I watched Creep! Let's talk about it!
Creep, originally titled Peachfuzz, is a movie from 2014 directed by Patrick Brice, written by Brice himself and Mark Duplass. It also stars the two guys. Duplass has been in a lot of great movies including Safety Not Guaranteed and The Lazarus Effect.
Total random pick on Netflix, knew nothing about it, just liked the synopsis. Let's break it down -
SPOILERS AHEAD
Starts out with a man named Aaron responding to some sort of ad in the middle of a small mountain town. But let's just take a moment here though to talk about how WE SHOULD NEVER RESPOND TO MYSTERIOUS ADS. Ya'll need to have a come to jesus moment. Stop answering sketchy ads on craiglist cause ya'll gonna get murdered. The internet is a great and wonderful place. Especially for catfishing and murdering people.
Aaron arrives at the house to find no one. But soon after the man who wrote the ad, Josef, shows up and seems hella friendly. But like creepy friendly. But like also I think anyone who is really friendly is creepy because humans make me uncomfortable. So I'm not the best judge of character.
Turns out Josef has a brain tumor and only has three months to live. So he has asked Aaron to film him all day so that Josef's unborn son (Joseph calls him Buddy) can have a memory of his father after Josef dies. Makes sense. I'm feelin' that.
This is when things get weird. Not only is Josef super friendly, creepily so, he's also a hugger. Which I despise. I seriously would've been out of there in 5 minutes. BUT Aaron is obviously more socially concious than me so he sticks arond. Josef immediately hops into the tub naked and starts to explain to Buddy how Josef and his father used to have "Tubbies".
Tubbies - Taking a bath with your dad which seems totally normal but probably isn't.
Using a wash cloth which he pretends is Buddy, Josef reenacts a "tubby'. Creepy shit. Also doesn't make any sense. If Buddy is watching this I'm guessing he'd have to be at a certain age where he could understand what was happening - which means he is waaaay too old for a tubby. Josef also pretends to drown himself and then appologizes for his weird sense of humor. Which i get on a spiritual level.
Then he has this weird moment where he gets extremely depressed about how he's going to die, while lying in a tub surrounded by candles...naked. Poor Aaron.
The two men decide it's time to head outside and after a bizarre dance and song from Josef while wearing a wolf mask, they continue on. They trek into the woods to find the myth of the healing waters but Josef, true to character, decides to run off and then jump out and scare the shit out of Aaron and proceeds to tell him he just felt his first near death experience.
Josef you are crazy mother fucker. And I'm starting to like you.
There's an interesting moment where Josef asks, "When you saw that axe outside my house, was there a small part of you that thought I'd kill you?" he says with a shit eating grin. And you just get this small glimpse into this complex character where he's simultaneously asking this question honestly but also to fuck with Aaron.
They find the Healing Waters and have a small moment of tranquility where the two of them get along and enjoy themselves in the water. It's almost more bizarre than the weird parts of the film. It shows how no matter how weird and off someone may be, if you find something small in common, or experience something slightly profound together, it creates a strange bond. And I think this moment of tranquility guides all of Aaron's actions going forward. Humanity is weird.
After a pancake meal and sharing of "shame" stories which Aaron takes seriously and Josef gets weird about (seeing a trend here), they head back to Josef's house. It's getting late, Aaron is trying to leave but Josef, with his strange charm manages to convince Aaron to stay for a drink.
And now things start to unravel - Aaron continues to try to leave, Josef steals his keys, Josef shares a horrifying story about his wife looking at animal porn, to which he decides to break into her bedroom wearing a wolf mask and rape her....
Aaron, to his credit, is pretty calm still but starting to freak. To get out of this increasingly alarming situation he drugs Josef with some Benadryl. Josef passes out and his cell phone rings. Aaron answers to find Josef's wife on the phone, Angela. She tells Aaron in a very bored and annoyed voice to get out of the house immediately, which is probably how I would sound too if my husband was a serial killer. So exhausting.
BUT WAIT PLOT TWIST
Angela is Josef's sister, not his wife. Which....duh. Josef is clearly a liar if you've been paying attention. But now this mother fucker, instead of hanging up the phone and running out of that damn house - decides to go look for Josef, who is no longer sleeping where he left him. HE GOES LOOKING FOR HIM. This is the defining moment of my strong belief that Aaron deserves everything that's coming for him.
Idiot.
Our time in the house ends when Aaron finds Josef in a wolf mask. Oh, also he's growling. And gyrating. He attacks Aaron and the camera goes black.
But next Aaron is safe and at home and tells us that Josef let him leave but has since videotaped himself dragging three garbage bags up a hill and then digging a giant hole. Which means, Josef knows where Aaron lives.
But Aaron, continuing to be an idiot, does nothing but throw the tape in the garbage. WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE POLICE AARON. WHY???? YOU HAVE HOURS OF PROOF THAT THIS MAN IS CRAZY.
Aaaron then receives a box and during an un-boxing video we find out inside is a knife, a stuffed wolf and a DVD. The DVD is Josef apologizing for the previous video and encouraging Aaron to release his inner wolf by cutting open the stuffed wolf. Because duh. Inside is a locket with a picture of Aaron and a picture of Josef. And let me just say, my boyfriend has never bought me jewelry so Aaron should at least be a little flattered.
But instead Aaron finally does what he should've done the night he left Josef's place - he calls the cops.
Who do nothing.
Because it's a horror movie and I need to lower my expectations of logic. But in the police's defense, Aaron did not give a very convincing argument.
Next Aaron wakes up from a nightmare to hear a noise outside his house. He panics and runs around looking for the noise (we've all been there - mine is usually every other night) while we see Josef standing at the door looking in. Aaron then goes outside, to just reaffirm the idea that he's a total idiot.
We then see Aaron sleeping while Josef cuts hair from his head. But apparently Aaron doesn't re-watch his footage, because the next day he's freaked out that there's a DVD sitting in his window. Instead of being freaked out that he caught Josef on tape CUTTING HIS HAIR.
The DVD is Josef's last communication. He asks Aaron to meet him the next day so that he can apologize in person and so they can get some closure together. And I'm getting flashbacks from a really bad breakup 6 years ago.
And in case I hadn't convinced you that Aaron is an idiot just yet........he decides to meet up with Josef. Clearly he has not watched enough episodes of Dateline in his life.
Aaron arrives to the meeting place, convinced he's fine because not only is he taping the whole thing, he has 911 on speed dial. But lbr, what will that accomplish? If Josef is coming at you with an axe, he's not going to wait 15-20 minutes for the cops to show up.
Speaking of an axe - that's exactly what Josef brings. Wearing a wolf mask, he sneaks up behind Aaron and chops him right in the head.
And you know what Aaron, you deserved it, I'm sorry but literally every move you made in this film was wrong. You are the worst.
So finally it cuts to Josef watching the footage of him murdering Aaron. He speaks about how Aaron never turned around, which shows that Aaron trusted Josef. But mostly shows that Aaron is an idiot. Josef then drops the bomb that he "loves Aaron the best of all of them." Oh Josef, you crazy son of a bitch.
And so it comes to a close. Josef's cell phone rings, he answers with his new name, Bill, and confirms the visit of another sad schmuck who hasn't learned that answering ads on cragislist is a dumb idea. He then places the tape of Aaron's murder into a cupboard filled with a whoooooole lot more tapes.
So we've come full circle.
Amazing.
END OF SPOILERS
I absolutely adored this movie. It was a super fun ride, really quick, super impressive. The fact that there's only two cast members who carry the entire movie yet pull it off flawlessly. I already want to watch it again and I'm definitely going to aggressively recommend it.
10/10 (except for Aaron, he gets 1/10)
In other news, I have a sunburn - which proves I went outside! It's also Friday night which means I have no pants on and am going to watch horror movies allllllll night long baby yeaaaah. Mitch gets home on Sunday and I will return to sanity.
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