When asked who I am most like, I often refer to Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. In fact, Tina Fey in general is practically my doppelganger. I was going to write a biography called Boringpants but Tina Fey beat me to the punch. Liz Lemon, like myself, cares more about food than people, makes potato chip sandwiches, and is very comfortable wearing swim wear when it's laundry day. She idolizes Oprah, and I strongly agree in anything Oprah says, Oprah is always right. I may be the only 22 year old who reads O Magazine monthly, absorbing the articles on weight loss for middle aged women. Tina Fey, like myself, grew up awkward and alone, only to turn it all around and become a very successful writer and comedian. That last part obviously does not apply to my life, as I am still very awkward, and consider my only accomplishment becoming slightly popular on tumblr. Tina Fey enjoys children and doesn't care for dogs, this may be our only difference. I despise children and treat dogs like babies. But other than that, it's flawless. So instead of boring you with the biography of my life, I strongly suggest you buy Tina Fey's book Bossypants and read the first 5 chapters.

I am also a lot like Karl from An Idiot Abroad. I watch that show and think, you know what, Karl's just misunderstood. Traveling as a plain eater, and a socially inept penguin, is a horrible feat. I was fortunate enough to grow up as a military brat and travel the world. I have visited many different places that once people find that about me, beg me to tell them wonderful travel stories. Unfortunately I have none. I visited Austria and ate schnitzel with noodles 7 nights in a row. I visited Cape Cod and saw Bill Clinton from a distance and ate chicken strips and french fries every night for two weeks. When living in Germany I went to a theme park where I understood nothing and went on the Never Ending Story ride 4 times in a row because I didn't know how to get off. I had a very warm vacation in Waikiki where I indulged every day in reading and eating BLT sandwiches, which I took the tomatoes out of. I swam in the ocean once (I have a fear of sand) and climbed a volcano. Unfortunately by the time I got to the top I couldn't even take in the view because I was having a panic attack over how high up I was. In Switzerland I tripped over a cow grate (it's meant for stopping cows from leaving the field, also for stopping 10 year old girls from walking in general) and cut open my knee, ruining the entire trip.

Now don't get all high and mighty and judgmental on me. Claiming I am a spoiled brat and I take advantage of the fact that I have traveled. You are wrong, I do enjoy traveling, I just enjoy doing it under my own agenda. Japan? No thanks, I would starve. And crowds make me nervous. Mexico? I don't think so, I don't want to get murdered and/or food poisoning. New Zealand? Maybe, because I would want to simply walk into Mordor.

I am not some ignorant white girl, I am just a boring, plain eater, and boring, plain eaters do not enjoy cultures that condone spicy food and raw fish. I like to blame my plain eating on my own culture, which is the good old United Kingdom. When I go back to England I am in my comfort zone. You can go into any restaurant and be guaranteed that 80% of the menu is made up of butter, salt, or potatoes. All of our food is bland and plain. Smoking is accepted as second nature. And the drinking age is more like a competition for how young you can get your child to drink (my parents were very disappointed that I didn't touch a drop of alcohol until I turned 18).

Anyway, today is Sunday, and I have accomplished watching Supernatural episodes, playing with my new markers, and unsuccessfully trying to find a way to watch Friday the 13th for free online. I hope your Sunday is much more eventful than mine, and that you can go away from this blog understanding a little more about the trials and tribulations of a plain eater, and haven't deleted this blog from your favorites.