Exorcisms, Demons and Priests, Oh My! Double Bill!

I’ve got a double bill review for you today! Also this is my 200th post! HOORAY! I’ve bored you 200 times already….

Quick update on my own life since I know ya’ll are waiting patiently to hear about my gypsy cursed life. That’s why you really read this right? HA!

I had surgery last week on my face and got the lump removed, only they weren’t able to remove it all. So they stitched it up and tomorrow night I have to go get steroids injected into the wound and hopefully that kills the rest of it. If it doesn’t, I’m off for more surgery! That twin I absorbed in utero is really hanging on! Jokes aside, I’m really stressed about it and scared. BUT that’s why horror movies are so great because when I watch them they make me forget about my trivial panics and think, well at least I’m not being chased by nazi zombies in the snow!

So I laid out my “to-watch” horror movie list in a nice and organized way and then completely freaked out because there’s 44 movies on there, and that’s not including the ones coming out this year.

I think I need to sort out another challenge for myself because that’s when I actually carve out the time to watch horror movies properly. I organized my movies into decades. Maybe I could do like an early 2000’s themed week? I’ll figure it out.

BUT…this week I did watch a double bill of my own choosing:
The Exorcist 3 and Hostage to the Devil.
So without further ado – let’s jump right in!

THE EXORCIST 3 (1990)

Well, there I was so awfully dead in that electric chair. I didn't like it. Would you? It's upsetting. There was still so much killing to do, and there I was, in the void, without a body.

Written and directed by William Peter Blatty (RIP) it is based on his book, Legion. Blatty of course brought us the original The Exorcist novel which is an amazing piece of horror fiction that I highly recommend. I haven’t read Legion yet but have it on order.

It stars George C. Scott, returning as Detective Kinderman, Ed Flanders, returning as Father Dyer, and Brad Dourif. It takes place 17 years after the events of The Exorcist and starts off with a traumatic murder of a priest and a young boy. Kinderman is on the case and is starting to think it may be the work of the Gemini Killer (who is based off of the Zodiac killer) which is impossible…the Gemini Killer should be dead!

What I loved most about this movie was the caring, loving relationship between Dyer and Kinderman. The two old men who have seen some shit together, are tender and loving to each other and banter back and forth about old movies and tease each other. But Dyer is put into the hospital and shortly after killed. The aftermath of Dyer’s death is so freaky, leaving a lot to the imagination. There’s little cups of blood all around the room that have somehow been drained from Dyer’s body without making a mess and painted on the wall in his blood is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. George C. Scott is triumphant in this movie and when he switches from calm to absolute rage, it’s an amazing thing to watch.

Kinderman’s investigation takes a strange turn for the worse when he discovers a patient in the hospital who looks like Father Karras who died at the end of the first movie. Dourif’s portrayal of Karras/the Gemini Killer is wonderful. Dourif is such a force to be reckoned with.

This is a character driven piece with lots of monologues and quiet moments. But when the horror hits, it hits fucking hard. Of course, this movie is known for its famous horrific scene with the nurse in the hallway. And even though I knew it was coming I still jumped like a lunatic and it gave me goosebumps. It’s the perfect buildup of tension that creates the paranoia in you as your eyes roam back and forth across the screen, wondering when and where it will come.

The Exorcist 3 is a wonderful, horrific, dreamy film that holds its punches until you can’t take it anymore and then smacks you upside the head. I adore it and can’t wait to watch it again. And I’m also angry I took so long to watch it.

10/10

HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL (2017)

The devil does exist, he really is out there, he is our enemy and he hates us.

Next up I watched the documentary Hostage to the Devil. I have read the book that Malachi Martin wrote which this documentary takes it name from a year or so ago and found it enjoyable but boring in some parts.

The documentary tells the life story of Father Martin, an Irish Catholic priest and writer. During his life he was heavily involved in the preparations of the Second Vatican Council before starting to disagree with the reforms. He asked to be released and moved to New York where he wrote 17 novels that oftentimes were critical of the Catholic Church. A lot of his work was focused on exorcisms and the existence of demons. After his “mysterious” death, friends and disbelievers come together in this documentary to explore his life and memory and to relive the exorcisms he performed during his long career.

Unfortunately this documentary spends most of its time having Martin’s friends and family talk about how charismatic he was and when the film does finally focus on the exorcisms it gets very confusing. Near the end it introduces a paranormal research team who did one of the first “paranormal shows” for ABC. I have no idea why they were introduced? And then it shows Martin’s last exorcism through the words of a CIA friend but since that friend wasn’t actually present during the exorcism it gets super confusing what he’s talking about.

The two saving graces I will give it are that Lorraine Warren makes a few appearances as she was a good friend of Martin’s. While she doesn’t speak to the documentarians, she is in some of the old footage and you know I love the hell out of her. The second is Ralph Sarchie who I also love. He was the New York cop whose story Deliver us from Evil is loosely based on. He also got his own TV show last year which is so bad that it becomes good again. He speaks frankly and honestly with the camera and I liked hearing his point of view.

What I did like were the little tidbits that we learn about real life exorcisms and some of the quotes from Martin and the church. We’re told about the four signs of a possession that people look for:

• Extraordinary Strength
• Knowledge of ancient language
• Fear of sacred things
• Knowledge of things they couldn’t possibly know about other people

Honestly I wouldn’t recommend this to most people. Unless you have a complete fascination of the paranormal and know a lot of the big guys and gals in the community, you won’t get much from this. Even the exorcism footage they show is not worth it – it’s grainy and blurred and hard to make out.

I obviously believe in ghosts, I’ve spoken a lot about that on this blog before. But I always struggle with demons. I’m not a religious person so I don’t believe in heaven and hell and angels, but for some reason I do believe that demons could possibly exist. Either way, documentaries and shows like this always make me question for hours what to think. Can I believe in demons if I don’t believe in God? Are demons fake? Are exorcisms real, or just mentally ill people being taken advantage of? Ugh. My brain hurts.

I give this a 5/10. Quite boring at some parts and very confusing.

Alrighty, I’ll leave you with that for now. I’m back to the doctors tomorrow and we’ll see what happens with my face. I’m not making any concrete promises on when I’ll be back. Could be tomorrow, could be a week, could be a month. You know me – but one of these days this thing will actually be updated daily and properly. In fact one of my goals this year is to move this blog over to an actual website and set myself with a proper horror website. I’ll be looking for writers to join, but I’ll sort all that out in the summer.

ANYWAY

I’m going to go and figure out some sort of fun challenge to get through all these movies on my to-watch list and hopefully not die from the lump in my face.

Stay spooky!

The Rocky Clown Exorcist Show - I'd watch it?

Hello fellow spooks,

Friday the 13th has come and gone. Sadly, the only one we get this year. I spent mine on the couch watching Red Dragon and reading Hannibal (I'm going through a Hannibal phase...again). I also watched Silence of the Lambs and got emotional about how perfect that film is. I re-watched Texas Chainsaw (no massacre) and hated it even more than the first two times. So I should probably stop watching it. I've got some horror movies geared up to watch and blog about, so bare with me. I did just pick up Joe Hill's new book The Fireman so I kind of just want to do nothing but read that right now.

But I'll break the silence with a bit of horror news:

Insidious 4 announced!

Insidious 4 will be hitting theaters October 2017 which feels like a really long time from now? But still exciting. Lin Shaye will be back as our favorite parapsychologist Elaine Rainer. Leigh Whannell will write the film with Jason Blum and James Wan in the producer seats. It will be directed by Adam Robitel who made the great film The Taking of Deborah Logan. Which makes me want to re-watch that and do a post about it because it was pretty phenomenal.

Honestly, I'm thrilled. Unlike Sinister, Insidious has managed to maintain a good story line throughout with some genuine scares. Of course, none of the sequels/prequels come close to the original but they're still a lot of fun and I'm not sick of it yet. So keep them coming!

Check out my review of Insidious 3 here

(also side note - don't google 'insidious fan art'...there's some weird shit down that rabbit hole)

Don't Breathe!

A trailer has dropped for the new film that we've been hearing about for AGES; Don't Breathe. It's released on August 26th and tells the story of three teenagers who break into a home of a blind man who supposedly has a lot of money hidden away. But the blind man turns out to be a bit of a psychopath and they find themselves locked inside the house trying to escape with their lives.

It's produced by Sam Raimi, who of course brought us Evil Dead, and stars Jane Levy, Daniel Zovatto, Stephen Lang, and Dylan Minnette.

Watch the trailer here but heads up they show A LOT of the film in there so if you don't want to be spoiled by another horror movie trailer who can't tell subtly from their own ass, don't watch it. Just wait for the film.

Clown gets a US release!

If you haven't had the chance to watch Clown yet...DO IT.

Clown was first started as a fake trailer that allegedly got Eli Roth's attention in 2010. Jon Watts uploaded the trailer and pretended Eli Roth was producing it. He ended up getting his wish because Roth decided to go ahead and produce it. And in 2012 the movie was filmed with Jon Watts directing.

Two years ago it was released in Europe but was never given a North American release...until now.

Luckily Dimension Films and Anchor Bay Entertainment swooped in and saved the day and now you'll be able to see it in theaters and on demand on June 17th.

I will definitely be going to see it in theaters as the copy I watched was not legal and was a little blurry. But from what I could squint at I LOVED IT. And I mean, ya'll know I'm a Roth fan so take my advice with a grain of salt. But this movie is SO GOOD!!!

The premise is about a father named Andy who puts on a clown suit and makeup to perform for his son's birthday but of course, the suit he rented came from a creepy guy and so when Andy tries to take the suit and makeup off...it doesn't come. He's stuck within the clown suit. His personality also slowly begins to change and Andy must try to break the curse of the suit to be free forever. 

GUY ITS SO GOOD!! There's this one scene that like...ugh...I wanna talk about it so bad but I don't want to spoil it just yet...but let's just say....it blew my mind....
You'll laugh when you see the film. Or you won't...because that's a pretty fucked up scene.

Rocky Horror and The Exorcist!

Fox has released two new trailers today and both of them are important. To me. Mostly, just me.

The first being for their new adaptation of The Exorcist. Watching the trailer, it's not what I expected but I'm still intrigued. I'm super hesitant though. All the horror TV shows I've been excited for lately have been such a flop and I'm worried this might be another...

Watch that here

And The Rocky Horror Picture Show which will be broadcast live on Fox this October!!! I'm INCREDIBLY excited for this. I've watched all the live musicals that TV has been giving us these past few years but this one....THIS ONE. They describe it as a "re-imagining" though which is basically code for "don't be mad at us, we made a lot of changes". It will be directed by Kenny Ortega and has Laverne Cox in the lead role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter...WE ARE NOT WORTHY YA'LL.

Oh, AND Tim Curry will be in it!!!!!!!!!

Watch it here

Alright that's it for this time! Till the next...

Stay spooky~!

the exorcist that haunted a maze.....idk...titles are the worst

Allergy season has arrived. I had three months of glorious snot free fun but it's all over and the hell begins. Which means spring is here - rain and sun alternatively every 5 minutes for an entire month, and all the pollen you could dream of. And that means I stay indoors, more than usual, and read a lot of books while ignoring the sun streaming through the window, and watch horror movies. So this post is brought to you by pollen - an introverts great excuse to not "hang out" for 9 months. 

What I've been reading lately:

aka I'm on a good book roll and I'm gonna brag about it

The Exorcist

First of all...wtf is on the cover? This is the exact cover I have and every time I put the book down I would just stare uselessly at the cover going WHAT IS IT?! WHY IS THIS THE PHOTO THEY CHOSE?
Second of all....I've owned this book for six years and am livid with myself for not reading it six years ago.
I'm not going to explain the plot to you because you must've been living under a rock not to have heard about it. Young girl gets possessed - says some crazy shit - girl gets an exorcism - people die - everything's fine.
As phenomenal as the movie is, the book is even better. Especially the scenes where the adults view Regan, it's honestly horrifying and disgusting and captures the imagination in the worst ways. You become attached to the priests a lot more in the book, and the background characters are far more developed and lovable. I highly recommend reading unless you are currently possessed in which case maybe you shouldn't because you might get ideas.

Also on goodreads if you go to the page for this book, someone asked the question "is it scary, i'm going to read it to my 5 year old?" and I'm not entirely convinced that I didn't write it from the future.

The Maze Runner - series

A young adult series! So original!
But seriously, every fucking YA book I pick up and read seems to magically have 6 or 7 other books that follow it. Why can't ya'll just write one nowadays? Do young adults need 1000 book long series to fully understand what's happening?
BUT the Maze Runner and it's companions were actually super fun and one of the rare times I even bothered with an entire series (except a song of ice and fire - love you boo). They're also super quick reads because they are incredibly suspenseful and I may have stubbed my toes multiple times while reading and walking.
It's a post apocalyptic world...stay with me...where a disease released by the CDC has wiped out most of humanity....stay with me....and to find the cure they locked up a bunch of kids in a giant maze and made them try to survive....see? it was worth staying with me.
The maze is only in the first book but the kids continue on through trials and distrust and death and although I never fully understood the scientists logic, I bought it.
It's also a movie now! Which I watched half of before wandering off somewhere else. I'm determined to re-watch though.
Warning....there are only two female characters. Which kinda super sucks.

I Am Haunted

Ya'll know I love me some Ghost Adventures. It's probably one of my favorite TV shows and I believe every single second of it and I even watch all the spinoffs like Aftershocks and that one where other groups investigated while Zak looked gorgeous and paced back and forth judging them.
This is Zak's second jump into writing and I devoured his first book in about two days. The first one is more about how Ghost Adventures started, the science behind the paranormal, and some really interesting theories on residual spirits.
This one is more about the effects of ghost investigating, some personal tidbits about life after the success of the show, and lots of juicy details about Zak's purchase of, and future documentary about, the demon house.
This book is basically only for people who give a shit about Ghost Adventures. The first one is way better to recommend to up and coming paranormal enthusiasts, but this is just straight up beautiful self indulgent Zak-ness. 

I am currently devouring The Silence of the Lambs. I started it yesterday morning and have barely been able to put it down since.

GO READ BOOKS YA FILTHY ANIMALS