Little Evil - Netflix original

LITTLE EVIL 2017

The new Netflix original horror comedy came to our screens last week and last night I sat down to watch it. Let's talk about it!

Written and directed by Eli Craig (Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil) Little Evil has an incredible cast including Adam Scott, Evangeline Lilly, Donald Faison and Chris D'Elia.


Gary is recently married and moving in with his new wife and his new stepson, Lucas. But something is wrong with Lucas....like seriously wrong. In fact, he may just be the antichrist.

Very much like Craig's film, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, this story is a satire. We all know parenthood is a disaster on its' own, but Gary is essentially struggling with Satan for custody over his new stepson which creates a lot of hilarious moments. There's a lot of great horror nods - The Shining, Poltergeist, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby etc. And some really hilarious setups, my personal favorite being when Gary is forced to join a stepdad support group and all of the other dads are sharing their "evil kid" stories which sound very similar to Lucas, except for the minor detail that Lucas is being controlled by the Devil.

Most of the film relies on Adam Scott to pull this wacky story off without becoming too much of a joke of itself. Luckily Adam Scott is incredible at what he does, playing off that dead pan humor like its' the easiest thing in the world. He shows enough drama and emotion in the more serious parts, but can pull us easily out of a scene in the best way with one raise of an eyebrow. Owen Atlas plays Lucas and does a really stand out job of playing that Damien style horror. Without many words he can stare you down through the camera and creep you the fuck out. Evangeline Lilly plays her character very well with that undying love of a mother who can't see that anything is wrong with her child, because as she says many times, "it is never the child's fault."


The horror elements while fun and campy, never actually hit that true satisfying horror moment so this is absolutely more comedy than horror.  And the ending for me personally felt a little too cheesy, but I'm not sure how else it could've ended, so I won't complain too much.

Overall it was super entertaining - I had a few laugh out loud moments and enjoyed spotting all the horror movie nods.

7/10

Stay Spooky!

DEATH NOTE - Adam Wingard knocks another one out of the park!

Death Note is officially out on Netflix and last night I watched it. Let's talk about it!

 DEATH NOTE 2017

It's like you said, sometimes you gotta choose the lesser of the two evils. 

Directed by Adam Wingard (You're Next, The Guest, Blair Witch) Death Note is a Netflix original film and is based on the manga series by the same name. The series was written by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. I've read the manga series and it's INCREDIBLE but for this review I'm going to just review this as a stand alone story and not compare it. It's an adaptation and I'm over just nit picking adaptations for missing every little detail. So I'm going to look at this film as a separate entity.

Death Note is a simple premise with a lot of complex rules - set in Seattle, high school student Light finds a notebook with the words "Death Note" engraved on the front. As he picks it up a Death God named Ryuk appears and explains to Light that if he writes the name of someone in the book and a way of death, that person will die. He encourages Light to put in a school bully's name and Light watches horrified as that kid is suddenly decapitated.

At first, Light is terrified by the book and Ryuk, but when he puts the name of the man who killed his Mom in it and realizes the true power this book could wield, he quickly changes his tone. Soon he teams up with a classmate named Mia and the two of them start killing off bad guys left and right, leaving the name Kira in their wake. Soon the world comes to idolize Kira and sees him as an all powerful god of justice. But not everyone likes what this Kira guy is doing, and soon the police and a mysterious detective who goes by L are on Light's trail.

This is a solid cast - Nat Wolff plays Light and does a pretty decent job of handling the high powered emotions that this character goes through. Margaret Qualley stole my heart with her portrayal of Mia. Mia is a very complex and psychotic character and Margaret made it incredibly believable. Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out) played L and OH MY GOD WAS HE AMAZING?!?! L is such a cool character - he has no family, has been trained since he was a child to be the best detective in the world, and lives off of candy. He really stole the show.

What did I like about it?

• I loved Ryuk, voiced by Willem Dafoe. I loved that they kept him to the shadows and never ruined your perception of him by CG-ing the hell out of him in the daylight. He's always just off to the side, or with his back facing and he's so incredibly evil and well done.
• The final showdown was really great and super confusing but in the best way. At the very end when it all unravels you're just like holy shit and your mind is blown.
• The movie looks SO cool - the scenery, the coloring, the death note, the characters, the shots, the music!!!!!!!! Solid all the way around.
• It moves quickly - there's no fucking around. Within the first half hour you know the entire story and quickly find yourself in a cat and mouse chase. In some parts I do wish it could've been extended, get a little more story, but I'm not going to complain that a movie isn't three hours long. This is a solid running time and you don't feel cheated.
• Wingard's black humor is prominent in this film and I like that. Some moments felt very Final Destination like which made me SO happy!
• It's surprisingly very gory - again giving me Final Destination vibes.
• I only wish we got to see more of Montauk because that was an incredible couple of scenes.

Overall

Death Note may not be perfect, but it's a hell of a ride and I'll definitely watch it again and again!

9/10

Stay Spooky!

XX - amazing female driven anthology

Stating the obvious - but XX was fucking awesome! Let's talk about it!

XX  2017

Released this year, XX is a horror anthology created entirely by women - each short was written and directed by females and each short follows one woman's journey touching on motherhood, being a wife, and being the odd one out. This movie is a milestone and something I think we should all be proud of for having out in the world. Quite frankly, there's a lot of anthologies out there and XX is a lot better than most of the male-dominated ones. I really hope they re-visit this and do another highlighting more women directors and writers.

The Box:

Written and directed by Jovanka Vuckovic, this short is based on the shorty story by Jack Ketchum. A family is riding the subway when the young boy asks a stranger next to him what's in the present sitting on his lap. It's a red box with a bow on top. The stranger shows him and from that point on the young boy refuses to eat and starts wasting away. When asked what was in the box, he responds nothing. It soon starts to spread to the rest of the family as they slowly starve to death.

The vibe of this short is incredible - it builds this sense of dread that sits with you long after it's finished. I'm seeing a lot of people not loving the pay off at the end, but I didn't mind it. I like that whole leaving it up to your imagination situation. It reminded me quite a bit of the ending to the original Martyrs.

There was one particular sequence which was a dream moment where I actually audibly gasped because it was so shocking and outside of what the short was doing. It was really great.

8/10

  
The Birthday Party:

This one was my personal favorite - written by Roxanne Benjamin and Annie Clark, and directed by Annie Clark. It is one morning in the life of Mary, a wealthy suburban mom who has a seemingly perfect life - money, nice house, one beautiful little girl, and a Nanny. But as the short continues on you realize this woman has many anxiety issues and is having trouble coping. Something happens to her husband, but she has a birthday party for her daughter happening so she is forced to cope with the more and more bizarre situations that are arising.

I would love to see this one somehow developed into a full movie because there were so many paths that could've been followed - I was so curious about the Nanny, and the husband, and the strange neighbors. I also loved the coloring of this short. Really well done. Also the reveal at the end of the full title is really hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud a few times in this short - very dark humor.

10/10

Don't Fall:

This was my least favorite - it was by no means awful, or badly done, it just wasn't for me and almost felt a little out of place compared to the other three. Written and directed by Roxanne Benjamin it follows four friends who have found a camp spot in the middle of the desert. They found the spot after bribing a guy at the nearest gas station. When hiking they find a beautiful lookout and on the wall are some sort of creepy cave drawings. That night, back at camp, everything quickly falls apart and we come to realize what those cave drawings were warning us of.

The characters were really fun, I liked all of them immediately. They had some great dynamics and it all felt really natural. The scenery was beautiful, the effects were great, and it felt very wrapped up - beginning, middle, and satisfying end. And honestly, if this short had been in another anthology I think I would've really enjoyed it. But again, compared to the other three, the tone of this didn't fit for me personally.

7/10

Her Only Living Son:

Written and directed by Karyn Kusama, who previously brought us The Invitation, this short plays like a love letter to Rosemary's Baby. A mom is struggling with her teenage son who's acting out in more and more horrific ways. He's about to turn 18 and his Dad is out of the picture. But as the short unravels we start to realize his Dad is not who we think it is, and this young man is going through way more changes than just puberty.

It's a really creepy piece that ends in a shocking, yet satisfying way. There's many things at play here including white male privilege when the Mother is confronted about his actions in the school, and obviously the exploration of coming of age and single motherhood.

Screencrush.com called it Rosemary's Baby fan-fiction and I kind of like that - it's very much a follow up to the book/film and what happens after that final scene when Rosemary is confronted with what she produced.

Although side note - in 1997 Ira Levin put out the sequel to his original, Rosemary's Baby, called Son of Rosemary. While it's nowhere near as amazing as the original, the sequel is a kind of fun, crazy thrill ride - very quick read. Go pick it up!

9/10

In between each short is the connective tissue provided by stop-motion artist Sofia Carrillo who brought some incredibly disturbing and heart breaking images to life. And quite frankly the stop-motion doll parts moving around is the creepiest part of this anthology. She really did an incredible job.

Overall I'm giving XX a solid 9/10, I'll definitely re-visit and recommend, and some of these shorts will stick with me for a long time.


Stay Spooky!

.....and....WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!!!!!!!?!

(I couldn't resist)

The Bye Bye Man is not that bad! (And neither is The Dark Tower)

The Bye Bye Man is not as awful as the critics made it out to be - so let's talk about it!

THE BYE BYE MAN 2017

 Don't think it. Don't say it. Don't think it. Don't say it. Don't think it. Don't say it. Don't think it. Don't say it. Don't think it. Don't say it.

Look, I fell for it too - back when this movie first came out in January, everyone was jumping on the hype train and hating on this movie. So I just went with it and didn't bother to watch it. But over the past few months I've been making a conscious effort to form my own opinions on films and not jump into the circle jerk of it all.

Most recently I saw The Dark Tower in theaters, which is getting destroyed by critics and fans. As readers of this blog will know - I am a MASSIVE Stephen King fan and have read all his books, a lot of them multiple times. I saw The Dark Tower and had a really great time. It's exciting, it's fast paced, the gunslinger scenes are awesome, Idris Elba is a damn powerhouse, and while I wasn't a huge fan of Matthew Mcconaughey, it didn't ruin anything for me.

So please, I'm begging you, King fans and non-King fans, if you've read the books or you haven't, go see The Dark Tower or rent it when it comes out on DVD. It's a super fun, exciting ride and while it's not a perfect (or even close) adaptation, it holds its own.

Anyway, the point of that derail is that I've decided to make a conscious effort to make my own decisions on films - even if they're rated like 5% on RT or whatever, I may still like it!

Which leads me to The Bye Bye Man which recently popped up on Canadian Netflix!

Directed by Stacy Title and written by her husband Jonathan Penner, who was also on one of my favorite seasons of Survivor, the story is based on a chapter from the book The President's Vampire by Robert Damon Schneck. Apparently this book is about real supernatural events that happened in America.

This movie follows three college students who rent a big old house off campus and discover some old coins in an old dresser that then lead them into a terrifying real life nightmare involving someone called The Bye Bye Man.

The film's lead, Elliot, is played by Douglas Smith, who does a great job of slowly sinking into madness. Once he learns the mystery of The Bye Bye Man he realizes that he can't speak it, think it, or say the name or it gives this entity power. His girlfriend, Sasha, is played by Cressida Bonas. While I'm sure she's a wonderful actor, I was actually quite disappointed in Sasha's role in this movie which seemed to be mostly just sleeping a lot and saying maybe three words. The third player is John, Elliot's best friend, played by Lucien Laviscount (who you might recognize from Scream Queens). He did a really good job, and while his character wasn't completely fleshed out, he made it interesting at least.

Carrie-Anne Moss plays the Detective, and she's amazing as always! And Doug Jones plays the Bye Bye Man himself, Jones is of course famous for playing lots of spooky roles like the Ancient in The Strain, the ghost in Crimson Peak, and one of the Gentlemen in the scariest episode of Buffy EVER - Hush. 

The story was twisty and turny and I liked that, the Bye Bye Man plays tricks on those he's haunting, he makes them see things that aren't there. So for a lot of the movie while all is being revealed to you, it's fun to try and figure out what is a trick or not.

The backstory was good too, I like that it kind of leaves it up to you to think about how long the Bye Bye Man has been in existence. We see a lot of flashbacks from 1969 which help pull the story along.

When the Bye Bye Man is finally revealed, it does rely quite heavily on some not so great CG for some of it, but it still does give off a creepy effect. He's very imposing and kind of looks like the fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer. 

Overall I think this movie got a bad rep for nothing. While it isn't ground breaking or anything new, and it does have its' flaws and some not so well thought out characters, it does its' job. For the casual horror viewer I think they would find the jump scares and spooky vibe effective. I wasn't bored once, and I had a great time watching it.

7/10

Stay Spooky! And don't let those critics sway your view!

Wicked Wednesday - Get Out Review

GUYS....I saw Get Out this weekend. AKA I actually left my house and went to the movie theater (which is like a ten minute walk - I'm that lazy). It was amazing. I went at noon on Sunday by myself and there weren't too many people there so I had a whole row to myself to really absorb the movie.

LET'S TALK ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (there will be spoilers but nothing major)

GET OUT 2017

 A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Jordan Peele is a friggin' godsend to the horror genre. Obviously, Peele comes from a comedy background including his hilarious sketch show "Key & Peele" but he's now dropped a goddamn genre hybrid into our laps. Get Out is hilarious but also terrifying, and sometimes this happens in the exact same moment. It's unsettling and leaves a bad taste in your mouth as you go to bed that night. I had some WACKY ass nightmares about falling endlessly through the blackness like Chris does in Get Out. I was also incredibly sick that night and was blacking out every few minutes. BUT EVEN THEN - it stuck with me.

Peele created this movie because he wanted to attempt something not done before or done properly, he refers to it a lot as a social thriller. And it worked - Get Out feels fresh and new and I hope this movie inspires more film makers to be as brave and smart. Obviously he takes a lot of inspiration from some of the greats including Stepford Wives. And to me this movie felt like Stepford Wives meets You're Next. Just go with it. That's what I felt OKAY.

But essentially this film is about that gross feeling you get when you walk into a room and realize you don't belong. This movie takes that classic horror trope of "something is wrong behind those closed doors" and mixes it with a modern, racial edge.

The opening of the movie sets the tone for the rest of the film - a man is walking down a suburban street chatting on the phone about being lost. He hangs up and begins to talk to himself about how freaked out and lost he is even though he's just in a regular suburb. A car passes him playing a terrifying song, and soon stops and begins to follow him. Suddenly this character is taken so quickly and perfectly staged that you feel breathless as we jump into the movie, knowing that the suburbs aren't as safe as they seem. 

Chris, played by Daniel Kaluuya and Rose, his girlfriend, played by Allison Williams are our main characters. Rose has invited Chris to meet her family for the first time. Chris' best friend, a TSA agent played by LilRey Howery named Rod warns him against going but of course, Chris goes anyway.

When Chris and Rose arrive at her parents house (played by Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) things immediately become unsettling. As Chris is taken on a tour of the house it's uncomfortable as Dean, the father, tries much too hard to make Chris feel comfortable and to think he's cool. When the groundskeeper and the housekeeper are introduced, things get even more unsettling and The Stepford Wives vibe comes into play. You know there's something wrong in this house, and so does Chris, but you don't know exactly what. When Rose's brother, Jeremy (Caleb Landry Jones) arrives things become even more odd and awkward.

The first half of the film lays out all the clues for you, and as you attempt to weave them together, the story begins to pick up. Peele is excellent at allowing the visuals to speak for themselves. He also walks an amazing line between showing exchanges and moments that could just be racial tension, but could also be something more menacing. As the finale of the movie comes into play, everything fits into place and things go very quickly. The insanity of the final scenes leave you tense and terrified of what's going to happen. And the ending itself I found incredibly satisfying.

The acting in this movie is phenomenal too. Caleb Landry Jones was terrifying in a slightly insane, any minute now this guy's gonna lose it, kind of way. And Kaluuya is everything a leading man should be in a horror movie. Catherine Keener was so unsettling and her "therapy" scenes are what really stuck with me when the movie was over.

Get Out is hilarious and terrifying and quite frankly, perfect from the get go. You are pulled along with the story, allowing yourself to be relaxed when the movie takes you that way and then losing it when the movie ramps up. The humor is amazing and refreshing (black sex slaves ya'll). But most importantly Peele does what all great horror creators do - he takes every day fears and amplifies them. Oh, and it's kicking ass in the box office JUST LIKE ALL THE HORROR MOVIES THIS YEAR WHAT WHATTTTTT. I feel incredibly smug that horror has been some of the top money makers so far.

Anyway, THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING. It's refreshing, it's terrifying, it's clever, it's funny, it's everything you want out of a horror film. I cannot wait to see what Peele does next in the horror genre and quite frankly, what the rest of the horror year is going to look like! (did ya'll see that new Covenant trailer?!?!)

Solid 10/10 - can't wait to see it again. 

Spooky Saturday - Get The Girl 2017

First of all, welcome to the first Spooky Saturday here at Horrorbound! Saturday's will be for horror movie reviews. If I watch multiple horror movies in the week, I'll also post a review on Wednesday as well. Look at me....two posts in a row...nailing it!

Second of all, I googled "Get the Girl" to look up info about the movie and I guess I wasn't accurate enough because I just saw a whole bunch of very disheartening articles like "how to get girl to like u (w/ pictures)". But...it also feels kind of accurate for what this movie is sort of about.

So let's jump in:

GET THE GIRL 2017

"I knew, if just given the chance, I'd be the right guy to sweep her off her feet"

Clarence believes in love at first sight because it happened to him with a bartender named Alex. But he's unsure of how to approach her and the first time he does, makes a fool of himself. Alex is currently going through a messy divorce and Clarence watches on as her life slowly falls apart. Clarence decides to approach a known shady guy named Patrick to help him get Alex to notice him. Patrick agrees, once shown a handful of cash because Clarence is of the Duffield legacy, and comes up with a plan where Patrick and some friends will kidnap Alex and Clarence and hold them captive. Clarence will be able to save the day and prove to Alex he's the one for her.

But the team is a hot mess of personalities and Alex isn't going down without a fight. Once someone is killed, everything begins to completely fall apart. And why is the house seemingly empty if Clarence lives here? And what's the real connection between Alex and Patrick?

Overall?

Look, Clarence, played by Justin Dobies, is a creep. Hands down. He's gone to the bar Alex works at every single night even though he doesn't drink just to watch her life. He's approached her twice in all that time. And he assumes that because he's watched her, he knows her. This is wrong and creepy. And yes, in the concept of this movie it turns out he was right - as Alex said, "so you almost killed me to show me I'm alive." But COME ON. Movies like this are what makes articles like the one I found above a reality. You don't "get" girls, that's not a thing. You meet someone and you either fall in love or you don't. There's no magic handbook, there's no step by step guide. You either make a connection with someone or you don't. If at the end of this movie Alex had shot Clarence and said, "fuck off you're a total creep", I would've cheered and enjoyed this statement piece of a movie. But clearly that didn't happen.

BUT...all that aside, let's look at this movie for what it is - a story.

Alex, played by Elizabeth Whitson, is amazing. She never once stops putting up a fight, she's independent, she's smart and she's a goddamn fighter. Which is why the ending of this film is so irritating. Patrick, played by Noah Segan, is charismatically evil and I actually enjoyed his screen time. The group of kidnappers are fun to watch, they're all kind of idiots and clearly have no idea what they're doing. And K.J. steals the scenes he's in, played by Adi Shankar.

There's a couple of twists in this movie that I liked. SPOILERS...............Patrick is Alex's ex-husband and this whole ordeal was coordinated by Clarence to take revenge on Patrick and get him to sign the divorce papers so Alex can be free. I didn't see it coming, I liked it, and it seemed plausible within this implausible movie.

The ending though.....what a cop out. First of all I hated how Alex was all of a sudden like "yes everything you're doing is not crazy and I'm totally falling for you" and I hate that they just cut it off to like...leave it up to the imagination....I guess? DUMB. Dumb ending.

I'm going to give this a 6/10. I was slightly entertained but it came off more as an attempt at a comedy heist than a horror film.

Stay Spooky!

SPLIT 2017

I finally saw Split, I went in unspoiled, and had my brain broke. Before we jump in I just wanna say ya'll judged me for years for supporting M.Night Shamalamadingdong. I knew he would come back. You don't make Signs and The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable and then just lose your creativity. He just needed some time. But ya'll jumped on that hate wagon while I sat here watching The Happening in support (more than once!!!!!!!! What?! No!) and now everyone's supporting him.

Just saying - maybe stop jumping on hate wagons and trust that sometimes directors and writers have some off movies, but usually they come back. And Shyamalan came back with The Visit and then came back even more with Split. And it's #1 at the box office for a second week in a row.

I'M JUST SO PROUD OF HIM YOU GUYS.

Alright, let's talk about Split and there will be spoilers so proceed with caution.

SPLIT 2017

"He's on the move. Someone's coming for you and you're not gonna like it."

Claire and Marcia are best friends and have thrown a birthday party for Claire. They invited Casey, the weirdo in class, but only because they felt bad for her. When Claire's Dad offers to drive Casey home, the three girls hop into the car, but Claire's Dad doesn't follow. Instead a stranger gets into the drivers seat and knocks them all out with some sort of spray.

The girls wake up trapped in a room and as the day progresses they realize the man that took them is insane. He has multiple personalities. Casey keeps her head and tries to use the youngest personality, a 10 year old boy named Hedwig, to help the girls escape.

Meanwhile we are being introduced to Kevin, the kidnapper, who is a man with 23 personalities. He visits his therapist, Dr. Fletcher, but usually visits as Barry (a fashion designer) who is the most dominant personality. The way he describes it is that all the personalities sit inside a room and then Barry chooses who gets to go forward. Dennis, an OCD with pedo tendencies, Patricia, a school marm type, and Hedwig have been banned from coming forward for awhile as they are the most aggressive. And Hedwig has the ability to come into "the light" whenever he pleases. But something has gone wrong inside of Kevin and those three have come to the forefront.

As Dr. Fletcher begins to worry, and the girls attempt to escape, soon they all find themselves in a fight against time, and a fight against the mysterious 24th personality who is referred to as the beast.

Overall?

I adored this movie. It was not scary by any means, so for all those worried about that, this is not a scary film. There are no jump scares and it plays out more like a thriller. But it was a wonderful horrific character piece as we learn more and more about Kevin and all his strange personalities. James McAvoy is phenomenal in this film, and if Oscars took horror movies seriously, you bet your ass he'd be nominated. An absolutely amazing piece of work. There's a scene where multiple personalities comes through at once and I couldn't even believe what I was watching. I also found myself falling for certain personalities. When Hedwig would appear, you truly believed it was a 10 year old boy, and your heart would break for him, and then you'd have to shake yourself and be like...dude...it's still James McAvoy. Stunning work.

Joaquin Pheonix was in the loop to play Kevin but backed out due to contract issues. He would've been returning of course to the Shyamalan universe after working with him a few times. This is a shame but now that I've seen it I don't think anyone but McAvoy could've played this role.

Anya Taylor-Joy, known of course for her amazing delivery in The Witch, was also fantastic to watch. As this poor girl deals with her flashbacks of abuse and the horrific things going on around her, the performance seems so incredibly real. I appreciated how smart Casey was as a character and it was fascinating watching her story line play out. I really fucking hope she didn't get out of that cop car at the end.

We also got a Shyamalan cameo as always which was fun to see. And it was quite a funny moment. In fact this movie had quite a few comedic moments, though they were quite morbid.

The movie runs just under two hours, and I know I preach a hard game about horror movies having no business being that long, but this wasn't bad. Yes, it could've used a few edits. But it wasn't a drag.

Alright so lets talk about that twist ending. What the ending reveals is that this is in fact a somewhat sequel to Unbreakable. We see David Dunn lean over the counter and say, "Mr. Glass" in response to a girl's question. So now let's take a look back at the movie with the understanding that this is a sort of sequel. Here's my thoughts - Kevin's Dad who left when he was young and caused the abuse from Kevin's mom to begin, died in the train crash from Unbreakable. The "Beast" when he's transforming does so in a train yard and on a train. And before doing so, he lays down flowers as if laying them down at a grave. So Kevin's origin story begins with that traumatic train crash, much like Dunn's story began as well.

Hedwig loves Kanye West and in fact risks Casey leaving her cell to listen to the music and watch him dance. Of course, Kanye West references Unbreakable in his song Through the Wire with this lyric; "Unbreakable, what you thought they called me Mr Glass?".

And lastly, (from what I can see - please let me know if you see more) in our final scene with Kevin the score that plays in the background and leads to Bruce Willis is the score from Unbreakable.

Could we have known all along? Perhaps. The title of Split is of course the exact opposite of Unbreakable and the posters themselves mirror each other with the cracks. And when you put the posters side by side the cracks match up:

And with Shyamalan in talks to do an Unbreakable 2, he has mentioned that we would most likely see the return of David Dunn going head to head with The Horde, what Kevin basically becomes in the end after accepting the beast as its leader. And it will be interesting to see if Mr. Glass will team up with the Horde since Glass is of course wheelchair bound but mentally incredibly strong, whereas Kevin who is mentally weak, is now insanely physically strong due to the horde. Between the two of them it would be quite the battle against Dunn....

Phew

My head hurts with theories. This will take a few more re-watches to catch it all and I don't know about you, but I really want to watch Unbreakable now.

Split is a fine piece of work filled with amazing performances and creepy moments. I highly and aggressively recommend it so we can yell at each other about theories.

10/10

Love you Shamalamadingdong, I will never betray you.

Stay spooky!

Sadako vs Kayako and why we should stop judging that fight scene

Sadako vs. Kayako is up on Shudder! And I watched it and I want to talk about it! Directed by Koji Shiraishi, SVK obviously combines the baddies from Ju-on and Ring. What started as an April fools joke quickly became a much anticipated fan film.

Warning - heavy spoilers.

You wanted a showdown?! Well you've got it! ....sort of.

SADAKO VS KAYAKO (2017)

Natsumi and her friend Yuri are hunting for a VHS deck to convert a wedding tape of Natsumi's parents into a DVD for their anniversary. In a pawn shop they find the cheapest one they can and bring it home with them. But when they plug it in, a tape pops out. They begin to watch but Yuri is distracted by her cell phone. Which is lucky for her, because this is the cursed tape. And as Natsumi watches in horror, her cell phone rings and she realizes she now only has 48 hours to live.

Luckily their Urban Legends professor is a total fan girl for Sadako and her cursed tape. When the girls bring it to him he watches it immediately and is cursed. This brings about a hilarious moment where the professor is fan girling on about Sadako and losing his shit about finally finding the tape, poor Natsumi goes, "even if this is the tape, I'm dying in two days okay." So the professor lets them know the ways to be saved, one of them being you hand the tape to someone else and make them watch it. But unfortunately it was Yuri who handed over the tape, so that's already failed.

Next step is to go to a Priestess who is kind of a bitch, and get an exorcism performed which to me looks more like water torture? But I'm also not a Priestess, so I'm sure it was fine. But shocker, this does not work. In fact it blows up in everyone's faces by basically breaking everyone's necks. This was a really great scene that had a lot of shocking quick death scenes one after the other.

Keizo and Tamao are called in. Keizo is some sort of....wizard? He's like this super cool, pea coat wearing guy who whips his hands around a lot and things happen, I think? Tamao is a sassy little blind girl who is not here for any of your shit.

BUT - while all this happening, we are also introduced to the stunningly beautiful Suzuka who has moved to a new town and learns about the house that is cursed with the spirit Kayako and her little ghost cat boy, Toshio. And our introduction to them is incredibly fun when four young boys enter the cursed house only to be killed one by one. CHILDREN BEING KILLED!!!!!!!!!! You know I love when that happens in horror movies!

Anyway, we don't spent a lot of time with Suzuka, which was weird. I kept wondering how on earth they were going to tie it all together. But soon she goes into the cursed house to find the missing boys only to come across Kayako. Her parents rush to her aid only to be violently killed by the spirits. Keizo and Tamao arrive and pull her out of there.

We've got three girls cursed, and possibly the whole world, after Natsumi in a shocking turn of events decides to upload the cursed tape onto the internet. Which is just super rude. Keizo and Tamao decide the only way to end these curses is to have Sadako and Kayako fight it out. They send Yuri and Suzuka into the cursed house with the tape and the fight begins.

Now, I will say - I do understand why people are annoyed that the fight isn't longer and bigger. Obviously, in Freddy vs Jason we get like 20 minutes of non-stop battle. BUT - I'm going to come to this movies defense and say I thought the fight scene was great! It was spooky and intense and when the curses combine it's terrifying. So, I think they did a great job with the two curses fighting it out. I mean, these are two angry spirits...they can't exactly throw punches and stab each other with machetes.

So give it some credit.

There are a lot of really funny moments that I liked like when Natsumi bribes Yuri to help her she says she'll buy her 5 lunches and Yuri is like uh fuck yeah, that had me cackling. There's not a tone of plot holes to be quite honest. I think they pulled it off really well. I liked how it all connects and how the cursed tape comes back. There were also some very emotional moments like when Yuri watches the video to save Natsumi, and then ultimately sacrifices herself at the end to save Suzuka and the world. Yuri is a bad ass bitch. And I also enjoyed the ending....basically they combine and become one super curse that's going to destroy the world. Or at least, that's what I got out of it.

I thought it was a fun watch, I really enjoyed myself, and I got really wrapped up in the film.

Solid 10/10 and I will fight you if you come at me complaining about that final battle. Also I learned I am still terrified of Kayako soooooooo

Stay Spooky!

ps: everything is not going as planned with the lump in my face - doctor had bad news, but I'm done chatting about it for now. I'm just going to pretend everything is fine.....that usually works right?

Exorcisms, Demons and Priests, Oh My! Double Bill!

I’ve got a double bill review for you today! Also this is my 200th post! HOORAY! I’ve bored you 200 times already….

Quick update on my own life since I know ya’ll are waiting patiently to hear about my gypsy cursed life. That’s why you really read this right? HA!

I had surgery last week on my face and got the lump removed, only they weren’t able to remove it all. So they stitched it up and tomorrow night I have to go get steroids injected into the wound and hopefully that kills the rest of it. If it doesn’t, I’m off for more surgery! That twin I absorbed in utero is really hanging on! Jokes aside, I’m really stressed about it and scared. BUT that’s why horror movies are so great because when I watch them they make me forget about my trivial panics and think, well at least I’m not being chased by nazi zombies in the snow!

So I laid out my “to-watch” horror movie list in a nice and organized way and then completely freaked out because there’s 44 movies on there, and that’s not including the ones coming out this year.

I think I need to sort out another challenge for myself because that’s when I actually carve out the time to watch horror movies properly. I organized my movies into decades. Maybe I could do like an early 2000’s themed week? I’ll figure it out.

BUT…this week I did watch a double bill of my own choosing:
The Exorcist 3 and Hostage to the Devil.
So without further ado – let’s jump right in!

THE EXORCIST 3 (1990)

Well, there I was so awfully dead in that electric chair. I didn't like it. Would you? It's upsetting. There was still so much killing to do, and there I was, in the void, without a body.

Written and directed by William Peter Blatty (RIP) it is based on his book, Legion. Blatty of course brought us the original The Exorcist novel which is an amazing piece of horror fiction that I highly recommend. I haven’t read Legion yet but have it on order.

It stars George C. Scott, returning as Detective Kinderman, Ed Flanders, returning as Father Dyer, and Brad Dourif. It takes place 17 years after the events of The Exorcist and starts off with a traumatic murder of a priest and a young boy. Kinderman is on the case and is starting to think it may be the work of the Gemini Killer (who is based off of the Zodiac killer) which is impossible…the Gemini Killer should be dead!

What I loved most about this movie was the caring, loving relationship between Dyer and Kinderman. The two old men who have seen some shit together, are tender and loving to each other and banter back and forth about old movies and tease each other. But Dyer is put into the hospital and shortly after killed. The aftermath of Dyer’s death is so freaky, leaving a lot to the imagination. There’s little cups of blood all around the room that have somehow been drained from Dyer’s body without making a mess and painted on the wall in his blood is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. George C. Scott is triumphant in this movie and when he switches from calm to absolute rage, it’s an amazing thing to watch.

Kinderman’s investigation takes a strange turn for the worse when he discovers a patient in the hospital who looks like Father Karras who died at the end of the first movie. Dourif’s portrayal of Karras/the Gemini Killer is wonderful. Dourif is such a force to be reckoned with.

This is a character driven piece with lots of monologues and quiet moments. But when the horror hits, it hits fucking hard. Of course, this movie is known for its famous horrific scene with the nurse in the hallway. And even though I knew it was coming I still jumped like a lunatic and it gave me goosebumps. It’s the perfect buildup of tension that creates the paranoia in you as your eyes roam back and forth across the screen, wondering when and where it will come.

The Exorcist 3 is a wonderful, horrific, dreamy film that holds its punches until you can’t take it anymore and then smacks you upside the head. I adore it and can’t wait to watch it again. And I’m also angry I took so long to watch it.

10/10

HOSTAGE TO THE DEVIL (2017)

The devil does exist, he really is out there, he is our enemy and he hates us.

Next up I watched the documentary Hostage to the Devil. I have read the book that Malachi Martin wrote which this documentary takes it name from a year or so ago and found it enjoyable but boring in some parts.

The documentary tells the life story of Father Martin, an Irish Catholic priest and writer. During his life he was heavily involved in the preparations of the Second Vatican Council before starting to disagree with the reforms. He asked to be released and moved to New York where he wrote 17 novels that oftentimes were critical of the Catholic Church. A lot of his work was focused on exorcisms and the existence of demons. After his “mysterious” death, friends and disbelievers come together in this documentary to explore his life and memory and to relive the exorcisms he performed during his long career.

Unfortunately this documentary spends most of its time having Martin’s friends and family talk about how charismatic he was and when the film does finally focus on the exorcisms it gets very confusing. Near the end it introduces a paranormal research team who did one of the first “paranormal shows” for ABC. I have no idea why they were introduced? And then it shows Martin’s last exorcism through the words of a CIA friend but since that friend wasn’t actually present during the exorcism it gets super confusing what he’s talking about.

The two saving graces I will give it are that Lorraine Warren makes a few appearances as she was a good friend of Martin’s. While she doesn’t speak to the documentarians, she is in some of the old footage and you know I love the hell out of her. The second is Ralph Sarchie who I also love. He was the New York cop whose story Deliver us from Evil is loosely based on. He also got his own TV show last year which is so bad that it becomes good again. He speaks frankly and honestly with the camera and I liked hearing his point of view.

What I did like were the little tidbits that we learn about real life exorcisms and some of the quotes from Martin and the church. We’re told about the four signs of a possession that people look for:

• Extraordinary Strength
• Knowledge of ancient language
• Fear of sacred things
• Knowledge of things they couldn’t possibly know about other people

Honestly I wouldn’t recommend this to most people. Unless you have a complete fascination of the paranormal and know a lot of the big guys and gals in the community, you won’t get much from this. Even the exorcism footage they show is not worth it – it’s grainy and blurred and hard to make out.

I obviously believe in ghosts, I’ve spoken a lot about that on this blog before. But I always struggle with demons. I’m not a religious person so I don’t believe in heaven and hell and angels, but for some reason I do believe that demons could possibly exist. Either way, documentaries and shows like this always make me question for hours what to think. Can I believe in demons if I don’t believe in God? Are demons fake? Are exorcisms real, or just mentally ill people being taken advantage of? Ugh. My brain hurts.

I give this a 5/10. Quite boring at some parts and very confusing.

Alrighty, I’ll leave you with that for now. I’m back to the doctors tomorrow and we’ll see what happens with my face. I’m not making any concrete promises on when I’ll be back. Could be tomorrow, could be a week, could be a month. You know me – but one of these days this thing will actually be updated daily and properly. In fact one of my goals this year is to move this blog over to an actual website and set myself with a proper horror website. I’ll be looking for writers to join, but I’ll sort all that out in the summer.

ANYWAY

I’m going to go and figure out some sort of fun challenge to get through all these movies on my to-watch list and hopefully not die from the lump in my face.

Stay spooky!