Black Christmas and I watch the wrong movie again

So once again I downloaded the wrong movie haha but to make up for all this downloading I used the last of gift certificate and ordered like 20 horror movies on amazon. Including the original Hills Have Eyes!
Anyway, next on the random lists on my phone of horror movies to watch was Black Christmas, the original from 1974. Ended up with the remake. BUT it was a tone of fun.

Let's talk about it!

BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)

And fucking Santa Claus? This fat voyeur that watches you all year long to make sure you live up to his standards of decency before breaking into your house.

 

Black Christmas, aka Black X-Mas to relate to the early 2000 audience (we were pretty hip back then), was written and directed by Glen Morgan (who also helped bring us the Final Destination franchise). The film has a great, basically all, female cast including some of the 2000 greats like Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Katie Cassidy. Andrea Martin plays the house mother in this film and she was also in the original which is a nice little nod.

Black X-Mas is a pretty loose remake apparently, and in this story it follows Billy, a psychopath who after years of abuse murdered his whole family (except his sister - he only took her eye) and ate parts of them. 15 years later he escapes from the asylum on Christmas Eve and returns to his family home, which is now a sorority house. The house knows about the past and every year they leave a gift for Billy under the tree - but they never expect him to actually show up.

Billy is loosely based on Edmond Kemper, the serial killer who had a fucked up relationship with his mom and attacked a sorority house killing some of the girls.

The film is a typical 2000 slasher. There's a bunch of sub story lines that make no sense, and go nowhere. There's a lot of unanswered questions....like how did Billy's sister know to meet him at the house? And how did she even get there? And why are there so many holes in floors and walls? And how did no one hear Billy setting up a damn christmas tree in the attic?
It's a tone of fun to watch with terrible dialogue and a tone of plot holes but you still have an amazing time. I will definitely be watching this every year on Christmas Eve because how could I not?


My only major complaint with it is the ending dragged on for waaaay too long. They could've cut down at least 20 minutes and I would've been happy. It didn't ruin it or anything but I found myself checking my phone a lot near the end. Although now that I'm thinking about it I think I watched the extended cut which makes a lot of sense.



9/10

gif credit

Anyway, it was a fun way to end my weekend before my week of hell. I'll see you on the other side!


Stay spooky!

Poltergeist the remake and how I actually kind of loved it?

POLTERGEIST (the remake)

Alright, I hate remakes. You know this. I complain all the time about this. I don't see the point in funneling money into remakes when we could be supporting new and original horror. So when I finally got around to watching the remake of Poltergeist, I did it with crossed arms and a sour look on my face. But within 5 minutes my face cracked into a reluctant smile and DAMNIT I was laughing at the dialogue and enjoying myself.

So let's get into it.

Poltergeist originally came out in 1982 and was directed by Tobe Hooper and co-written by Steven Spielberg. It ended up becoming a trilogy. The original was a classic horror film with an absolutely amazing cast, and some pretty fantastic ideas for the time.

Last year Gil Kenan directed the remake and put Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt in the lead role of the couple. Jared Harris played the eccentric ghost hunter alongside Jane Adams as his partner in crime.

Now as much as I hate to admit this, I enjoyed the new cast more. I love Sam Rockwell and him and DeWitt brought some amazing comedic wit. Making Jared Harris a TV ghost hunter was a great modernization. And Jane Adams, though quiet, brought a great partnership.

The scares were minimal in this film for me personally, but I could see it scaring the average viewer quite a bit. I found the iconic clown scene actually much more frightening in the remake. The fact that there were multiple clown dolls just lurking around and scaring the shit out of me. Not cool. But awesome. Also the "other dimension" was super creepy in the remake. All those creepy dead bodies writhing around. Gross. Do not want to go to there. But I liked it a lot. 

The gore was minimal in this movie compared to the original. So....there's one thing against it. The story was different of course, but the premise was the same. They modernized the haunting, making the poltergeist effect cell phones and flat screen TV's etc etc. There was also a drone which I didn't love. But I don't love drones in general so this was never going to be a win for me. The tree scene was less creepy in the remake. But they managed to keep all the iconic scenes in the remake, just with some modernizations and a few adjustments.

I liked the kids a lot more in the original. The teenage girl in the remake was too hysterical and mean to her parents for my liking. Like, gurl, your Dad has no job and bought you a new iPhone yet you're still sassing him? Get a job yourself, damn. Although I did like the young son because he was a nervous wreck and I felt that on a personal level.

So, I was preparing to tear this movie apart and call it a piece of crap and have it prove my point but instead I had a really great time watching it and I will totally watch it again.

WHO AM I

I'm giving it an 8/10. Don't yell at me.

Stay spooky!