Day 2 - 31 - October Horror Movie Challenge

31 (2016)

In 120 seconds we will begin and all you have to do is survive 12 hours inside the walls of our own private little hell...

(There will be major spoilers so skip if you don't want to be spoiled)

Oh boy, I have waited a lonnnnnnng time to watch this movie. Back in the day when Zombie was first talking about he described it as 5 strangers get kidnapped on Halloween and are tormented by clowns while playing the game 31. And I was like....sign me the fuck up. And here we are like...what...three years later? And I finally got to watch it.

We open on Doom-Head monologuing like the psycho he is in black and white. He's covered in blood and he's talking to a very terrified priest tied to a chair. I ain't no fucking clown. It's a great intro, puts you completely in the mood for this movie.

In hell everyone loves popcorn.

Then it switches to our main group, who I'm thinking are some sort of carnies? It never really explains clearly who they are or really where they're going. Unless I totally missed something. Which is possible because while I was watching it I was also dog sitting three dogs and four cats. We learn it's Halloween, 1976. They stop at a gas station to fill up and Roscoe is approached by a woman who asks him about his RV and the group. After a flirtatious conversation the group head off.

Later that night they get stopped on the road because there's a bunch of scarecrows blocking the way. A couple of them get out to investigate and are suddenly attacked. Half of them are killed (thank god - there were waaaay too many characters) and 5 are kidnapped.

The 5 wake up chained in some sort of creepy mansion where two people stand above them dressed up in some old school french getup's. Massive powdery wigs and all. They inform them that they are now playing the game of 31. They have to survive the next 12 hours while they are hunted down by Sick-Head - a little person dressed up as Hitler. As you do.

They're released into a sort of underground boiler room type situation and run around while Sick-Head tries to kill them. Soon they take out Sick-Head and then two more clowns are introduced - this time its Psycho-Head and Schizo-Head, chainsaw wielding brothers. They lose one of their team but eventually defeat these two clowns as well. Next up is Sex-Head and Death-Head, two Germans wearing tutus. Sex-Head is the mysterious woman who approached them at the gas station. When the group finally defeats these two, losing one of their own, the wig wielding maniacs controlling this whole thing are forced to bring in Doom-Head as a last resort.

And let me tell you...Doom-Head is a life savior for this movie.

31 is kind of boring? I feel bad saying that because I'm a huge Zombie fan but it was pretty boring. It only really got exciting near the end when Doom-Head got involved.

Alright....so what did I love about this movie?

• I loved Charly and Venus, the two female leads. They were incredibly bad ass while the men just kind of ran around making fools of themselves, including accidentally eating one of their own friends when tricked into it. 
• I LOVED Doom-Head. He was serving some Negan realness. He was psychotic and it was an incredible performance by Richard Brake. He was hypnotic to watch and the only creepy thing about this film. Murder school is now in session.
• The costumes were well done, the imagery was great. Some of the scene setups were so cool - like the circus cage and the dining room.
• Ending - awesome. Charly vs. Doom-Head WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!?! I'm obsessed.  
• Malcolm McDowell DELIVERED as Father Murder. 
• The soundtrack is SO GOOD

What I didn't love?

• There was one scene where there was like a strobe light going off and it was awful to watch. It gave me a headache.
• A lot of the scenes were incredibly dark and distracting.
• You're left with a lot of questions - specifically who are these clowns? Are they new ones every year? Or is this the first time a group has been able to kill them. Are they also held hostage? Who was that blow-up doll girl? Where did she come from? Who the hell owns this much land in the middle of nowhere?

Overall?
As far as Rob Zombie movies go - this is a Zombie movie through and through. But it's not my favorite by a long shot. It's quite dull in the middle and it feels very unfinished in its story. Now, I am aware that the movie had to be cut three times just to hit an R rating, so I'm hoping one day we'll get a full directors cut type release where we can see it in all its glory, and perhaps a lot of the questions I had will be answered.

6/10

Stay spooky!