Greetings Humans,
So I have a bath tub now. The past two places I have lived have been absent of said luxury and the place before that had water temperature issues so having a bath either meant freezing to death or boiling like a fresh lobster. I spent two years using my mom's bath tub every time I visited her in Calgary, and my mother in laws whenever I got the chance. I was that homeless friend couch surfing. Only I bath surfed...
Since moving in here I have managed to only have two showers, and a multitude of wonderful baths. But I have forgotten the trials and tribulations that come along with the owning of a bath tub. You take a risk every time you run that water. Especially if you forget to do a quick wipe down of the tub before you fill it up. Then you panic when you get in because you're not sure who's hair is floating in the water.
Although I have to say that I don't think hair in the tub will EVER phase me again after I spent an hour unclogging our drain filled with the old tenants hair. I could've made a beautiful blonde wig. I also found a twig down there and a lot of tape. No judgement. Just kinda wishing they'd cleaned it out before we moved in.....
But it's also so hard to find that perfect temperature. And you can't really judge it until your entire body is enveloped. And then it is too late and you have to suck it up. But bath time is a huge commitment for me. I set up a new podcast, I light some candles, get comfy. Then BOOM...the water is barely hot and after ten minutes you're shivering and shaving your legs so fast it could be an Olympic sport. It's devastating. But it's also a risk you're willing to take to have that perfect bath. Because every now and then you'll end up with THE PERFECT BATH. And nothing else matters, and nothing hurts etc etc. I feel like Demi Moore in The Scarlet Letter. I have no regrets. It's the simple things in life.

I've also started drinking coffee. The main reason being I cannot afford my beloved energy drinks anymore and coffee is basically free. But this is also something that is all about trial and tribulation. I haven't found my sweet spot yet. Each cup is either too bitter or too sweet or I didn't put enough coffee in the machine. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm also not used to drinking hot liquids as I have always been quite opposed to them. I have a tendency to leave my coffee alone for too long, come back, and get a mouthful of cold liquid...which I always spit back into the cup. Which then ruins the coffee. But I drink it anyway because I am poor and refuse to waste it. Or I have to reheat the cup like 5 times while drinking one cup of coffee.

I know, my life is really hard. I bet you read this and just wipe your brow thinking I am SO glad this is not my life. This poor girl has to spend her days dealing with cold coffee and baths.

Mitch and I debated today over Tony's superhero name. I believe it should be Tony Stark and he would be Irondog. Mitch thinks he should be Poop Dog and have a sidekick named Fart Dog. I'm going with Tony Stark. Because how can you not? But now I have this overwhelming need to make our dog a superhero cape. I might have to re-think our Halloween costumes for this year. I was going to be Lori Grimes, Tony would be Carl Grimes....I would get him a little dog sized cop hat...I'd stuff a pillow up my shirt, cover myself in fake blood, and act more hysterical than usual.....
Could you imagine if I actually made Tony a superhero cape and took him to the dog park down the road. No dog would EVER fuck with him. Or he would be thrown into a garbage can by the cool dogs. Either or. Just throwing that out there.

Tonight we are hosting a house warming party to let everyone know (even though they already know) WE'VE MOVED IN. I always think house warming parties are hilarious. Please come over and see my home and my things and be jealous because I have Hobbit action figures and a cute dog. House warming parties are just an excuse for you and your friends to get drunk in a new environment. Of course, everyone invited are actually Mitch's friends, since I still haven't found that sweet spot of being able to make and keep friends. My Dad suggested I invite the UPS guy who came to our home three days in a row delivering amazon packages and showed me pictures of his dog. Or the old woman who lives upstairs and cornered me in the laundry room to tell me all about my neighbors and her cat. I thought about it. I really did. But instead it will be me standing awkwardly in places around our house "casually" leaning against counters and walls and wandering if anyone has seen the newest episode of The Guild and whether I could sneak away to read my book for ten minutes.
Jokes aside, I'm sure tonight will be fun. And I should really be cleaning this place up TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~

Also I have to go buy snacks for our guests which probably won't get eaten because isn't it always awkward to eat snacks at parties? The food lay out is always completely avoided and I have no idea why. Eating in public is weiiiiird. So here's to hoping I have a tone of chips left over to stuff my face with tomorrow. 

Farewell.