch this movie since last year and I'm so happy to finally have watched it. I had very high expectations and it delivered. All of the monsters were so fun and I kind of want action figure versions of all of them so I can cover my home with them.

Even though I lived in Germany for four years and heard many European folk tales, I never heard about Krampus, which is sad because I would've been all over that. The folk tale is so great and I love how violent it is. Krampus shoves bad kids into his sack and beats them. I mean...COME THROUGH VIOLENT SANTA! Props to Michael Dougherty (also gave us Trick 'r Treat) for bringing back this folk lore and now causing a tone of rip off movies to follow suit.

Basically this has all the tropes of a regular Christmas movie, and if you removed Krampus it could be sold as such. But this is the horror genre, and nothing is safe. They do an amazing job of keeping the spirit of a Christmas movie (goofy family mad at each other and ruining Christmas) and teaching us the valuable lesson of loving your family and not losing the meaning of Christmas. Because Krampus will break through your fireplace and send you into the depths of the underworld.

10/10

I'm two days behind again because I spent Thursday night crafting my Lucille bat for my Negan Halloween costume and watching The Great British Bake Off. Last night I watched Fox's remake of Rocky Horror which premiered on Thursday. It was alright....Laverne Cox was a god send as usual but why the fuck did they change the songs? Like...let's take the two most famous and popular songs from this beloved cult classic and change the way it sounds.
Stupid.

Any way, off I go to watch two more horror movies and get back on track!

Stay Spooky!

Day 19 - Bone Tomahawk - October Horror Movie Challenge

BONE TOMAHAWK (2015)

This is why frontier life is so difficult. Not because of the Indians or the elements but because of the idiots. 

Buddy and Purvis are out in the badlands killing and robbing. But after they see someone approaching they run away only to be stopped by ghostly cries all around them. Buddy is murdered, leaving Purvis to run for his life.

Back in town, Samantha and her husband Arthur are settling in for the night. Arthur has a broken leg and is moaning about it. At Sheriff Hunt's house his deputy, Chicory has arrived in a panic. He saw a stranger outside of town dumping something into a hole.

The two head to the local tavern to find Purvis out of his mind, Hunt shoots him in the leg and sends Nick to look after him in jail. Brooder goes and collects Samantha so she can fix up the wound, leaving Arthur in bed with his broken leg.

The next morning Sheriff Hunt is called out to a barn where a stable boy, Buford, has been murdered brutally and the horses have been stolen. He immediately runs to the jail only to find Samantha, Nick and Purvis missing. He also finds an Indian arrow in the wall. Hunt calls a meeting at the tavern and they discover that the arrow belongs to Troglodytes aka cave dwellers. They're warned not to venture near them or else they'll be murdered.

But Hunt gets together a rescue party made out of Chicory, Brooder, himself and Arthur and they set out into the dangerous badlands to rescue Samantha and Nick. But they are not prepared in the least for what's waiting for them out there.

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• This cast is mind blowing. The talent on screen is just shocking. Kurt Russell is subtle, quiet and striking. Lili Simmons is a power house. And shout out to that scene stealing performance by Sid Haig.
• I love how close everyone in this town is and so protective of each other.
• The cave dwellers are TERRIFYING!!!!!!!! And their ghostly scream brings chills when I think about it.
• The dialogue is rich and the story is thick with tension and fear.

What I didn't love?

• Ya'll the brutality of this movie TRAUMATIZED ME. The scalping scene and then right after the like...what do I even call that?...cutting that guy in half upside down. I was gagging.
• Literally my notes for the last 20 minutes of this movie are me screaming.
• When they cut open Hunt and shoved that scalding hot flask inside of him OMFG WHO THINKS OF THIS SHIT.
• Look....I'm sensitive when it comes to torture so these scenes really fucked with me. Not saying I didn't love it and it was totally appropriate for the film. And I knew going in that I wouldn't be thrilled with that part. But....just....wow. MUCH VIOLENCE.

Overall?

I have heard nothing but good things about this film since it was released and I've really been looking forward to it. It was amazing and I love a good frontier story. I could've watched this for hours. And I love that most of the movie is really just spent with four relentless men trekking through the wild, camping under the stars, and dealing with the tough questions life throws your way.

9/10

Stay spooky!

Day 18 - The Hallow - October Horror Movie Challenge

THE HALLOW (2015)

"...these people have got certain beliefs." "Beliefs?" "They believe that the forest you're trampling on belongs to the hallow."

Adam and Clare and their baby, Finn have just moved to a small Irish village surrounded by a massive forest. Adam is a British conservative and the family is not really welcomed in the village. As they settle in, Clare removes all the weird iron bars from the windows and Adam begins to explore the forest. He finds an abandoned house with a dead animal inside which he collects samples from.

Their neighbor keeps visiting and is super creepy and threatening but they choose to ignore it. That night something breaks into the baby's room and knocks over a lamp. Clare and Adam panic and call the police who tell them it was probably just a bird (??????? a drunk bird at that?!). But the officer does warn them of the hallows which is Irish folklore for fairies and banshees. Turns out their neighbors' daughter went missing in the woods and he believes the hallow took her.

The next day the neighbor comes back and leaves Clare with a creepy book, meanwhile Adam is in town and the shop keepers tells him they shouldn't have removed the iron bars, so whatever happens to them is their fault...."if you trespass upon them, they'll trespass upon you."

On the way home Adam's car breaks down and he's attacked.

And so begins the longest night of their lives as they fight for the safety of their child and hide from what can't be real....the hallow.

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• I'm obsessed with the house they live in....dream home much?! Giant, old house in the middle of a forest?!?!
• I love that they never really showed the monsters until the very end. It was all very hidden and spooky and worked incredibly well during the final reveal. There's a great and terrifying scene where Adam is taking photos of the house and catches a glimpse of the monster in the flash.
• Love the folklore of it all!
• Bojana Novakovic was a power house.

What I didn't love?

• Not much...my attention waned a few times but that's mostly because I'm constantly stressing and planning right now for the next week and a half.

Overall?

I was quite excited for this one and it didn't let me down. The creatures give me some Pan's Labyrinth vibe realness and the story was simple but fleshed out. It was originally titled The Woods which I'm glad they changed because there's too many fucking "woods" movies. And even though the basis of this film is the "woods" it's more so about the age of the forest and the creatures that protect it.

Really spooky, good Halloween flick!

8/10

This is the first film of our 2015 theme week...can't believe we're already on week three...WHERE IS TIME GOING?!

Stay spooky!
 

Most Likely to Die....OF BOREDOM...AYOOOOOOO

Hey guys!
October horror movie challenge is coming up quick and last night I finally scribbled together my game plan. It's subject to change because of so many reasons but at least I've got a basic outline now. I'm also busy planning this years' Halloween party at my job like I do every year...and this year we're doing Halloween Jeopardy!! Which I realized after I'd promised that, I actually had no idea how Jeopardy works. But I've got some time. We're also doing a costume competition for the first year ever. I can't believe October is next week. WHAT IS HAPPENING. But October also means I get to leave on my Hawaiian vacation (with my parents) and pretend I'm wealthy for two weeks (shout out to my parents for paying for this entire vacation) instead of pretending my cracked, infected tooth isn't such a big deal because I can't afford the dentist. HAHAHA....sobbing.

Also last night, my quest to get Mitch to like horror movies continued with me showing him The Purge: Anarchy. Obviously I'm a huge fan of the Purge franchise and can't wait to watch Election Year during the challenge. Mitch watched the original Purge with me last year and he enjoyed it a lot more so for the concept of the purge than for the film itself. But boy oh boy did he LOVE Anarchy. He even thanked me for showing it to him at the end which made me feel quite chuffed. Hopefully during this years' challenge he can find some more horror movies to love.

Anyway,
What I'm actually here to chat about is the steaming pile of garbage I just watched called Most Likely to Die. Luckily I was doing laundry while watching it, so it wasn't a total waste of my time.

Let's jump into it...

MOST LIKELY TO DIE (2015)

I saw the trailer for this awhile ago and I thought to myself it looks like someone trying to revive the 90's slasher trope. I was intrigued. Then I saw Perez Hilton was in it and was completely turned off by the whole thing. I get irritated with a lot of people but I rarely hate people. I HATE Perez Hilton. I had the unfortunate luxury to spend 4 weeks of my life watching him on Celebrity Big Brother for three hours a day and he is a TERRIBLE person. He is the definition of "vile".

But today while I was doing my laundry I thought, what the hell, maybe I'll give it a try. For all I know Perez is a great actor and I won't even be annoyed because he'll be a different character. I was wrong for thinking that. He is a terrible actor. He's an over-actor. And he basically just plays himself the whole time. There's a pretty important scene where his character reveals why he quit drinking and the tragic circumstances that led to it. It was delivered so badly and unemotionally, my dog could've done a better job.

Enough Perez bashing though because this film is filled with flaws.

First of all the premise is that a group of friends who were on the year book committee are reuniting the night before their 10-year high school reunion. They spend the first bit reminiscing on basically all the terrible things they did in high school including tormenting one particular guy, John. Then as the night goes on they start getting murdered one by one by someone dressed up in graduation garb and a mask that matches the scratched out, defaced senior picture of John in the yearbook, which was a prank the group pulled back in high school.

So what happened to this movie? It has all the trappings of a good slasher flick along with a great costumed killer, the likes of which we haven't seen in awhile. But there's too many characters which aren't introduced properly and you can't get close to any of them. The only character I liked was Gaby, played by Heather Morris, and that was only because she got the most screen time and I could actually keep track of who she was.

The actions of the characters made no sense. After the first murder they all start turning on each other immediately and keep accusing Ray, who I can't even keep track of who that is. And when Ray finally shows up at the end, I'd completely forgotten about him. In fact when writing this review I thought Ray was the name of the bullied kid, but I just re-watched the ending and turns out that kids name was John. 

The kills were basically non-existence and watered down. If the kills had been more slasher esq, I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more. The only kill that got me back to paying attention was when the killer whips his graduation cap at one of the characters and it slices her throat open. Not sure how that happens but it was a great watch. Other than that? Nothing.

Most Likely to Die was written in the 90's during the slasher hay day but was shelved until now. I think if this movie had been given some more love and attention it could've been a great romp. But it was handled badly and cheaply and now we're left with this mess. Not even the "twist" ending could redeem it.

Garbage. Don't waste your time. Now I feel like I need to watch another horror movie to cleanse my pallet. Good lord.

Alright,

I'll be minimal on here until the challenge starts in 6 days and then I'll be here every day until you're sick of me.

Stay spooky!

Green Room

GREEN ROOM (2015)

I've got a dumb idea...

Months ago I saw the trailer for this movie and got immediately hyped. Sir Patrick Stewart playing a psycho neo nazi?! Sign me the fuck up.
I was also psyched because I was pretty sure I could convince Mitch to watch this movie with me since it had punk bands in it and a great soundtrack. Luckily, two months ago Mitch came to me and suggested we watch this movie. I didn't even have to convince him!

So last night we rented Green Room on itunes and settled down to watch it.

Written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier it stars the late and great Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots and of course Sir Patrick Stewart. It made it's premier at Cannes in 2015 but was widely released in May of this year. Sir Patrick Stewart accepted this role after he read the script in his home in England and was so terrified at the end of it that he turned on the security system and poured himself a scotch.

The poster is an homage to The Clash's London Calling album cover.

(SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT)

A punk band called the Ain't Rights are on tour and after being told about a show where they could make a fare bit of cash, they drive to Portland only to find it's a neo nazi show. The band decide to open with the classic Nazi Punks Fuck Off song by the Dead Kennedys to a not so thrilled crowd.

After their show they are hustled out pretty quickly, but Sam forgot her phone in the green room so Pat runs back in to grab it only to find a girl lying dead on the floor, a knife sticking out her head and three neo nazis standing around her. Her friend Amber is cowering the corner. And so the neo nazis are stuck in a tough position....this visiting band has witnessed something they want kept secret. And they don't want the cops sniffing around, especially with what they're keeping in the basement. So the band ends up basically quarantined in the green room, fearing for their lives, and trying to find a way out. While outside the neo nazis, led by Darcy (Stewart) plan their deaths, wanting to make it look like an accident.

First off - was this a horror movie? Not really. It was more of a really violent thriller. Of course there are horror elements in a sense - neo nazis are pretty horrific, and there's some flesh hungry dogs running around. But I was expecting more of a jump scare, horror type film. Which it isn't.

Now, that doesn't make me disappointed in any way. I still enjoyed the movie and found it very intense.

It had a nice slow burn beginning to it where we got to know the main characters and care about them. And what I will say is the deaths in this film - they are mostly pretty quick, violent, and shocking. It's incredibly upsetting once you've gotten to know these band mates.

I really loved Amber a lot. She was pretty fucking bad ass. Pat, played by Anton, was really really great too. Such depth to that character. Sam, played by Alia Shawkat was a joy to watch too. Her death really upset me. It was so damn violent!!

No part of this film felt too long to me, every scene felt like it needed to be there. It's a dark, gory film that I really enjoyed watching.

Mitch on the other hand seemed to get very confused at the beginning. He couldn't follow along with the characters or story line. BUT he was also very drunk. So I'm not sure if that's the film being too convoluted to start, or too much beer in Mitch's tummy. I followed along just fine.

Overall - Green Room is pretty damn great. Is it as great as everyone is saying? Nah. People have a real circle jerk going on for this film and while it was awesome....if I had paid attention to the hype and had incredibly high expectations...I think I would've been disappointed.

But...WATCH IT! It's unique, it's independent, support it.

gif credit

Alrighty, I've got a list of a tone of movies for September and October and I'm going to knuckle down and watch them. Although as I type this I'm watching Hellevator which I talked about awhile ago. It's that reality TV show that puts three people into a horror movie type setting and if they survive they win money. It's hosted by my favorite female directors; the amazing Jen and Sylvia Soska.  It's on Netflix now yeyyy!

Stay Spooky!

The Abandoned...and why you should abandon the ending of this film

Random movie choice....let's talk about it!

The Abandoned (2015)

Spoilers ahead because this movie made me angry...

You've been warned...

Alright, so The Abandoned suffers from a common horror trope of doing an amazing job and then giving up completely on the ending and causing the whole movie to fall apart. And I always feel so personally let down by this situation because I've invested my time into a movie and enjoyed myself watching it and then the ending hits and I'm sitting there with basically horror movie blue balls.

The Abandoned (also titled The Confines) came out in 2015 and is the directorial debut of Eytan Rockaway. It stars Louisa Krause as Julia, the main character who accepts a job as a night security guard at an abandoned apartment complex. Her co-worker, Dennis, is played by Jason Patric who is wheelchair bound and kind of a dick. The two start off butting heads quite quickly, Dennis annoyed because no one ever lasts in this night shift role.

Julia decides to go out and patrol the building and starts to hear and see things. She also discovers a locked room which Dennis tells her to forget about. BUT HOW COULD ANYONE?! Mysterious locked room in an abandoned building.....I want in!

A homeless man tries to get into the building to hide from the rain and Julia lets him in. She then breaks into the mysterious locked room and discovers some weird shit like child drawings and hospital beds. The homeless man follows her in and is quickly murdered by a ghost child. Julia goes back up to Dennis and the two of them research the building online finding a video that shows an investigative journalist uncovering the building they're in as an orphanage for the deformed and mentally-challenged children. The nurses and doctors treated the children terribly and abused them.

Side note; how many times has this been done before? God damn. It's based off of the real life expose of Willowbrook State School where Geraldo Rivera documented the tragic living facilities of thousands of children basically left to fend for themselves in a poorly run and understaffed institution. Rivera broadcast the expose and it shocked everyone. If you want to see this video, you can find it online, but watch with caution...it will shatter your heart into 1000 pieces and make you hate society.
It was also, of course, cleverly redone in American Horror Story; Asylum. But in the Abandoned it's more of an eye roll of course this is the story they chose moment. They even copied the original video. But again, not as well done as AHS accomplished it.

Anyway, in the movie, this is where Dennis discovers Julia is dependent on antipsychotic medication and his only reaction is to handcuff her......because...that's where we're at in the film. Dennis then goes down to the locked room and is taunted by the ghosts of the deformed children.

Julia goes down to rescue him and is lead by a ghost boy who shares with her the history of the place and how four children attempted to escape but were instead locked into a room containing a reservoir of disgusting water. When they got desperate they drank it and died all except one.

Look...anyway...ghost stuff happens, Julia almost dies, Dennis saves her and happily ever after right?

WRONG.

We are shown a hospital room where Julia is lying comatose and it is revealed that she is the daughter of Dennis Cooper who is sitting next to her bed in his wheelchair. We see some of the other characters from the movie as doctors or patients. You see....it turns out this was all a coma dreammmmm ~~~**~~~

It was literally all a fucking dream.

And I'm here to ask why?!

WHY

This movie was so much fun up until that last few minutes. It didn't need that little twisty turny garbage. It was a great, old fashioned, ghost movie set in an abandoned building. The scares were great, the ghosts were pretty terrifying actually, and the setting was creepy and perfect. The dynamic between Dennis and Julia was complex and interesting. Louisa Krause did a phenomenal job!
So...why...why would you bury your movie like this when it wasn't needed? Just end with Julia escaping and you've got yourself a great horror movie.

End it with "it was all a dream" and leave everyone watching annoyed.

And don't get me wrong, I love certain twists where it ends up that it was all a dream, or some sort of psychotic break. But I love it when it's done right. Like The Uninvited or Silent House.

I'm just pissed. It felt lazy and panicky.

But would I recommend it? Probably. The rest of the film was so great and pretty spooky. But maybe turn it off right before it ends and save yourself the disappointment.

(look...I'm watching horror movies again....hooray!)

Stay Spooky!