After Christmas Horror Movie Realness

Alright, I've got my list together. Starting this Monday (Boxing Day) once Mitch leaves for the airport I will begin my END OF CHRISTMAS HORROR REALNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've sorted through all the movies that came out this year that I haven't watched yet that I do want to watch and come up with 11. I've got the day down for which I'll watch them. I'm back to work Wednesday to Friday so only one per day during that time.

Obviously this may change as I haven't bothered to check the availability of these movies and we all know I can't commit to anything.

BUT...if you want to join in...here's the list:

The Autopsy of Jane Doe - Monday

Don't Breathe - Monday

Yoga Hosers - Monday

Lights Out - Tuesday

I am Not a Serial Killer - Tuesday

The Disappointments Room - Tuesday

Blair Witch - Wednesday

Before I Wake - Thursday 

Ouija: Origin of Evil - Friday

The Other Side of the Door - Saturday

Friend Request - Saturday

See you losers after Christmas and let the horror movie marathon...BEGIN!

Stay spooky!

Stephen King mass news post...I'M UPDATING YOU!

GUYS I'M ALIVE
Bet you thought I'd fallen into a volcano and died in Kauai. Well...I didn't. But I did come home to a lot of work and then Christmas shopping and then crying because I'm poor and then Star Wars happened and I blacked out for a bit....

BUT I'M BACCCCKKKKKK

Let's talk about some horror news since I promote that I share that stuff and then never do.....

Honestly, this blog and my life is a mess but that's why you guys love me right? RIGHT?!

Today we're going to delve into some Stephen King news because ya'll know he's my fav and we've got a lot going on right now. It feels like they're adapting every single story they can get their hands on.

But first I would like you to view the following photo because it is my new favorite photo of all time and is currently my phone background:

Stephen and Molly aka the Thing of Evil. And if you don't think I day dream about my corgi Obie becoming best friends with Molly, you don't know me at all.

Obviously next year we'll be getting IT and The Dark Tower, but could a possible biopic be in our future? 
It wouldn't be surprising after all and recently it's been released that there are currently TWO King biopic scripts on the black list. This is a list of the hottest, unproduced screenplays which are just waiting to be picked up. One script is set in the 70's and the other 80's. The first one, currently titled Kings of Maine sounds like more of before pic and would follow King as he attempts to complete Carrie.

The second script is called Maximum King! and honestly sounds pretty bad. It's described as "outlandish and surreal" and follows King directing Maximum Overdrive. Which we all know was a coke fueled fit of madness.

Hmmmm...might still be too soon for a King biopic considering my boy is still pumping out books yearly and shows no sign of stopping. But if ya'll need someone to direct or be a consultant, you know where to find me.

Next up on the 'Stephen King to be made' is Revival, a wonderful book that came out in 2014. And honestly this book gave me so much joy because it felt like old school King in every way. Briefly - it follows a Preacher who has lost his faith after his wife and child are killed in an accident. He becomes obsessed with the healing power of electrical currents and becomes a faith healer on the carnival route.

Josh Boone, who was attached to The Stand remake but is now putting that on the back burner, will be working on this. And guess who they're looking at for the lead role.....Russell Crowe. I can totally see that. Boone is currently working on New Mutants though so this might not be for awhile yet.

Another adaptation you say? Why yes! And this time it's Mr. Mercedes which I hated the first time I read it and loved the second time. Hated is a strong word. I didn't hate it. I just...I was angry it was a trilogy and it felt very....un-king-like. But once the trilogy came together I was back on board and now I love all three of those books. This adaptation will be a drama series following a killer who taunts a retired police detective. It's been announced Kelly Lynch will play the killer's mother which is an incredibly interesting role. Anton Yelchin was also set to star in this series but since 2016 is the year to end all years, he tragically passed away. Brendan Gleeson has also been cast as I'm assuming Bill Hodges which is AMAZING. Spot on casting.

The Dark Tower film has been delayed from February until July. And if it's to give the movie more attention before releasing it, I'm fully supportive of this. While this is not a direct adaptation of the books it will be continuation. Which I'm not sure what that really means just yet. But I'm EXCITED.


The casting is incredible - Idris Elba (who I met on a plane once!!!!), Matthew McConablahblahblah and Jackie Earle Haley. But I am crossing my fingers and toes for the success of this one.

1922 is currently being adapted by Netflix which is some bad ass news. 1922 is FUCKED UP. It's a short story/novella situation and it is creepy as hell. I don't even want to give you a synopsis for fear of ruining it...just read it. Netflix has announced that Thomas Jane (from The Mist) is joining and so is Molly Parker. They're about to start filming here in Vancouver!!

Another King/Netflix combo coming is Gerald's Game which makes me cringe because I don't think anyone could adapt this book. I'm willing to be proven wrong but I'm pretty confident I won't be. Gerald's Game is literally one woman handcuffed to a bed for the entirety of the book. It's an amazing story, don't get me wrong, although I read it for the first time when I was waaaay too young and had a lot of questions. But for a movie? Give me a break. The only hope I have? It's being directed by Mike Flanagan. That man is incredible.

Obviously we've got the IT remake coming next year which I am incredibly excited for. Instead of being set in the 1950's and 1980's, it will be the 80's and present day and it will be released in two parts just like the original TV miniseries. Last I heard it was being previewed to select audiences but I want to go in completely unbiased and nonjudgmental so fingers crossed this King fan will be happy.

Alright,
That's it for me tonight. Christmas is this Saturday and then Mitch leaves to Edmonton on Boxing Day leaving me with the dogs alone for a week. I'm thinking of planning some sort of 5 day horror movie binge to watch all the ones I missed this year. But I'm not making any promises cause I'm the worst but I'll keep you updated!

Stay spooky!

Day 31 - Halloween - Horror Movie Challenge

HALLOWEEN (2007)

Inside every one us, there exists a dark side. Most people rise above it, but some are consumed by it. Until there is nothing left, but pure evil. 

It's Halloween in Haddonfield and young Michael is living inside an abusive home and being picked on at school. But today he's had enough. After murdering one of his bullies in the woods he goes home to trick or treat. Unfortunately his sister Judith isn't interested in taking him, his mom Deb is at work at the strip club and Deb's boyfriend is drunk and in a wheelchair. Michael heads out by himself but it isn't the same. When he gets home, Ronnie, Deb's boyfriend taunts Michael until he kills him by taping him up and slitting his throat. Next up is Judith's boyfriend, and then Judith, who he stabs 17 times.

Deb arrives home to find her son sitting outside covered in blood and holding his baby sister in his arms, who he didn't harm.

Michael is of course found guilty but placed into Smith's Grove Sanitarium under the care of Dr. Samuel Loomis. Michael doesn't remember anything from Halloween night and works with Dr. Loomis, but soon slips into his own mind. His Mom visits him every week but as Michael gets worse and worse and stops speaking and becomes obsessed with making and wearing masks, his Mom and Dr. Loomis are giving up. Then one day Michael kills a nurse violently and Deb can't take it anymore, she goes home and commits suicide, leaving her youngest daughter behind.

Over the next 15 years Michael lives in the Sanitarium making masks quietly. Loomis attempts multiple times over the years to reach him but it never works. Then one day Michael snaps after being tormented by a guard and his drunk cousin and kills them. He's able to escape and heads home, which is now an abandoned house that local residents are scared of.

His baby sister who was left orphaned has been taken in by the Strodes who live down the street and renamed Laurie. She's got a good life now but little does she know that her murderous brother has returned home and is watching her.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• Daeg Faerch puts on a powerhouse of a performance as young Michael Myers and Tyler Mane makes Michael even more terrifying as an adult, if that's even possible. At 6'9" he's a horrific slowly walking force.
• Amazing soundtrack, but that's usually to be expected from Rob Zombie.
• Sheri Moon Zombie can honestly do no wrong in my eyes and she's best in these strong but beaten down women type roles.
• The backstory on Michael is a refreshing touch on the series, seeing what made him into the psycho he is, and seeing how his Mother was left to deal with the aftermath of it all.
• Malcolm McDowell is so fucking great as Loomis.

What didn't I love?

• Waaaay too long. Slasher flicks have no business being over 2 hours.

Overall?

Firstly, ya'll know I'm a big Rob Zombie fan so I'm not here for your hate. Secondly, every year I always end the horror movie challenge with Halloween so this year I thought I'd shake it up with the remake.

I love the remake. I think Zombie did a great job putting his touch on it, like I mentioned above I love the backstory, the depth of Michael Myers. I get why it can be scarier to have no idea why he snapped at 10 years old and stalk Laurie for 100 movies. BUT I do love that we also have this option to watch to learn more about why he did what he did. We get to learn about the mask - why it's so important to Michael and why he hides behind it, such a devastating concept. And our hearts break watching Deb's horrific life and devastating ending.

Is this a Rob Zombie film? Yes. You can feel it in every conversation, every scene, every actor choice etc. But is it a good Rob Zombie film? Yes! It's a slasher flick with 17 violent kills and lots of spooky moments, but it's also a think piece with the prequel part of the film.

I adore this remake and believe it can sit side by side with the original series. Is it better than the original? Of course not! But there's room for both.

9/10

I've got two days left of my vacation and then I'm headed home! Highlight of this week so far? Getting to fly to the waterfall used in Jurassic Park in a helicopter! It's on protected land and can only be reached by helicopter and you have to wear protective booties on your shoes to protect the environment. It's absolutely beautiful and was honestly the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.

And here's a pic! Don't judge me for my fanny pack and safety vest wrapped around my waist:

Day 30 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch - October Horror Movie Challenge

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

 Halloween... the festival of Samhain! The last great one took place three thousand years ago, when the hills ran red... with the blood of animals and children. 

It's October 23rd and a man is taken into emergency, Dr. Dan Challis looks over him but that night a mysterious man appears and kills the sick man. When the doctor runs outside to try and catch him, the madman sets himself on fire.

On October 24th, the dead guys' daughter Ellie arrives and speaks to Dan. The two of them agree something isn't right about the way her father died and set out to investigate. They track back the last few days of her father's life which leads them to a small town called Santa Mira. The company Silver Shamrock Novelties has a factory there where they create awesome Halloween masks that all the kids are buying up this year.

A woman staying in the room next to them is suspicious of the masks and finds a microchip in the one she's studying. It kills her and while Dan and Ellie are trying to help, they're pushed away by a strange group of men dressed in lab coats.

The two realize that the Silver Shamrock has something to do with all this and go on a tour of the factory. But what they find in the factory is shocking and may destroy the entire world on Halloween night.

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• The awesome music by John Carpenter that plays throughout the whole movie.
• Halloween plays twice on the TV in this film...SO META...
• The annoying Silver Shamrock tune is amazing and constantly stuck in my head. Remind me to play that over and over during the last week of Halloween next year.
• There's a fight scene and the fake punch noises are so bad that they are amazing.

What didn't I love?

• Mostly just the logic of this movie....
• How did the car explode? Homeboy lit himself on fire and then the car exploded. I mean...what kind of dramatic nonsense?
• Ellie and Dan start hooking up immediately? Like okay, let's track down your dead dads last days...so romantic?
• When Dan first sees what happens to the kids wearing the masks....how do the giant snakes happen? Like how does a mask create giant snakes?
• SO MANY QUESTIONS

 Overall?

Obviously this film is famous purely for not having Michael Myers in it at all but still being a part of the Halloween franchise. It's easier just to watch this one as a random Halloween plot to kill everyone movie and forget you're watching the third installment of a slasher franchise. In fact it takes another six years for Michael to even return, in the fourth movie - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.

It's not even really horror - it's more of a sci-fi, folk lore type tale what with all the lasers and robots. It does have a decent amount of gore though. Particularly the scene at the beginning where the Shamrock robot dude thing just shoves his fingers through Ellie's Dad's eyes. Also...you know...violence against children which, if you read this blog, you know I'm always a big supporter of in horror movies.

When it was first released critics and fans alike hated this flick, but overtime we've all learned to appreciate it for what it is. Just your basic 80's horror/sci-fi movie trying to take a stand on large corporations and the mass consumerism of America.

This little nugget was directed by Tommy Lee Wallace and was his first film, previously he had worked on the Halloween series but as a production designer and art director. He then went on to direct the amazing miniseries It, released in 1990.

Really it's just a great little Halloween flick that does what it set out to do and is a fun watch.

7/10

Still at it over here in Kauai! I have one more review to post and then the October horror movie challenge is done and OVER WITH. I have a giant list of blog posts I need to write after that but I'll save those for when I get home. SO MANY THINGS TO TALK ABOUT YA'LL!

Yesterday I got to explore a creepy ass cave that reminded me of The Descent so much I freaked myself out.

Stay Spooky!

Day 29 - An American Werewolf in London - October Horror Movie Challenge

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)

The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It's boring! I'm lonely! Kill yourself, David, before you kill others.

David and Jack are two college kids from America who have decided to backpack across the moors. They find a pub called The Slaughtered Lamb filled with unfriendly locals and a pentagram on the wall. Jack decides to ask them about the pentagram but it instantly turns the locals even more hostile and the boys leave after being warned to stay off the moors and beware the moon. Out on the moors (because these are two american students who don't listen) they are quickly attacked by a large wolf-like animal and Jack is killed.

David wakes up in a London hospital three weeks later not remembering what happened and a police inspector tells him he was attacked by an escape lunatic who was then shot by the locals. But David is sure he was attacked by a wolf and the scratches on his body make sense with this memory. Then suddenly Jack appears to David as a corpse and tells him that David is about to turn into a werewolf and to just kill himself before the full moon.

As the full moon quickly approaches, is London in danger? Is David really going to turn into a werewolf or is he losing his mind? And what are the locals hiding?

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• The scene where the boys enter the pub for the first time and everyone turns and stares at them. I have totally experienced this in small pubs in England. It's intense.  
• The transformation of course is ground breaking and still stunning when watched this day.
• I loved Nurse Alex, played by Jenny Agutter.
• Really great soundtrack!

What didn't I love?

• This is advertised as a horror comedy, but I totally missed the comedy element. Sure there were some great British dry moments but other than that I kept forgetting it was supposed to be a comedy. 
• I liked Jack way more than David and was bummed when Jack died so quickly.
  

Overall?

First time watching this movie and I kind of wish I'd watched it earlier when I was younger. I didn't fall in love with it like I'd hoped. I get why this is a classic and I mean, that transformation scene....goddamn. In fact the makeup in this film won the first ever Oscar for Best Makeup.

It's a great little flick and mad props to John Landis for writing and directing it and even bigger props to the special effects done by Rick Baker.

I'm thinking the more I watch this film the more it will grow on me. It probably didn't help I watched this for the first time on a plane which isn't reallllly the best place to watch horror movies which I keep learning.

I will re-watch for sure.

7/10

I'm here in Kauai! I've had an amazing time so far so apologies for the delay of the last three movie reviews but they are coming, I promise. I also watched Stitches yesterday when I had some down time and I want to talk about that one!

So far here I've been stung by a jelly fish, found a creepy house and secret river, saw dolphins out in the wild and seen a lot of gorgeous land. Also today I visited a crumbled temple where locals back in the day used to speak to the Gods.

Stay spooky!

Day 28 - Christine - October Horror Movie Challenge

CHRISTINE (1983)

Let me tell you a little something about love, Dennis. It has a voracious appetite. It eats everything. Friendship. Family. It kills me how much it eats. But I'll tell you something else. You feed it right, and it can be a beautiful thing, and that's what we have. 

Arnie is a loser in high school with his one long time friend Dennis who's on the football team and has a girlfriend. But Arnie's pretty content, he's more focused on buying a car. One catches his eye, a 1958 Plymouth Fury nicknamed Christine. It's pretty banged up but Arnie buys it, despite Dennis telling him not to, and his parents refusing to let him park it in their driveway. He ends up renting a space where he can work on Christine and rebuilds her to her former glory.

But the more time Arnie spends with Christine, the more he changes. He gets rid of his dorky glasses, he dresses better, becomes more confident which turns into arrogance. Dennis does a little research and discovers that the previous owner of Christine became obsessed with her as well and eventually died in her.

A group of bullies at Arnie's high school, who look to be middle aged men but sure we'll say they're in high school, decide to vandalize Christine. Arnie is of course completely devastated by this but watches in awe as Christine magically begins to mend herself.

But now enemies of Arnie are mysteriously being killed and people are saying they're seeing Christine out and about, with no one driving. Dennis is becoming very worried about his friend and how much he's changed. Will Christine claim another owner?

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• I mean....it's a Stephen King adaptation...that's actually good.
• Artie when he's in his nerd form is so cute. And his transformation throughout the film is genius. A beautiful display of acting. In the scene where he picks up Dennis near the end and they go for that terrifying drive on the highway, the look in his eyes is completely mental.
• That epic scene where Christine is on fire and chasing after that 40 year old John Travolta lookalike....beauty of a scene.
• All of the acting in this movie is great really.

What didn't I love?

• Honestly, nothing. It's a pretty damn great film.

Overall?

Christine, directed by the ever amazing John Carpenter, is of course based on the novel by Stephen King. In fact during this time Stephen King was so popular that the film went into production before the book had even been released.

Unfortunately the reception at the time of this film was dismal. Stephen King fans weren't happy (but when are they?) and neither were John Carpenter fans. But I think this movie holds up over time and I really enjoyed it. I remember reading the novel when I was about 15 but actually watched the movie a few years before when I was 12. It's fun to re-visit and I'll have to re-read the book later this year as Christine is one of the only Stephen King books I've only read once.

Also...the actor who played Arnie, Keith Gordon, also acted in Jaws 2! Double booking this week!

Christine is a fun return to the 80's and I recommend people taking a re-watch because it's really become a classic I think.

8/10

Alright, I'm off to the airport! See you fools tomorrow when I'll be reporting from a beach. Except reality will be from my hotel room because I actually don't love beaches. I'm just there for the dolphins and the Jurassic Park island, and the haunted abandoned temple.

Stay spooky!

Day 27 - Jaws The Revenge - October Horror Movie Challenge

JAWS THE REVENGE (1987)

When there is no factor motivating an event, no case of cause creating effect, what triggered the action: fate or circumstance? What you are about to see concerns such an event. Maybe you can determine whether we are dealing here, with circumstances, or fate.

SURPRISE...we're back at Amity. Brody has died of a heart attack leaving his wife Ellen and his two sons Sean and Mike behind. Mike is married with a young daughter and Sean is engaged. Sean is following in his Dad's footsteps and is a police deputy but one night when he's clearing a log from a buoy a great white shark attacks and kills him.

Ellen has a complete breakdown, and rightfully so, believing that this shark intentionally targeted Sean because clearly this family has killed more sharks than any other family on this planet. After the funeral, Mike takes Ellen back to the Bahamas with his family. Which doesn't really make much sense as Ellen is now convinced they're being stalked by a shark. BUT OKAY. Maybe try something inland next time?

At the island Ellen falls in love with a dashing, carefree airplane pilot while Mike gets back to work as a marine biologist. But as life begins to settle Mike encounters the same shark that attacked and killed Sean.

How is this possible? And is this shark really out to get the whole Brody family? And is Ellen mentally connected to the shark? WHAT AM I EVEN WATCHING...

Alright...what did I love about this movie?

• Michael Caine playing Hoagie?! WTF?! What a happy surprise. He honestly made this movie for me.
• Lorraine Gary is back as Ellen Brody and absolutely nuts but kicking ass!
• The flashbacks were sweet and emotional.

What didn't I love?

• Wtf was going on with that psychic connection? And are you telling me this shark swam all the way from Amity to the Bahamas to kill the Brody family? Who the fuck is this shark?
• There was not enough shark attacks in this movie. So much dialogue, so much character development, KILL SOMEONE ALREADY.
• This movie basically pretends Jaws 3D never happened. Which is fair.

Overall?

Basically this movie is usually what happens when you're four films deep into a franchise. You try and flip the story on its head and the creature becomes more and more powerful. We see it with Freddy, we see it with Michael Myers, after a certain amount of movies they basically become god like. This is what happens here. You're given a shark that is apparently so powerful it's become sort of psychic and all being.

The story was fun at first but then got boring and then got fun and then the shark exploded.

Weirdly enough...out of all the Jaws sequels I think Jaws 3-D was my favorite? Then Jaws 2 and then this one.

5/10

Tomorrow I fly to Kauai and try to become a shark whisperer! And today was my Halloween extravaganzaaaaaaa. I will keep blogging for the rest of this challenge. I'll just be doing it from another country.

Here's some photos from today:

My coworkers' husband made me my own banner because I am the Halloween QUEEN.

At one point I removed my Negan costume, put on a cape, then wore a spider like a backpack and then stole a skull staff....why? because I'm the Queen of Halloween...

Also our office neighbors pranked us after we pranked them but they did it better. This is one part of it and I love him. We are putting him at my desk while I'm gone. Won't be much difference. I LOVE YOU TALENTCORPSE!!!!!!!!

Stay Spooky!