Greetings my friends,
Much has been happening since my last post. Except not really. I feel like people always say that as an excuse to not post for weeks at a time. I have found a job! I sell furniture. It's like playing the Sims all day only you get paid, and you're not responsible for your customer's lives and baby makings. It's a long commute which means I spend hours a week on a bus that smells like cow poop and surrounded by Surrey freaks and geeks who carry knives and drink out of vodka bottles. So far I seem to have a knack for selling furniture, but I still continue to be a socially awkward penguin. Most of the time I think customers just feel bad for me because I stutter and stumble and then blush and say, "I'm new." Then they feel obligated to buy furniture from the obviously mentally challenged girl.

I have to dress in business casual. Which does not bode well on my closet or pay check. Mainly I show up for work wearing dresses that are a little too big for me and shuffle around in flats that are too small. No one at my work believes I am 23. They all assume I am under age. Perhaps because I look like a 16 year old dressing up in her mother's work clothes, or because I can't hold a normal conversation.
A coworker asked how can I be in retail if I never talk. I didn't answer.

Mitch and I have had a few adventures downtown, or going to the beach late at night. I still haven't been to the beach during the day time since I moved here. Woe is me. We went and saw City Hall which is where a bunch of the X-Files episodes were filmed. I wandered through the community garden pretending to be Scully, investigating the plants for any extraterrestrial life forms. Alas, there were none.

My work schedule has pretty much taken over my none existent life. I work 'till 9 almost every night and don't get home 'till almost 11. On Tuesday I had a day off and spent it in the library. Unfortunately on my trip back my bag broke and my books fell all over the sidewalk.
I thought that only happened in movies? Obviously Tom Hanks was not there to stoop down and help me pick them up then casually invite me for coffee where we would realize that we had in fact been anonymously emailing each other for months and falling in love.
No, wait, that's you've got mail.

Yesterday I had another day off and tried to read in the garden but the sun was so hot I felt like I was on fire. Also I didn't wait for my sun tan lotion to dry and so my legs became covered in little grass seeds which gave me hives. I am so sexy in the summer. I also managed to get into the shower with my glasses on, which was a first, but probably not the last. At least it wasn't my bra this time.

Today is my last day off. I have not left bed. I downloaded Devil Inside, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, and Dream House. I am currently downloading The Innkeepers and The Woman in Black. It is Friday the 13th and I am scaring myself shitless. But I must see these movies so that Oprah and I can have 4 hour long conversations about them. She is the only one who I know who will indulge my incessant need to discuss every aspect of American Psycho and what Stephen King said about the Blair Witch Project. I sometimes wish there was a totally normal, not weird way to make friends on the internet who loved horror movies as much as you do without having to make some sort of plenty of fish account. Or worrying about being downvoted on reddit.
I mean obviously I'm not having much luck over here in Surrey, all my coworkers are in their 40's, and anyone I meet on the street I am instantly convinced is going to stab me. Unless you count the filipino guy who works at the gas station and sings me show tunes and gets confused when I buy red bull instead of monster.
Not that Oprah isn't enough, she's all a girl can need in a best friend. But she lives in Calgary. And cannot drive here just to watch Friday the 13th movies with me and get drunk.

I've seen far too many crows in the past few weeks and I don't want to risk leaving the house in case of accidental death today.
And also because I'm convinced all my room mates and I are experiencing final destination after a very unfortunate friday night where we all came close to death in different experiences. I almost got stabbed alone on the bus, and the rest almost got in a car accident.
So needless to say, I've been warning everyone of the signs. Watch out for the number 180 and any slight breezes inside the house. Which is quite confusing with the fan on all day. DEATH? No, wait, air conditioning.

I could really use a soda and some ice cream though.....I guess the gas station isn't that far....