WELCOME

Well, the time has come blogger world for me to blog publicly once more. I have spent the past two years blogging in the privacy of my exclusive livejournal account, I even had the page set up so everyone who came for a visit was accosted with a LOCKED "friends only" entry. I was blogging like a hipster with no one stopping me. Of course, with the illusion of the "locked" journal comes the idea that my blog is so cool that I only let certain people see it. Unfortunately I only had 4 friends. One of which was my own photography journal. Therefore I have low expectations of the popularity of this now public blog. If no one thought I was cool enough to try and be added to my bad ass "locked" journal, I doubt anyone will read this one. Even if it is public. It's like offering free food, but the food is moldy cheese. A few homeless people will stop by if they're drunk enough and take a bite.
And then sue you for food poisoning.

My new blog will be filled with, as the title states, "The adventures and travels of a plain eater". I like to pretend the plain eater comment is a metaphor for my own plain life. But really it's a stolen idea from my friend Alex. And I am not cool enough for my own metaphor. If you have ventured onto this journal under the daft illusion that you will read a super cool travel blog where I post artsy photos of interesting Australian people. You are wrong. Or if you assume by my other title that this is a cooking blog where I post cute recipes for cupcakes with owl faces on them, you are wrong. I am a plain, boring person who will post a disturbing amount of pictures of my dog. I will share the woes of a plain eater who's condiments consist of salt and butter, who hangs out with cool people who actually like eating sushi and think bubble tea is tasty.

Are you hooked yet?

Perhaps you will also enjoy my posts of all the embarrassing things I accomplish on a daily basis (I have gotten into the shower with my underwear on more than once....this month) or my rants on the paranormal. I strongly believe in keeping a vast amount of salt in your home, not only for flavoring, but for protecting yourself from demons. And the smell of sulfur only tells me one thing; there has been a demon in your home, and you must go get your salt. You may also relate to my exciting daily adventures like today where I purchased a set of 32 markers that came with a free sketchpad and 4 EXTRA markers that are smelly.

I have two best friends, one being my dog. Who currently hates me because I put him on a diet and today took vengeance upon me by taking a dump and getting it stuck in his fur. I had to scrape it off with a stick. My second best friend is an opinionated, beer loving woman who puts up with nobodies shit and talks to me for 5 hours on the phone about ghosts. I nicknamed her Oprah, not because she is fat and black (she is neither) but because I like to state, "Oh, excuse me, Oprah is calling, I have to take this." So far, no one has fallen for it.

I have a boyfriend who is far cooler than I could ever hope to be, and who lives with me and our dog. It was beard at first sight. (I was the one with the beard) He has many cool friends who we hang out with every weekend and recently all took a road trip with. I always dreamed of taking a road trip with friends, but since I've only ever had one (excluding my dog), the occasion has never come to be. There's Jad, or Jab, or Chad, whichever you prefer, who has 12 Omar's in his contact list. Then there's Alex who is the brain child behind this blog and runs his own company. Amanda, who makes cute iphone cases and has an impeccable taste in fashion. And Ashley who I hung out with today while she wore nothing but a t-shirt and panties. Now, by this point, I bet you're wishing that any of those people were writing this blog, as they have far cooler lives than I do, but unfortunately you found mine.

So welcome to SALT AND BUTTER, adventures and travels of a plain eater. If you have made it this far, I congratulate you. And I ask to bare with me as I live my extremely boring life, drink an obnoxious amount of energy drinks, and scrape poop off of my dog's ass.

-Charlotte