Since I lost my job and could not find it ever again, I have become somewhat of a night owl. As in...my day is usually 12pm - 3am. I am far more productive in the hours after midnight and I have no idea why, but I've been embracing it. But the past two days I have been up very early. And by very early, I clearly mean 10/11am. It's like a whole new world for me. Today the Shaw guy came to hook us up with the sweet sweet internet and therefore I had to awake. Unfortunately for the Shaw guy, when he went back to his car to get his tools, I had fallen back asleep. I was not much help. But after he left I decided to start my day. I was excited because now I could job hunt from the comfort of my own couch while drinking awful home made ice coffee and not wearing pants. And after a few hours of doing that I stretched and thought to myself, welp...time to get dinner started. JUST KIDDING. It's only 2:30pm. ALRIGHT! Waking up early makes me feel like I have SO much more time. Crazy. So obviously with all this extra time I am blogging and watching the Chris Hardwick comedy central special; Mandroid.

The thing I've found most about job hunting is that you get reallllll sick of talking about yourself. I mean, how many god damn cover letters can you really write with enthusiasm. And who even reads cover letters? When I used to accept resumes I would ignore the cover letters, browse the previous jobs, and then base it on whether they could work weekends or not. Once I actually received a resume from what appeared to be a 12 year old girl who's only job experience was "professional blogging." I was so intrigued I almost brought her in for an interview. Does this count as professional blogging? I mean, I'm pretty damn professional about it. And what is a 12 year old blogging about?

Dear blog,
Today I am going to review the new episode of MY LITTLE PONY! I was so happy to watch it and I really liked the pink one that smelt like strawberries. It was sad when the ponies got scared and stuff happened but then they were all happy at the end!!~~~ I give it 5 pony tails out of 5 pony tails. Tune in next week when I review MADAGASCAR 10. Also I will have a youtube channel soon where I will post videos of my Bratz collection.

Haha, who am I kidding? 12 year olds nowadays drink more than I do and have experimented with at least two hallucinogenic drugs. They're also lazy as shit and can't spell. Seriously, it drives me insane. I had a girl ask me to read her Walking Dead fan fiction the other day and I obliged. She's like 14, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. BUT GOOD LORD GIRL. You are typing this story ON A COMPUTER. Where spell check is in abundance. I mean seriously, you get spell checked on facebook nowadays. Yet this story was filled with half finished sentences, a multitude of misspelled words, and it made absolutely no sense. I couldn't even begin to explain to her what I really thought. I had to decline the request to edit and just move on with my life.

I could write a 1000 page essay on what's wrong with the younger generation but then I would just be a grumpy old woman and everyone on tumblr would hate me.

Anyway, I'm incredibly happy to have internet in my home. I wish I could just hug the router and cry and tell it I love it and I missed it. I am the internets' overly attached girlfriend. And I don't want it to leave me ever again. Or I will KILL MYSELF.

Just kidding.

You know what I'm getting really tired of? People who use their status updates as confirmation of what to do with EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR LIVES.
"Who thinks I should dye my hair red?"
"Like this status if you think I should get a puppy?"
"Should I quit my job? If my boss is on here don't read this LOL"
"I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of an elephant mounting a lion on my chest. Good idea?"
What happened to the good old days when every decision you made was made on your own, and in your mind. Should I wear jeans today? I have no idea, probably should make a status about it and see what my 500 friends, most of whom I've only met once, think about this.
And the worst part...is the people who comment. STOP IT. YOU ARE ENCOURAGING BAD, ANNOYING BEHAVIOR.
"Hey Sally, I really think you should get a tattoo of an elephant mounting a lion on your chest, sounds really unique and it's a great idea! You'll never regret it."
STOP IT.
I feel like by the end of 2013 people will be posting everything on facebook from statuses asking whether they should take a poop, to photos of their vaginas asking 'is this normal?'

Today I also discovered a youtube channel that has all the music from The Hobbit. And the reason I was searching for this was because the other night I had a very fun dream where Oprah and I cosplayed as hobbits and ran through the wilderness in Newfoundland yelling "WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE". And we frolicked and our backpacks were filled with goodies and frying pans that clanged together. It was wonderful. We discovered a man who was also cosplaying but as a dwarf and he joined us on this journey which ended up in an aquarium where squids and octopuses floated in the air instead of in the ocean. But that part doesn't matter. What matters is I woke up extremely happy and filled with joy because of my fun hobbit dream. And all I wanted to do was watch The Hobbit and run through fields and over mountains and what not. Instead, today, I found the soundtrack and listened to it while I performed my daily tasks. Such as cleaning the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, cooking lunch, job hunting etc. AND IT MADE EVERYTHING FEEL SO MUCH MORE EPIC. I felt like everything was a quest and I was completing quests left and right, making these tasks my bitch. I suggest it to everyone.

It's not even 3pm yet. I HAVE SO MUCH I CAN ACCOMPLISH! And by that I mean playing my new video game that arrived in the mail today and getting hyped up on caffeine.

Farewell.