Upcoming Horror Movies - a completely biased list

Upcoming Horror Movies - a completely biased list

Let's take a look at the upcoming horror movies and the ones I'm excited for!
Aka this is a completely biased list of upcoming horror movies that I'm excited for but you may not be.
But that's how I role.

Of course - first up is the new Blair Witch. I am still shook from that reveal and I'm trying to be brave enough to go see this in theatres. Premiering September 16th this movie follows Heather's brother after he's sent a tape that supposedly shows Heather and her friends. The brother heads out to the Black Hills Woods with a group of his own friends and shit goes down.

I'm trying to ignore all the trailers and the hype about this film as I just want to see it myself and not let my expectations get in the way. Which is kind of why I want to see it in theatres as soon as possible.

I'm also hoping so hard that they don't show the witch, which rumor has it they don't.

Check out the latest episode of Shock Waves on iTunes where they sit down with the writer of this new Blair Witch, Simon Barrett.



Next up is Jack Goes Home which premiers on VOD and in select theatres October 14th. It has a phenomenal cast with Rory Culkin in the lead role as Jack, a guy whose Dad just died and now he's headed home to deal with everything. But when he gets home he finds a tape from his Dad telling him to go to the attic. When he heads up, shit gets wild. I'm guessing. The trailer doesn't reveal too much, thank god. It also stars Nikki Reed, Natasha Lyonne and Lin Shaye.



Then it's time for Rob Zombie's 31 which ya'll know I've been hyped on for a long time now. I can't WAIT to see this movie. It had an initial release on September 1st and some of the reviews I've read (people are SO critical of Zombie...what's with that?) say it's very "rob zombie" which to that I say....good? That's why I like his movies? The actual premier date, I believe, is October 21st but I don't think it's getting too wide of a release. So I'm hoping for a quick VOD release.

Sheri Moon Zombie of course stars in all her glory in a story about 5 carnival workers who are kidnapped and forced to play a game where only one of them can survive. There's violence, there's clowns, there's probably nudity.....I mean....gimme that VOD.


This next one I am EXTREMELY hesitant about because I despised the original. Ouija came out in 2014 and I turned it off half way through and angry blogged about. It was garbage. I was insulted. But damnit if this sequel doesn't look 100000 times better? I'm just a sucker for horror movies set in the 60's and I'm fascinated with the whole faking séances thing that used to happen a lot back then. Those con artists got so creative. And in this movie those fake séances turn into real ones after the mom brings home a Ouija board and her youngest daughter basically go nuts. It looks so good but I'm not holding my breath. It will probably be shit.
The movie is called Ouija: Origin of Evil and is premiering October 20th I think? Premier dates are so confusing.


Coming October 28th is the much awaited sequel/remake/reboot/who knows anymore to The Ring and The Ring 2 ....Rings. 14 years after the original adaptation we have a new story which is basically the same story. The video is no longer a V/H/S it's online and it still kills you after 7 days. Samara is still kicking around only this time it looks like she's trying to possess the main character instead of simply killing her. So maybe Samara is finally sick of living in the bottom of a well? We'll find out! Hooray! I'm really rooting for this one.


Shut In looks pretty spooky and intense so I'm adding that on here. Naomi Watts plays the mother, Jacob Tremblay plays the little boy and Charlie Heaton (aka baby Norman Reedus) plays her son. Naomi Watts' character is a widowed child psychologist who saves a little boy in a winter storm and then...he dies? I think? I have no idea, the trailer is kind of confusing but I am HERE for this spooky, isolated, winter horror film. Released on November 11th. Probably? Again, don't trust me on these dates.


It's been a great year for horror so far, and in fact horror movies were really the only ones who made a splash at the box office this summer. Looks like the rest of the year will hold up too!

Tomorrow Mitch is off to Victoria and my weekend of horror movie binge watching BEGINS!

Stay spooky!

ps; can I just toot my own horn for a second? look at all the videos I finally managed to embed....it's been a long, useless road...but we've made it.

Watching Tusk, Annabelle, Ouija, and The Purge Anarchy

Welp I'm four movies into my list...LET'S TALK ABOUT THEM!

First up:

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TUSK

My main man Kevin Smith wrote and directed this hot mess of a film. I spoke about it quite a bit in the original post but now I've seen it so here's where I'm at;
The first...40 minutes? were perfect. That golden Kev Smith banter, those long winded but glorious conversations, gorgeous scenery, crazy attention to detail, and all around super fun. I loved every minute of it. Then Johnny Depp showed up and my bae lost me. I knew from the minute I heard the rumors that this was a terrible idea. Because as soon as Mr. Depp shows up it becomes a Johnny Depp film and caters to him. Johnny Depp only plays Johnny Depp in a costume nowadays and this is the same shit, different wig. Kev lost me as soon as this happened, he really did. I watched it all the way through and I'm sure I'll watch it again BUT I'm bummed.
And the movie itself is great, like I said, flawless script and exactly what I expected. The first 40 minutes I could watch over and over and over. But that one character choice....over it. (Super bummed knowing that character will back for Yoga Hosers....and I swear to GOD if he puts Johnny Depp in Moose Jaws, I quit [I won't quit, i love you Kevin, I will never quit you])
Would I recommend this to anyone? hell no. If you're a fan of Kevin Smith and a follower of smodcast, you've already seen this film. And if you are neither of those two previously listed things...this movie isn't for you. It's super niche. Don't worry about it.

Rating?

six walrus mating calls out of justin long's mustache

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ANNABELLE

Oh boy this movie was FUN! There weren't as many jump scares (barely any) as The Conjuring but the imagery that you're shown will stay with you a hella of a lot longer. I found myself going to bed that night (jk i watched it in bed, i'm a slob, but actually turning off the lights and going to sleep etc) and seeing certain moments in my mind and getting fuhreaked out. The story made sense mostly, it got a little confusing piecing the history together with the opening scene of The Conjuring but that might just be me. The imagery was stunning, the colors were so on point, and Annabelle managed to not cross that border into cheesy. It all felt so realistic. There's a scene where our main lady is hiding in an elevator and she keeps hitting the top floor and the elevator door will open but it's the basement every single time...OMG every time that door opened I was shitting myself. Loved the cult aspect a lot, I'm always complaining about the lack of good and scary cult movies (thank you for changing my life The Sacrament [and Red State baby!]). It also had a bit of a Rosemary's Baby vibe.
The husband was really weird? I was convinced even when the movie finished that husband was possessed the entire time. What a weirdo. He was so off. I mean he wasn't possessed, and there was nothing wrong with him, butttt...I'm suspicious.

Rating?

9 demonic possessions out of all knowing exorcism priests

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OUIJA

I mean...what do you wanna know about this movie? It's cliche. It's boring. It's frustratingly bad. It's filled with 25 year olds playing teenagers. I actually turned this off about 50 minutes in. And yeah, I made it that far, maybe I should've toughed it out but Netflix got Hoarders so....ya know...priorities.
The dialogue was useless, the premise was over done. And like...how many movies are we going to have where people just show up at insane asylums and talk to the victims? Do insane asylums let anyone in these days?
"yeah, hey, my house is hella haunted and one of your patients probably knows something about it, i don't know them and i'm not related to them, that cool?"
"yeah it's cool, come on in"
Come on guys. OH and the fucking kid goes to research who died in the house and within seconds he's like "here's an article from 1940 about the mysterious death of a little girl...this is who's haunting our house"
WHAT?! What kind of voodoo google is he using?
Whatever, I'm over it.

Rating?

0 trailers showing the scariest bits out of cliched back stories

And last but not least (I just finished it half an hour ago):

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THE PURGE: ANARCHY

Well this fucking movie blew all the others out of the water. Goddamn. This movie was SO GOOD. This one focuses way more on the class systems and the struggles of power between the classes and the government. And it's terrifying because you totally know if America ever put through a Purge, this is exactly what would go down. I loved having so many diverse characters (and not just a bunch of white people running around screaming), I loved all the takes on how different people in society purge. It had horrifying imagery, a few good jumps, but mostly it was just an edge of your seat thriller. AND OMG that ending. SUCH TENSION. MUCH EMOTION. I straight up cried. It was so satisfying and brilliant and I already want to watch it again. I love The Purge franchise and I can't wait for number three. And hey, maybe if they get a few more, it might replace Final Destination in my heart (but probably not).
Like I wanna talk about this movie so much but I can't form words about it. I just want to make a lot of hand motions and kind of grunt?

Rating?

10 gutter traps out of vigilantes

So yeah, good run so far except for Ouija which I will take to hell with me. Just making my way through the list and trying not to add too many more before I get confused. Enjoying horror movies again is giving me life. This last week and especially today has been just awful. That gypsy curse of mine is kicking back in lately and I think that's when I turn to horror movies the most. Because hey, my life may be shit, but at least I'm not being turned into a walrus, and at least the ghost in my house doesn't trap me in elevators. It could always be worse ~~

what i'm watching next (spoiler alert; it's horror movies)

This happens every year - I binge watch horror movies from July to October and then purge on TV shows for November and December. But here we are, new year, new month, and my incredible urge to constantly watch horror movies is back.

So here's the ones I'll be delving into for the next little while:

TUSK

From my beloved Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier comes perhaps the weirdest film of the year; Tusk. I remember listening to the podcast that sparked it all, walking to the grocery store and back one sunny afternoon and thinking fuck I hope he goes through with this. And here we are. If nothing else, Kevin Smith delivers. I've heard not so great things, and I've heard amazing things about this movie. But I know I will love it because Kevin Smith gets me on a spiritual level. MY BODY IS READY (to turn into a walrus).

OUIJA

I know this movie will be average. I feel it in my soul. When I watched the trailer it showed me the entire movie including all the scary parts. I fucking hate when horror movies do that. And it makes me worry the movie itself is lackluster and a waste of time. BUT I also have this itch that tells me it might be in the same kind of boat as Final Destination, as in teens getting murdered in gruesome ways with typical jump scares and a "clever" twist of an ending. And I'm one hell of a sucker for those types of films.

ANNABELLE 

I am so excited for this moooovieeeeee. I love everything and anything to do with the Warrens' and their cases. I absolutely adored The Conjuring and I've heard this film has the same type of beautiful imagery and subtle but terrifying scares. I want to be SCARED by Annabelle or at least enjoy the shit out of it.

JESSABELLE

All I remember about this movie is the main character is in a wheel chair, it's set in the Louisiana swamps (maybe?) and the mom dies leaving something for her daughter (I think?). Idk. I watched the trailer months and months ago. But I was intrigued. And a little southern ghost story sits just right with me.

THE PURGE: ANARCHY

The sequel to The Purge. Basically same shit different streets right? But I loved the first one, and I'm fully aware the second one will be the same kind of stuff, and I still want to see it and enjoy it. Simple as that! (I hope).

HOUSEBOUND

A horror movie from New Zealand I heard about in 2013. Somewhat comedy, somewhat horror. The story of a girl moving back in with her parents and finding out the house is haunted. My knowledge is minor on this but I've read some great reviews.

DRACULA UNTOLD

This is just guilty pleasure because I think the lead guy is gorgeous. I will probably hate this movie, I probably won't get all the way through. But I'm willing to try. For like half an hour. Honestly, I don't even know why I put this on here.

WILLOW CREEK

A BIG FOOT MOVIE THAT'S ACTUALLY SCARY. I hope. Also I just realized there's a lack of found footage film on this list which is refreshing but this one is found footage so there goes that. Something about a couple in the woods, maybe the wife believes, maybe the husband doesn't? idk. that might just be an episode of Finding Big Foot. Regardless, I remember being excited for this one.

V/H/S VIRAL

The end of a beautiful, terrifying, bizarre, refreshing anthology trilogy of found footage with multiple directors. And this ending doesn't look like it dissapoints. Wasn't it something about a video of an ambulance going viral so everyone tries to make viral videos and shit goes wack? Isn't there a scene with a girl in the shower and then she dissapears and there's a lot of blood?
Guess I'll find out.

EXTRATERRESTRIAL

AN ALIEN MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love alien movies. Oh god, I love them so much. This also might be found footage? Honestly, all I remember from the trailer was a dude getting straight up PROBED and I couldn't even.

You know what this list taught me?
My memory is terrible. I watch too many trailers. I cannot wait to binge horror movies again.

(Edited Jan. 22) Adding to the list:
The Canal
The Guest