Exorcisms, Demons and Priests, Oh My! Double Bill!

I’ve got a double bill review for you today! Also this is my 200th post! HOORAY! I’ve bored you 200 times already….

Quick update on my own life since I know ya’ll are waiting patiently to hear about my gypsy cursed life. That’s why you really read this right? HA!

I had surgery last week on my face and got the lump removed, only they weren’t able to remove it all. So they stitched it up and tomorrow night I have to go get steroids injected into the wound and hopefully that kills the rest of it. If it doesn’t, I’m off for more surgery! That twin I absorbed in utero is really hanging on! Jokes aside, I’m really stressed about it and scared. BUT that’s why horror movies are so great because when I watch them they make me forget about my trivial panics and think, well at least I’m not being chased by nazi zombies in the snow!

So I laid out my “to-watch” horror movie list in a nice and organized way and then completely freaked out because there’s 44 movies on there, and that’s not including the ones coming out this year.

I think I need to sort out another challenge for myself because that’s when I actually carve out the time to watch horror movies properly. I organized my movies into decades. Maybe I could do like an early 2000’s themed week? I’ll figure it out.

BUT…this week I did watch a double bill of my own choosing:
The Exorcist 3 and Hostage to the Devil.
So without further ado – let’s jump right in!

THE EXORCIST 3 (1990)

Well, there I was so awfully dead in that electric chair. I didn't like it. Would you? It's upsetting. There was still so much killing to do, and there I was, in the void, without a body.

Written and directed by William Peter Blatty (RIP) it is based on his book, Legion. Blatty of course brought us the original The Exorcist novel which is an amazing piece of horror fiction that I highly recommend. I haven’t read Legion yet but have it on order.

It stars George C. Scott, returning as Detective Kinderman, Ed Flanders, returning as Father Dyer, and Brad Dourif. It takes place 17 years after the events of The Exorcist and starts off with a traumatic murder of a priest and a young boy. Kinderman is on the case and is starting to think it may be the work of the Gemini Killer (who is based off of the Zodiac killer) which is impossible…the Gemini Killer should be dead!

What I loved most about this movie was the caring, loving relationship between Dyer and Kinderman. The two old men who have seen some shit together, are tender and loving to each other and banter back and forth about old movies and tease each other. But Dyer is put into the hospital and shortly after killed. The aftermath of Dyer’s death is so freaky, leaving a lot to the imagination. There’s little cups of blood all around the room that have somehow been drained from Dyer’s body without making a mess and painted on the wall in his blood is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. George C. Scott is triumphant in this movie and when he switches from calm to absolute rage, it’s an amazing thing to watch.

Kinderman’s investigation takes a strange turn for the worse when he discovers a patient in the hospital who looks like Father Karras who died at the end of the first movie. Dourif’s portrayal of Karras/the Gemini Killer is wonderful. Dourif is such a force to be reckoned with.

This is a character driven piece with lots of monologues and quiet moments. But when the horror hits, it hits fucking hard. Of course, this movie is known for its famous horrific scene with the nurse in the hallway. And even though I knew it was coming I still jumped like a lunatic and it gave me goosebumps. It’s the perfect buildup of tension that creates the paranoia in you as your eyes roam back and forth across the screen, wondering when and where it will come.

The Exorcist 3 is a wonderful, horrific, dreamy film that holds its punches until you can’t take it anymore and then smacks you upside the head. I adore it and can’t wait to watch it again. And I’m also angry I took so long to watch it.

10/10

HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL (2017)

The devil does exist, he really is out there, he is our enemy and he hates us.

Next up I watched the documentary Hostage to the Devil. I have read the book that Malachi Martin wrote which this documentary takes it name from a year or so ago and found it enjoyable but boring in some parts.

The documentary tells the life story of Father Martin, an Irish Catholic priest and writer. During his life he was heavily involved in the preparations of the Second Vatican Council before starting to disagree with the reforms. He asked to be released and moved to New York where he wrote 17 novels that oftentimes were critical of the Catholic Church. A lot of his work was focused on exorcisms and the existence of demons. After his “mysterious” death, friends and disbelievers come together in this documentary to explore his life and memory and to relive the exorcisms he performed during his long career.

Unfortunately this documentary spends most of its time having Martin’s friends and family talk about how charismatic he was and when the film does finally focus on the exorcisms it gets very confusing. Near the end it introduces a paranormal research team who did one of the first “paranormal shows” for ABC. I have no idea why they were introduced? And then it shows Martin’s last exorcism through the words of a CIA friend but since that friend wasn’t actually present during the exorcism it gets super confusing what he’s talking about.

The two saving graces I will give it are that Lorraine Warren makes a few appearances as she was a good friend of Martin’s. While she doesn’t speak to the documentarians, she is in some of the old footage and you know I love the hell out of her. The second is Ralph Sarchie who I also love. He was the New York cop whose story Deliver us from Evil is loosely based on. He also got his own TV show last year which is so bad that it becomes good again. He speaks frankly and honestly with the camera and I liked hearing his point of view.

What I did like were the little tidbits that we learn about real life exorcisms and some of the quotes from Martin and the church. We’re told about the four signs of a possession that people look for:

• Extraordinary Strength
• Knowledge of ancient language
• Fear of sacred things
• Knowledge of things they couldn’t possibly know about other people

Honestly I wouldn’t recommend this to most people. Unless you have a complete fascination of the paranormal and know a lot of the big guys and gals in the community, you won’t get much from this. Even the exorcism footage they show is not worth it – it’s grainy and blurred and hard to make out.

I obviously believe in ghosts, I’ve spoken a lot about that on this blog before. But I always struggle with demons. I’m not a religious person so I don’t believe in heaven and hell and angels, but for some reason I do believe that demons could possibly exist. Either way, documentaries and shows like this always make me question for hours what to think. Can I believe in demons if I don’t believe in God? Are demons fake? Are exorcisms real, or just mentally ill people being taken advantage of? Ugh. My brain hurts.

I give this a 5/10. Quite boring at some parts and very confusing.

Alrighty, I’ll leave you with that for now. I’m back to the doctors tomorrow and we’ll see what happens with my face. I’m not making any concrete promises on when I’ll be back. Could be tomorrow, could be a week, could be a month. You know me – but one of these days this thing will actually be updated daily and properly. In fact one of my goals this year is to move this blog over to an actual website and set myself with a proper horror website. I’ll be looking for writers to join, but I’ll sort all that out in the summer.

ANYWAY

I’m going to go and figure out some sort of fun challenge to get through all these movies on my to-watch list and hopefully not die from the lump in my face.

Stay spooky!

Day 17 - Vampires - October Horror Movie Challenge

VAMPIRES (1998)

Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right?

Jack Crow's parents were killed by vampires when he was a kid and he was taken in by the church and raised to be a Master Slayer. Now, as an adult, he works alongside a team of vampire hunters ridding the world of these monsters. After destroying a nest, the team are confused that they couldn't find the Master, who never strays far from a nest. They head back to their motel and begin to party with some hookers and a police officer because this is the 90's and that's what you do. But the Master shows up during the party and destroys basically everyone. He's the most powerful Master Vampire they've ever encountered.

Jack survives along with Tony and they discover one of the prostitutes, Katrina, has been bitten so they take her with them. After 48 hours she will have a psychic connection with the Master and they are going to use her to find him.

But when Jack checks in with his boss, the Cardinal, he is informed that this Master Vampire is the strongest one ever, his name is Valek. Now Jack, Tony, Katrina, and their newest team member - Father Adam must hunt down Valek and fight for their lives to save the world.

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• The lore was really cool - Valek's story about him being the first vampire was fucking bad ass. And the fact that the church created him by accident was so great. And...inversion exorcism? HELLO?! THAT IS AMAZING!!!
• When Valek destroyed the party it was pretty bad ass. He punched right through a guy!!

What I didn't love?

• The treatment of Katrina in this film...oh my god....I was screaming. She's constantly referred to as a whore, or a bitch. She's tossed around like a rag doll. At one point Tony ties her up naked. Tying her up I'm like...okay she's turning into a violent vampire I'm with you. Tying her up naked? WHY? WTF WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
• Why did they keep shooting the vampires? Bullets don't work, they barely slow them down yet these guys are running away spraying them with bullets and then like...oh fuck...they're still coming after us...errrr YEAHDUH.

 
Overall?
In this western-ish horror movie, Carpenter is really the only saving factor. The acting is sometimes very over the top and cheesey. Which I get is much like westerns but I wasn't fond of it. It's very loosely based on the book Vampire$ which is the worst title ever, but weirdly I still want to read it?

I had fun watching it but I probably won't watch it again. When I finished it I was pumped but now that I'm thinking about it I'm more like mehhhh.

6/10

Stay spooky!

Day 16 - Ravenous - October Horror Movie Challenge

RAVENOUS (1999)

Man eats the flesh of another, he takes the other man's strength, absorbs his spirit. Well. Naturally I just had to try. Consequently I ate the scout first and you know he was absolutely right. I grew stronger...

Captain John Boyd has been awarded a medal for being a war hero in the American-Mexican war in 1847. But he was given this medal with trepidation. To survive the battle, Boyd played dead and was pulled out of the battle buried under the dead bodies of his comrades. Once on the enemy side he was able to capture the leader. But he only got into that situation by being a coward.

They decide to station him at Fort Spencer up in the mountains of California, a post that is purely there to help people passing by and keep an eye on things. The Fort is filled with soldiers including Knox, a drunk, a young religious man named Toffler, a helper named Cleaves, one named Reich and then the colonel looking after everyone - Col. Hart.

As Boyd settles into his new life he is startled one night by the arrival of a stranger named Colqhoun who is badly hurt and frost bitten. He tells the story of his group that were traveling and took a shortcut through the mountains but ended up getting stuck. They hid in a cave to survive the winter storm but ran out of food quickly and began to eat each other. Colqhoun managed to escape but left behind a lady.

The group decide to go out to this cave to see if the lady survived but when they arrive Colqhoun attacks them and kills all of them except for Boyd who escapes. You see, when you eat the flesh of a man, it's believed you turn into a Wendigo, and that's what's happened to Colqhoun.

Boyd manages to get back to his Fort but is shocked when soon after Colqhoun arrives but under the guise of a Colonel Ives and he's now in charge of the Fort.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• Robert Carlyle was terrifying and delivered an outstanding performance as the villain.
• The scenery was beautiful.
• I fucking love the legends of Wendigos so this was right up my alley.
• The line "It's lonely being a cannibal, tough making friends" had me cackling. Please carve that into my tombstone.
• Those fur lined goggles....I would like a pair please.
•  

What I didn't love?

• This doesn't quite count - but the music was very odd. Extremely upbeat in the weirdest places. But I loved it? Like it totally worked.
• Ummm...that final scene with the giant bear trap thing? WHY WAS IT SO BIG? What the fuck is that supposed to trap??? 

 
Overall?

I had no idea what this movie was. It was a total random recommendation and I didn't bother to look into it before I watched it. This was not what I was expecting and I did not know I needed this in my life until I saw it. Cannibals, wendigos, forts, wilderness, beards....yup.

Loosely based on the Donner party incident it tells a believable and terrifying story. I loved every moment of it and am so glad this is in my life now.

10/10

BACK ON TRACK! BOOM! Also survived the storm. Also finally started preparing for my vacation in 13 days. ALSO...one more movie to finish off 90's week and then it's into 2015 week!

Stay spooky!

Day 15 - The Frighteners - October Horror Movie Challenge

THE FRIGHTENERS (1996)

Save your pea brain prattle for the classroom, boy. That was the soul collector and he's been taking people out since time began. He's been going about some dark business here in Fairwater and we ain't nothing but worm bait. When your number's up, that's it...

A mystery heart condition is killing people in the town of Fairwater and the body count is racking up. There's also an old house where an old lady lives with her daughter, Patricia. Patricia was involved in a mass murder back in the day where killer Johnny Bartlett killed 12 people in a hospital.

Dr Lucy Lynskey has moved to this town recently with her husband Ray and one day Frank, the local town psychic investigator gets distracted and drives onto their lawn, destroying their fence. Soon after they experience a haunting with their bed levitating and dishes being thrown around. They're left with no choice but to call Frank to help them. He says he will if they call it even for the fence. He gets rid of the ghosts and then leaves them.

Back at Frank's half built house we realize he can see ghosts and has three of them that work with him; The Judge, Cyrus and Stuart. They play a con game where they haunt houses and then Frank goes and charges a tone to fix it. He needs $15K to save his house but after the newspaper publishes a damning article about him he finds himself out of work.

Then Ray dies and Lucy reaches out to Frank to talk to him for her. They meet at a restaurant and Frank, who can see Ray, relays the conversation for Lucy. After Ray gets mad and spills a drink all over Frank, he heads to the bathroom where he sees an old man die, killed by a nasty spirit who pulls the life right out of him.

So now it's up to Frank to save the town - who is this terrifying spirit? And how is Patricia involved? And why does Frank keep seeing numbers on peoples foreheads?

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• It's directed by Peter Jackson who is a god send and does a great job with this film. It's also written by him and Fran Walsh (I LOVE YOU FRAN) and you can really see their sense of humor shine.
• The FBI agent - Milton Dammers is so fucking weird and creepy and hilarious. He's spent his entire career being forced to go under cover in all of the most fucked up cults.
• Patricia's backstory with Bartlett was so clever and I didn't see it coming. I'm a sucker for a bunch of murderous looney tunes in love.
• The ghosts are hilarious!
• Most of the effects hold up pretty well in a ghostbusters kind of way.

What I didn't love?

• I watched the directors cut so it actually kind of dragged on way too long in some parts. 

Overall?

I've never seen this one before but I really loved it. Just a classic goofy ghost story with some great one liners and murder thrown in. Michael J. Fox unsurprisingly nails his role and is a delight to watch although sadly this was his last leading role in a movie. Dee Wallace was also stunning!

It's just a fun Halloween type movie and I luuuurved it.

8/10

Alright, one more movie to watch today and then I should be back on schedule!

Stay spooky!

Day 14 - Idle Hands - October Horror Movie Challenge

IDLE HANDS (1999)

Everybody go home, there's a psycho killer here! I cut off my hand, and now it's gonna kill you all! 

An older couple are going to bed when they see a threatening message on the ceiling and hear noises downstairs. The husband goes down and checks but never returns. The wife follows suit and is viciously murdered.

The next morning their son, Anton, awakes knowing none the wiser because he's a a stereotypical stoner teen. He goes about his day eating cereal, smoking weed and visiting with his two best friends; Mick and Pnub. Across the street from Mick lives Anton's crush, Molly, but he's always too nervous to talk to her. But when Anton sees her drop her journal he sees it as his chance to talk to her. It goes horribly.

Anton returns home and finally discovers the dead bodies of his parents. His best friends show up and are freaked out. They find a piece of a t-shirt in the mother's dead hand and it matches a rip in Anton's t-shirt. They then find the word "Ant" written in blood. Mick attempts to call the police but Anton kills him. Soon after he kills Pnub.

But he doesn't want to. It's his hand. It's possessed by a demon.

Meanwhile Debi, a supernatural hunter is tracking this demon and is on her way to find the latest victim. And while Anton struggles to gain control of his murdering hand, his best friends come back to life as zombies and the three of them try to figure out what to do.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• Debi is amazing and drives around in a trailer hunting demons and has a pet crow. Soooo....goals.
• There's some awesome jump scares in this movie that are super fun.
• It's a hilarious movie. There's so many great scenes and quotes and it's an absolute blast to watch. "As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day."
• The sandwich scene where Anton is using a bloody knife without realizing is sooooo gross.
• When Anton is scared there's a killer in the house - the scenes with his dog are hilarious. Especially when he's lurking around the house and pushing his dog in front of him.
• The special effects in this movie are fucking bad ass and hold up so incredibly well considering this movie was made almost 20 years ago.

What I didn't love?

• Nothing...it's hilarious.

Overall?
I actually remember watching this in the early 2000's and I loved it, and here I am in my late twenties loving it just as much as I did back then. It's so well written, directed and acted. Seth Green is a power house in this film and Devon Sawa kills it. Again, the effects are completely spot on and the hand was actually done by Christopher Hart who did the same hand in the Addams Family in 1991.

Weirdly enough, like the last movie, this one was delayed because of a crime as well - in this case it was the Columbine massacre.

Idle Hands is an awesome movie that just gets better with time and is a showcase of everything that was great about horror movies in the 90's.

10/10

Alright, I'm not going to get to the third movie tonight. I've gotten distracted by the fact that I never watched the CBS special on Jonbenet Ramsey so I'm gonna go watch the like 3 hours of that.

See you tomorrow!
Stay spooky!

Day 13 - The Good Son - October Horror Movie Challenge

THE GOOD SON (1993)

I'm leaving you now so I never have to leave you again....2 weeks, could be less...

Mark is a young boy who has just lost his mother to cancer. His father has a business trip for two weeks to Tokyo but he doesn't want to leave his son during the grieving process. The father's brother convinces him to go because this Tokyo deal would cement his future and would able him to provide for Mark fully. The uncle offers to take Mark for the two weeks and the father agrees.

Mark is dropped off with his uncle and moves in. The uncle has a wife and two kids; a young girl named Connie and a son the same age as Mark, Henry.

The two boys are off to a strong start and are playing well. Henry shows Mark his tree house and his shed where he is building a cross bow. He takes him around the town and shows him all the best spots to play in. Mark fits in with the family well and enjoys a special bond with Connie and her mother.

But soon Mark begins to worry about Henry and how strange the boy is. Henry is obsessed with death and his reactions to situations are incredibly bizarre. And after Henry kills a dog and makes Mark help him dump the body, and then Mark finds out about Henry's younger brother Richard who died in a bathtub mysteriously....Mark begins to worry for his safety. But who will believe a young boy?

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• Incredible acting chops on display from a young Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin. I'm a massive Elijah Wood supporter, mainly because FRODO and also he's such a cheerleader for the horror genre.
• Beautiful scenery - I love Maine purely because of Stephen King. This amazing house right on the ocean is my goddamn dream. If only it was also haunted. And maybe Stephen was my neighbor.
• The scene where they throw a fake body off of a bridge and cause this massive accident was so fucking crazy!!!!!! "I feel sorry for you Mark, you just don't know how to have fun."
• Also I'm obsessed with Henry keeping cigarettes in a well in a graveyard, like...did they take that scene from my own childhood?!
• THAT ENDING....so fucking well done, so shocking, so unexpected. A goddamn Sophie's choice.

What I didn't love?

• Those parents were so oblivious. I mean Henry was NUTS and they were blind to it all. And Mark comes to them to tell them Connie's accident wasn't an accident and gets SLAPPED? Come on. Delusional. And when the mom finally goes into Henry's shed and completely ignores the doll hanging from a noose but instead gets upset by the rubber duck. I MEAN.

Overall?
Guys, I've fallen behind. I'm two days behind schedule. BUT DON'T FEAR! There's a massive storm covering our city right now, the final after two previous ones so I have locked the doors and windows and am watching all three horror movies today to get caught back up! But I'll also be posting a few times today sooooooo that's my bad.

Frankly, I loved this movie. It's a great little sleeper. Ya'll know I hate children but this movie was so great and I wasn't irritated once by the children. The little girl Connie...I spent the whole movie fascinated by how much she looked like Culkin and I was like props to the casting department. But I've just learned that Connie was played by Quinn Culkin. Sooooo.....that's on me. Side not; how many fucking Culkin kids are there?! Actually I just googled to find that out and instead got distracted by the fact that Quinn is actually dead. She died in 2008 in a car accident. Jessssussss.

Alright, let's get back to the movie. It's great! It's a shame more people don't know about this movie because it's truly creepy and well done. But when this movie was planned to be released the absolutely tragic James Bulger case happened and this movie was sent straight to video.

I loved it!

7/10

Alright, I'm gonna get back to the next two movies and continue on in the 90's themed week. Unless my power goes out which is possible because this storm is nuts and my lights keep flickering. Wish me luck!

Stay spooky!

Day 11 - Candyman - October Horror Movie Challenge

CANDYMAN (1992)

They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What's blood for if not for shedding? With my hook for a hand, I'll split you from your groin to your gullet. I came for you.

(There will be major spoilers so skip if you don't want to be spoiled)

Helen is working on her thesis with Bernadette about urban legends. Her husband is a teacher at the university who teaches the same theme. The two girls are focusing on a legend about Candyman who supposedly can be summoned by saying his name 5 times into a mirror. He will then arrive with a hook for a hand and kill you. Bernadette and Helen try this one night, but nothing happens.

While investigating she gets a lead about the Cabrini-Green housing project where a woman named Ruthie Jean was murdered by Candyman. The two girls go and investigate and are harassed by a gang. They manage to find the apartment where Ruthie was murdered and inside they find that behind the bathroom mirror is a hole that leads to the next apartment. Inside is some creepy art that suggests the Candyman was there.

When leaving they run into Ruthie Jeans' neighbor, Anne-Marie who speaks more about the Candyman legend and heard Ruthie Jeans murder.

At dinner, Professor Philip Purcell shares the origin of Candyman which is that he was the son of a slave who developed a system for mass-producing shoes during the Civil War and became prosperous. Candyman grew up to become a well-known artist and was sought after. He falls in love with a white woman and gets her pregnant and is soon chased down by a lynch mob for doing so. They cut off his hand and replace it with a hook, then cover him with honey and let bees sting him to death. As you do. His body was burned and his ashes were scattered where the Cabrini-Green now stands.

Helen returns to the projects and meets a little boy named Jake who shares with her more information about Candyman and shows her a public bathroom where Candyman reportedly killed a young boy. When Helen is investigating, the gang returns and beats her up, telling her they are the Candyman.

When she is released from the police station, the gang member caught, she feels like she's finally solved the mystery of Candyman but in the parking lot she is approached by the real Candyman who hypnotizes her.

Helen wakes up in a pool of blood in Anne-Marie's apartment, her dog has been murdered and her baby is missing....was it really Helen that committed these crimes? Or is the Candyman real and using her to prove it?

Alright...so what did I love about this movie?

• So I've only seen bits and pieces of this movie before and finally getting to sit down and watch the whole thing was mind blowing. It was amazing!
• This is a movie you can really sink your teeth into, with so much imagery and deep plot, you need to watch it a few times just to experience everything.
• I loved the scene where Helen came back to her apartment after escaping from the mental hospital to find her husband has already moved in his young student he's having an affair with. Helen just goes nuts on them and is terrifying them and I'm like YASSSS.
• The final fire scene was epic and I was screaming for Helen to get out of there. And her funeral scene was very emotional too.
• ALSO - the very final scene where she shows up and murders her husband. The ending of this movie was SO GOOD.

What I didn't love?

• I LOVED IT ALL!

Overall?

This was such a great movie and I can't wait to watch it again! Reading up on the making of this movie was almost as fascinating as the movie itself. For the famous bee scene they bred bees specifically and Virginia Madsen who was allergic to bees had to have an ambulance nearby just in case.

The Cabrini-Green projects are real and production actually filmed a few days there but had to make a deal with the ruling gang to allow it to happen. They agreed to put them in the film. But even with that arrangement in place, a sniper bullet went through the van on the final day of location filming.

The reveal of the medicine cabinets having a design flaw behind them and allowing people to get from one apartment to another is actually a real design flaw that has happened and a series of murders were committed this way in real life. Which means I will forever be terrified of medicine cabinets.

This movie was hauntingly beautiful, dreamy, and nightmarish and I loved every moment of it!

9/10

Stay Spooky!

Serial Mom - 1994 and why have I put off this classic for so long?!

Hey guys! I'm back!
Sorry for the delay there. To be completely honest I got a little freaked out. Blog shy, if you will. I always assume no one reads this thing, which is totally fine, I made it for myself to be able to talk about the movies I love and keep track of what I've watched. Because if you're a horror fan, you are constantly getting people asking you for recommendations and I sort of lose track along the way of how many horror movies I've watched. And of course your opinion changes over time. You sort of get beer goggles about them. You watch one and you're like holy fuck that was awful, then 6 months later you're like, it wasn't that bad, then a year later you're like that movie was SO GREAT. Then you re-watch it and you're like....wtf was I thinking?

Anyway, point is - I get like 20 - 40 views a day depending on what I post. Which I always assume are accidental clicks or pity clicks from my friends. But my last post got over 800 views and I panicked. What happens if people actually read this thing?!?! Luckily the out pour of love I received was really comforting but I really had to take a few days to be like whaaaaaaattttttttt.

BUT I'M BACK!

And I watched Serial Mom...let's talk about it!

SERIAL MOM (1994)

The only "serial" I know anything about is Rice Krispies. 

Well this movie was a fucking delight! Written and directed by the incredible John Waters it stars Kathleen Turner as Serial Mom herself, Sam Waterston as her doting husband, a very young Ricki Lake as the daughter and an also very young Matthew Lillard in his first movie role. There's also a tone of great guest stars like Patty Hearst, Joan Rives and Suzanne Somers. 

It follows the story of Beverly, the perfect mom and housewife who holds a deep secret - she's a serial killer. You see, Beverly likes things a certain way and believes in following strict rules like no gum in the house, and not using the "brown word" aka shit. So when people break these rules, or upset her children....well...she delivers justice.

This film is absolutely hilarious as it all unfolds, introducing amazing character after amazing character like the nosy neighbor, the divorcee who Beverly harasses for fun by sending threatening messages, and my favorites - the two rowdy garbage guys.

It's a great story that sort of thumbs its' nose at the hysteria around people who are fascinated with true crime and horror. And of course the hysteria itself that happens when there's a big "shocking" murder. The scenes are colorful and completely over done that gives it this very sanitized fantasy type feel to it. The only thing I wish was that when the killings happened they were far more gory. I feel like that would've been such a hilarious contrast against the stark set pieces.

I love Lillard's character, a horror movie obsessed teen, who when faced with the fact his mom is a serial killer decides to sell her life rights to make a tv show. In fact the whole family's reaction is hilarious and insane. In the end when Beverly walks free, there's a moment where the family look at each other like....well fuck, we know she killed these people, but we have to support her soooooo let's just not piss her off for awhile?

Lillard did a fantastic job for his first movie. And Kathleen Turner just completely knocks it out of the park. She never gets too crazy, she dances along that line of psycho to the point where you don't want her to go to jail and you're rooting for her. You start to justify all her killings. Beverly is an awesome character.

Serial Mom is a joy to watch and I can't believe I waited this long to watch it!!!!

Till next time...
Stay spooky!

I Know What You Did Last Weekend....and it wasn't great...

Hey everyone! Despite the never ending tooth pain I dealt with this weekend which meant no sleep and no food...I ended up having a good weekend otherwise. Just smile and cry through the pain ya'll. Not only did I watch some great horror movies, I picked up some great horror stuurrrff:

Preacher Book One - I want to read the comics before watching the show. And N0S4A2 which is the only Joe Hill book I haven't read yet.

The gorgeous director's cut of Zodiac on blu-ray. The special features includes three documentaries!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's everything I want out of special features. And how beautiful is that cover?!

And I found this gorgeous War of the Worlds record in my alley. It's moving in/out weekend in our apartment building and the surrounding ones so everyone's just dumping their stuff. We also got a good as new TV stand and a rocking chair so I can live Psycho realness.

Anyway, the reason I'm actually here is to talk about a 90's slasher classic:

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

"Listen, you little shit-stick-mayberry-ass reject. There's been a murder, and you are going to fry in hell if you ignore it!"

Coming out in 1997, I Know What You Did Last Summer was one of the last great slasher's that came out of the 90's. It's based off of the young adult novel by the same name, written by Lois Duncan. It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, and Freddie Prinze Jr in the lead roles. All four of them were massive stars in the 90's and that just shows how prominent horror was in that decade. The screenplay was written by the same guy who wrote Scream, Kevin Williamson, and was directed by Jim Gillespie

There was a terrible sequel a year later, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, but we're not here to talk about that.

IKWYDLS tells the story of four high-school seniors who are celebrating the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. After a rowdy party and a get together at the beach, the four of them pile into Barry's car (Phillipe). While driving down a twisted road and all screaming and partying, they hit a person. Julie (Hewitt) thinks they should call the cops but Ray (Prinze), Helen (Gellar) and Barry come to the conclusion that hiding it would be much easier. So the teens dump the body in the ocean and begin to move on with their lives.

One year later, Julie arrives home for summer from her college and finds a threatening note that reads....you guessed it..."I know what you did last summer". The four friends have to band together despite everything and try and solve the mystery of who it is they apparently didn't kill, while people around them begin to get killed one by one.

This was a staples of the 90's. I remember watching it at like 13 years old and just being so terrified and loving every moment of it. But unfortunately, for me, it doesn't hold up. Scream will always hold up for me and is fun to watch no matter what. But as this was my first time watching IKWYDLS in probably ten years or so, I was looking at it with fresh eyes. I couldn't remember who the killer was or really much of the story. I found myself getting quite bored. There's also not as many kills in the film as I remember, and the story of the killer and who they are is kind of garbage? If you really think about it, it doesn't make too much sense.

The kills themselves are fun, the weapon of choice is a fish hook so there's lots of gutting. And there's lots of those fun moments where you're yelling at the screen...DON'T GO IN THERE YOU IDIOT or JUST JUMP OVERBOARD YOU WEIRDO...etc.

I think the only reason I like this movie is because I have fond memories of watching it in my basement as a kid, with the lights off, getting super freaked out.

I would say....watch it if you haven't. But if you have fond memories of watching it in the 90's....don't re-watch it.

Alright, I'm off to go bury myself in blankets and cry about tooth pain and how I can't just eat a giant bag of chips. I've got a big pile of DVD's sitting by my TV and a few on my desktop to get to. Reviews to come!

Stay spooky!