DAY TWENTY-THREE - Housebound (horror movie challenge - 31 days of horror)

DAY TWENTY-THREE - HOUSEBOUND (2013)

Housebound is one of my favorite films ever I think. This is my second time watching it and I enjoyed it just as much. It's a 2014 horror comedy from New Zealand, written and directed by Gerard Johnstone.

Kylie gets caught trying to steal an ATM machine and it's the last strike on her record, she is sentenced to house arrest and has to return home to live with her mom, Miriam, and her step dad, Graeme. Kylie doesn't get along with either of them and spends a lot of time moping around the house and being a brat. Miriam plays a mom so damn well. Just everything about her and the way she talks is completely on point. She's absolutely hilarious. And Graeme who barely says anything is just as funny.
Another character is the security contractor, Amos, who tracks Kylie's house arrest bracelet. When Kylie learns that her mother thinks the house is haunted she relentlessly teases her. But soon after she begins to experience the hauntings too. When her house arrest bracelet goes off for no reason, Amos shows up. To everyone's surprise he's also a paranormal investigator, and so the madness begins.

Kylie and Amos learn that the house Kylie grew up in used to be a sort of half-way house/hospital for the mentally unstable youth. A young girl was violently murdered in Kylie's room. As the two begin to dig deeper they begin to suspect Kylie's creepy neighbor was the murderer.

I won't say much more because the twist in the movie is absolutely hilarious and unexpected. 

Housebound's got that really dry wit that I find so hilarious and every single character, no matter how small a role, does a fantastic job.

The acting is pheneomenal and the story is perfect. It's an absolute joy to watch. Although it is quite a hilarious movie, there is a lot of blood and gore, and some jumpy parts. So it's definitely more horror than comedy.

I love this movie, you will too, I love it so much I named my blog after it. Go watch it! 10/10

So I didn't make it to Fright Nights, the damn trains in this city are so useless lately and they were broken down. Instead I carved my first pumpkin and watched my movie.

It's Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas!

Now today I will carve the other three pumpkins and watch two horror movies so I'm back on track. Tomorrow begins Halloweek and I am so freakin' excited!

On Halloween night my besti Brenna is joining me for the annual watching of Halloween. This will be her first time watching it so I'll be interested to get her feedback!

Stay Spooky!

Vampires, Ghosts, and Bigfoot, Oh My!

What We Do In The Shadows

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What a complete pleasant surprise this movie was. I saw the trailer a few months ago and I fell in love instantly. Great actors, great writers, unique idea. Another amazing film out of New Zealand. It's a mockumentary style movie about modern day vampires. Straight up, this is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I was in stitches the entire time and texting Oprah all the best quotes...which was basically every quote. I know I will watch this movie over and over and recommend it to everyone.
Like, straight up, I can't stand vampires. There was just this ridiculous influx of vampires when I was in highschool and college and I got sick of them. Which sucked because I loved the Anne Rice novels and the movies, especially Queen of the Damned, but I couldn't bare to watch it anymore. Now it's zombies infiltrating everything and I'm starting to enjoy vampires again. So this movie came to me at a great time and is reigniting my vampire flame. (that sounds super erotic....)

Rating?
10 swearwolves out of 10 track pants

Housebound

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Another film from New Zealand and absolutely refreshing for the horror genre. An amazing and beautiful and tough as nails female lead, a mother character we can all relate to, and a number of hilarious and strange characters revolving through. The film also does an amazing job of never really letting you know where it's going. You think you've solved it and then a twist happens that basically breaks your ankle and you're just like NOOO WHATTTT. Loved every moment of it. Aggressively recommend it. Like...I can't find a single flaw? It could've been 5 hours long and I would've been happy. It gave me hella old school horror vibes.

Rating?
Just straight up 10/10

Willow Creek

A found footage Bigfoot movie. My body was so ready. And part of it delivered, but most of it didn't. Aside from a very tense and well done 20 minute scene in the tent at night, there wasn't much going on except a long winded tour of Willow Creek. Steve Streufert and Tommy Yamarone make cameos playing themselves and there's a weird amount of big foot music. BUT
...................all this movie did was leave me with 1000 unanswered questions.
Everyone online says the naked lady was a forest bride? When was forest bride mentioned? I got that she was the missing woman from the poster but FOREST BRIDE?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!?
And the guy guarding the film site telling them to go back? Who the fuck? If he was protecting the site then why does the town show off big foot if they want to keep it a secret? Was he protecting a pot field?
Why didn't the camera have night vision?
WHY WAS THAT SOCK IN THE TREE?
Why did they keep turning the light on and therefore attracting attention?
Why was I weirdly attracted to Steve Streufert in his scene?
WHO FOUND THE FOOTAGE?
Why am i ready to fall asleep at 8pm?
Why is Valentine's Day candy so expensive?
....

Rating?
5 suspicious town folk out of 10 forest brides?

V/H/S Viral

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The end to the epic trilogy! But honestly this one was basically a stand alone. And the in-between story was so dumb? I didn't get it? It was super confusing and in no way scary and I was more annoyed than anything when a story ended.
The stories though?
The first one was about a magician and his evil magic cloak. And ya'll know I luuuurve anything to do with magicians so this was right up my alley. The camera in this one was pretty awesome because it was documentary style mixed with interrogation room footage and "home videos".

The second was a man who's opened a portal to an alternate universe where he finds himself. They switch universes for just 15 minutes but a whole lot of shit goes down. Including monster vaginas and a porn soundtrack that I couldn't figure out where or why or how? This had the shaky cam effect though which drove me nuts near the end. Both guys carried camcorders the entire time.

The third was a bunch of kids filming a skate video and going to TJ to continue to film. They end up there during what appears to be the day of the dead festival and while skating they skate over a weird pentagram and shrine and shit happens. This one was pretty creepy image wise but I hated every single person in this video, I had no idea what was really happening between the kids, and why and how did these kids get across the border? ONE HAD A GUN?!
Anyway.
Not the best V/H/S by far, but a satisfying end to the trilogy.

Rating?
 7 waves of nausea due to 10 shaky cam moments

what i'm watching next (spoiler alert; it's horror movies)

This happens every year - I binge watch horror movies from July to October and then purge on TV shows for November and December. But here we are, new year, new month, and my incredible urge to constantly watch horror movies is back.

So here's the ones I'll be delving into for the next little while:

TUSK

From my beloved Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier comes perhaps the weirdest film of the year; Tusk. I remember listening to the podcast that sparked it all, walking to the grocery store and back one sunny afternoon and thinking fuck I hope he goes through with this. And here we are. If nothing else, Kevin Smith delivers. I've heard not so great things, and I've heard amazing things about this movie. But I know I will love it because Kevin Smith gets me on a spiritual level. MY BODY IS READY (to turn into a walrus).

OUIJA

I know this movie will be average. I feel it in my soul. When I watched the trailer it showed me the entire movie including all the scary parts. I fucking hate when horror movies do that. And it makes me worry the movie itself is lackluster and a waste of time. BUT I also have this itch that tells me it might be in the same kind of boat as Final Destination, as in teens getting murdered in gruesome ways with typical jump scares and a "clever" twist of an ending. And I'm one hell of a sucker for those types of films.

ANNABELLE 

I am so excited for this moooovieeeeee. I love everything and anything to do with the Warrens' and their cases. I absolutely adored The Conjuring and I've heard this film has the same type of beautiful imagery and subtle but terrifying scares. I want to be SCARED by Annabelle or at least enjoy the shit out of it.

JESSABELLE

All I remember about this movie is the main character is in a wheel chair, it's set in the Louisiana swamps (maybe?) and the mom dies leaving something for her daughter (I think?). Idk. I watched the trailer months and months ago. But I was intrigued. And a little southern ghost story sits just right with me.

THE PURGE: ANARCHY

The sequel to The Purge. Basically same shit different streets right? But I loved the first one, and I'm fully aware the second one will be the same kind of stuff, and I still want to see it and enjoy it. Simple as that! (I hope).

HOUSEBOUND

A horror movie from New Zealand I heard about in 2013. Somewhat comedy, somewhat horror. The story of a girl moving back in with her parents and finding out the house is haunted. My knowledge is minor on this but I've read some great reviews.

DRACULA UNTOLD

This is just guilty pleasure because I think the lead guy is gorgeous. I will probably hate this movie, I probably won't get all the way through. But I'm willing to try. For like half an hour. Honestly, I don't even know why I put this on here.

WILLOW CREEK

A BIG FOOT MOVIE THAT'S ACTUALLY SCARY. I hope. Also I just realized there's a lack of found footage film on this list which is refreshing but this one is found footage so there goes that. Something about a couple in the woods, maybe the wife believes, maybe the husband doesn't? idk. that might just be an episode of Finding Big Foot. Regardless, I remember being excited for this one.

V/H/S VIRAL

The end of a beautiful, terrifying, bizarre, refreshing anthology trilogy of found footage with multiple directors. And this ending doesn't look like it dissapoints. Wasn't it something about a video of an ambulance going viral so everyone tries to make viral videos and shit goes wack? Isn't there a scene with a girl in the shower and then she dissapears and there's a lot of blood?
Guess I'll find out.

EXTRATERRESTRIAL

AN ALIEN MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love alien movies. Oh god, I love them so much. This also might be found footage? Honestly, all I remember from the trailer was a dude getting straight up PROBED and I couldn't even.

You know what this list taught me?
My memory is terrible. I watch too many trailers. I cannot wait to binge horror movies again.

(Edited Jan. 22) Adding to the list:
The Canal
The Guest