I Know What You Did Last Weekend....and it wasn't great...

Hey everyone! Despite the never ending tooth pain I dealt with this weekend which meant no sleep and no food...I ended up having a good weekend otherwise. Just smile and cry through the pain ya'll. Not only did I watch some great horror movies, I picked up some great horror stuurrrff:

Preacher Book One - I want to read the comics before watching the show. And N0S4A2 which is the only Joe Hill book I haven't read yet.

The gorgeous director's cut of Zodiac on blu-ray. The special features includes three documentaries!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's everything I want out of special features. And how beautiful is that cover?!

And I found this gorgeous War of the Worlds record in my alley. It's moving in/out weekend in our apartment building and the surrounding ones so everyone's just dumping their stuff. We also got a good as new TV stand and a rocking chair so I can live Psycho realness.

Anyway, the reason I'm actually here is to talk about a 90's slasher classic:

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

"Listen, you little shit-stick-mayberry-ass reject. There's been a murder, and you are going to fry in hell if you ignore it!"

Coming out in 1997, I Know What You Did Last Summer was one of the last great slasher's that came out of the 90's. It's based off of the young adult novel by the same name, written by Lois Duncan. It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, and Freddie Prinze Jr in the lead roles. All four of them were massive stars in the 90's and that just shows how prominent horror was in that decade. The screenplay was written by the same guy who wrote Scream, Kevin Williamson, and was directed by Jim Gillespie

There was a terrible sequel a year later, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, but we're not here to talk about that.

IKWYDLS tells the story of four high-school seniors who are celebrating the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. After a rowdy party and a get together at the beach, the four of them pile into Barry's car (Phillipe). While driving down a twisted road and all screaming and partying, they hit a person. Julie (Hewitt) thinks they should call the cops but Ray (Prinze), Helen (Gellar) and Barry come to the conclusion that hiding it would be much easier. So the teens dump the body in the ocean and begin to move on with their lives.

One year later, Julie arrives home for summer from her college and finds a threatening note that reads....you guessed it..."I know what you did last summer". The four friends have to band together despite everything and try and solve the mystery of who it is they apparently didn't kill, while people around them begin to get killed one by one.

This was a staples of the 90's. I remember watching it at like 13 years old and just being so terrified and loving every moment of it. But unfortunately, for me, it doesn't hold up. Scream will always hold up for me and is fun to watch no matter what. But as this was my first time watching IKWYDLS in probably ten years or so, I was looking at it with fresh eyes. I couldn't remember who the killer was or really much of the story. I found myself getting quite bored. There's also not as many kills in the film as I remember, and the story of the killer and who they are is kind of garbage? If you really think about it, it doesn't make too much sense.

The kills themselves are fun, the weapon of choice is a fish hook so there's lots of gutting. And there's lots of those fun moments where you're yelling at the screen...DON'T GO IN THERE YOU IDIOT or JUST JUMP OVERBOARD YOU WEIRDO...etc.

I think the only reason I like this movie is because I have fond memories of watching it in my basement as a kid, with the lights off, getting super freaked out.

I would say....watch it if you haven't. But if you have fond memories of watching it in the 90's....don't re-watch it.

Alright, I'm off to go bury myself in blankets and cry about tooth pain and how I can't just eat a giant bag of chips. I've got a big pile of DVD's sitting by my TV and a few on my desktop to get to. Reviews to come!

Stay spooky!

Murder Crows, Alien Covenants, and Michael Myers?

It's a very gloomy and rainy Saturday here in Vancouver and I'm up very early with tooth pain, because this is the bane of my existence. So let's talk about some horror news from the week!!

HORROR NEWS OF THE WEEK WRAP UP

Right now somewhere in the world (New Zealand I think?) Ridley Scott is filming Alien: Covenant. We've heard lots of gossip and chat about how this film will be and we've all seen some great concept art. But today we get our first officially released shot from set. The photo is of a production monitor and shows Katherine Waterston laying against the wall with a weapon against her leg:

Alien: Covenant if of course the sequel to Prometheus which was released in 2012. The new film will be the second in a trilogy and is set on a remote planet where the crew of the colony ship Covenant discovers what they think is an uncharted paradise, but is of course...not what it seems.

The cast will be made up of Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterson, Demian Bichir, Danny McBride, Alex England, Billy Crudup, Amy Seimetz, Jussie Smollett, Carmen Ejogo and Callie Hernandez. 
In a recent interview, Michael Fassbender who will be returning as David, mentioned that the sets have "an old school element where things look battered..." And when asked about David returning, Fassbender said "He is creepy. And he's back in a whole new way." 

Oh, and! Scott has mentioned that we will be seeing all the fan favorites; the egg, facehugger, and chestburster. SAY IT AINT SO THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL!


Rated a "hard R", look for Alien: Covenant next year on August 4th. 

If you've read this blog...you know I absolutely adore Stephen King. BUT...I cannot stand the obsession with making Stephen King stories into unnecessary TV shows. But low and behold, here comes the next one:

In 2014 King put out the first book in a new trilogy (the third coming out next month) called Mr. Mercedes about a psychopath who wants to blow up a concert filled with thousands of people, mostly young girls (it's a One Direction type band). Bill Hodges, a retired detective, is our lead who is sent mysterious mail from someone threatening a massive attack and must try and stop this from happening.

Now it's being turned into a TV series by the dude who created Ally McBeal and Boston Legal....David E. Kelley. His only toe into horror is that he wrote the Lake Placid movie. Attached as the stars are Brendan Gleeson from 28 Days Later and Anton Yelchin from Fright Night. It's going straight to series with a 10 episode order and will premier in 2018.

All I'm going to say is....WHY? WHAT IS THE POINT? The books are amazing and a thrill ride to read (now I really want to re-read this before the final book next month) and it will not work as a TV series.

ANGERRRRRRRRR

Also, something a little fun....
Here in Vancouver we have a famous crow called Canuck. He can be spotted by the red band that's around his ankle and he's known for being incredibly friendly but also a bit of a pain around here.

Canuck is constantly fucking with the police by flying into their police cars and trying to steal the keys off of the keyboards, he tears down police tape. Canuck has also gotten onto the sky train before and gone for a ride, attacked a cyclist, and tries to appear in news interviews by landing on reporter's shoulders. He's kind of the best.

Canuck is in the news again this week because after the VPD responded to a car fire in a parking lot, they were confronted by a man armed with a knife. The man came running at the officers who then shot him and took him into custody. Canuck decided to help out by grabbing the knife, which is an important piece of evidence, and tried to fly away with it. Oh, Canuck, you adorable murder crow.

(this is not the knife from the crime scene, this is another knife that Canuck found. He seems to really like them....)

AND NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS OF ALL....

Michael Myers is coming home ya'll!!!!!!!!!! After launching in 1978, spawning 7 sequels, one remake with its own sequel....it's finally coming back.

Only this time it's in the safest hands - Jason Blum (founder of Blumhouse) working with franchise producer Malek Akkad and Miramax and Trancas International Films.

Oh yeah....and John Carpenter himself is signed on as an Executive Producer. Jason Blum describes him as the "Godfather" of the project. Carpenter, at the press conference, said "Halloween needs to return to its traditions, I feel like the movies have gotten away from that...Michael is not just a human being; he's a force of nature, like the wind. That's what makes him so scary."

Obviously this is all in its earliest stages but Blum mentioned that the film would be produced on a modest budget, which Carpenter prefers. "38 years later, I'm going to help to try to make the tenth sequel the scariest of them all." It's also rumored that Carpenter will be composing the music for the film which would just be the cherry on top of this perfect cake.

So yeah, that's pretty amazing. It's been a good week in horror! I'm going to venture out into the rain and go dive into the $5 bins at Best Buy to see if I can find any horror goodies, and also pick up The Witch.

Stay spooky!

Man Vs. terrible CG effects

Guys, I watched a movie last night. I went in blindly. And it took a really bad left turn 3/4's of the way through and I was not prepared.
The movie I'm talking about...

MAN VS. 

Man Vs. is a Canadian horror film directed and co-written by Adam Massey who uses a nice mix of "found-footage" and regular format to twist a tale of a man stranded in the woods. Chris Diamantopoulos stars in the lead (and basically only) role in the film and does a tremendous job. I know him from playing the handsome sound guy in The Office. But he's also been in Arrested Development, Episodes, and About a Boy. 

Alright I'm just going to give you a run down of this film because I don't want to review it badly. I'm happy I watched it and I enjoyed most of it. So bare with me.

Obviously....spoilers.

I got so invested in the story because most of it is so well done and that makes the ending so much more of a let down. It follows Doug, a Bear Grylls rip off, who gets dropped off into the northern Ontario wilderness with some cameras and has to "fend for himself" for five days for his TV show. But during the first night he hears a loud bang and feels what he thinks is an earthquake and in the morning discovers what looks to be a crash path of something large. Immediately I'm like YASSS UFO!!!!!! Soon after there's a great scene where Doug approaches the lake where the crash path seems to end and there's tones of floating dead fish. A wolf appears on the other side but refuses to eat the fish, leaving Doug completely freaked out that there's something wrong with the water. It's harrowing.

As the days progress the satellite phone stops working, his traps are ransacked leaving Doug starving, and someone keeps fucking with his little chess set he plays with to keep himself occupied. Doug now realizes that whoever is fucking with him has to be a person, some backwoods psycho redneck, as he calls them. I'm sitting there like, oh sweet baby angel no...this is clearly aliens.

Running out of food, scared for his well being, Doug begins to hike to the drop off point where his TV crew should be picking him up soon. But along the way he discovers another camp site and there's this really intense scene where Doug goes to hide when he hears noises in the bushes and you realize he's inside a human trap. Like the traps he makes to capture rabbits...but human size!! I was straight up yelling DOUG GET OUTTA THE TRAP YOU FOOL.

When he reaches the drop off point he sets up his cameras all around him to capture whoever is doing this but when he wakes up he finds his cameras have all been tilted down. He loses it and starts screaming and throwing a tantrum. Then something just smacks him and blows him right into the lake. Scared the crap out of me, honestly. He comes out of the water bleeding out of every damn hole in his face and starts to run to base camp.

This is when things start to fall apart. You see, up until this point, our only glimpse of whatever is stalking Doug has been hidden. You see a few brief glimpses of a tall, human like figure that flash by. It works SO well. But then when they finally reveal what's stalking Doug....an alien...it all falls apart completely.

It's some damn awful CG alien/robot hybrid thing. It's awful...AWFUL. It instantly pulled me from the movie and the story which I was completely invested. And although the story held itself up, the alien/robot hybrid thing just ruined everything. What should've been a heart dropping ending turned into a 'is this over yet?' mess.

I'm super bummed.

Basically...Man Vs. is a slow, satisfying build with a scary feel and a shit ending destroyed purely by effects. Watch at your own risk, but give it a shot..purely for the first 45 minutes.

6/10

The Boy (2016) and another reason not to keep dolls around your home

Guys! I finally watched the other The Boy movie. And although it didn't even come close to last years' The Boy (check out my review here), it was super fun!

I've been hearing nothing but bad news about it which I should have learned by now will ALWAYS happen when a horror movie is well marketed and has big names behind it. Horror fans love to hate the mainstream. I was listening to the new Shock Waves episode and they all praised The Boy for being a good time. So I decided to just watch it at some point and sort my own opinion out. Then this evening I went over to a friends' house and low and behold a few of us ended up watching The Boy.

So...let's talk about it!

THE BOY (2016)

 

You wouldn't hurt me, would you, Brahms?  

Originally this film was going to be titled The Inhabitant or In a Dark Place, which are pretty terrible titles, but would've have helped with my constant references between the two movies of the same name. It came out at the beginning of this year and is now available on DVD and VOD. It was directed by William Brent Bell (who also directed The Devil Inside) and written by Stacey Delay, and filmed nearby in Victoria.

It stars Lauren Cohan (Supernatural, The Walking Dead) as the lead character Greta who has traveled from America to the UK to be a nanny for an older couple's young child. But when she arrives at their beautiful old home she discovers the child is actually a doll named Brahms. Which is a terrible name. Turns out the real Brahms died in a mysterious fire 20 years ago when he was just 8 years old. The old couple, after saying many incriminating and cryptic things, leave on a holiday, leaving Greta alone with Brahms and a long list of rules she must abide by.

Malcom (Rupert Evans), is a grocer who comes by once a week with...you guessed it...groceries. He befriends Greta and the two team together in fear as Brahms seems to come to life, terrorizing the house.

Complaints? 

The 'twist' was glaringly obvious to the average horror viewer. The things that the old couple were saying to Greta at the beginning were basically just them saying "THIS IS THE TWIST AREN'T WE CLEVER?".

For a horror film there was a surprising lack of gore or even murder. It was very dry. They relied purely on jump scares that mostly fell short. It was...for lack of a better word...not very horrific. It's like a ghost movie for babies.

There just seemed to be a lack of substance...it just felt...kind of hollow?

Loved?

The film was beautiful to look at. The scenery was creepy and stunning, the lighting did wonders to change the mood when needed. There was a great scene where the camera is focused on Brahms' face and it's lit up with a warm sunlight, then the camera begins to turn and the sunlight turns to dark shadows underneath Brahms eyes and it really gave me chills.

The house was great! Exactly what you want to see in a horror movie set in an old house. Beautiful decor, lots of creepy stuffed birds, strange wood carvings etc etc. It was filmed at Craigdarroch Castle which I've been begging Mitch to take me to because it's supposedly haunted in real life.

Lauren Cohan did a great job leading the film. She's a power house and a phenomenal actor and stunningly beautiful. Even Rupert Evans a sidekick did a great, believable job. You're rooting for the two of them to survive. The old couple, played by Jim Norton and Diana Hardcastle were really fun to watch! They creeped me out more than the doll tbh.

So to wrap it all up, if you want a fun and quick film to pass the time? Watch this. If you want to watch a real horror movie that's deep and meaningful and terrifying...watch The Boy from last year (2015.)

I'm giving it a 6/10. Probably won't watch again, but would recommend it to non-horror fans looking to be scared.

In other news - I showed Mitch House of 1000 Corpses the other night because we got the bluray. I was super excited to watch all the extras on it but they were shit! Like a 5 minute 'making of'. Garbage. Tonight I have two movies that have been sitting on my desktop for AGES that I am determined to watch; Man Vs. and Holidays. Hopefully review those soon.

Stay spooky!

The Smiling Man - STOP EVERYTHING AND WATCH IT

I'm interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to tell you to watch this horror short....because HOLY SHIT IS IT CREEPY AND PERFECT!!!

Seriously, the quality of shorts coming out lately are just blowing my mind. And if I were a smarter woman I would compile them into this blog for you to watch. But I am not that person. So instead you get to watch this one and then go find some more because WOW.

Debuting on Blumhouse today, The Smiling Man is a terrifying short written and directed by A.J. Briones, a visual effects artist. Recently it won quite a few amazing awards from going around the festival circuit including "Best Short Film" and "Best Director". The director himself describes this short as an "exercise in tension building" and wanted to be able to tell a story "purely with visuals".

He also describes it as "a woman's introduction into the world of men" which is a fascinating look at the world we live in today. There was a reddit thread awhile ago that asked women when was the first time they noticed men looking at them, the vast majority of them said they first experienced it around the age of 9 - 12. That is horrifying! Luckily, I grew up on very protected army bases and lived a wonderful sheltered childhood so I am grateful to never have experienced a leering man myself until I was in my late teens. This short is a great and sad play on our culture.

The director obviously prefers you get to view it with an audience and experience it properly so if you're lucky enough to be in the right area, The Smiling Man will be playing at Crypticon Seattle, International Horror Hotel, and Calgary Horror Con.

Watch the short below:




Yesterday graced us with a new trailer for The Purge which comes out very soon (July 1st) and oh boy I am so excited!! The slogan "Keep America Great" is such a fun play on Trump's terrifying "Make America Great Again" and the proud announcement of everyone in the trailer, "I Purged" is such a great marketing campaign. It seems to me each Purge movie gets better and better, they're finally finding their feet and they're just fucking sprinting with it now.

In the third chapter, over 12 hours of the annual purge, we watch as Leo Barnes (from The Purge Anarchy) tries to protect Senator Charlie Roan. Charlie is running her campaign on the idea of stopping the purge completely, but of course the higher ups don't want this to happen. While protecting Charlie during the evening of the purge, a betrayer in the team forces Charlie and Leo onto the streets as they attempt to survive the night.

The trailer shows us lots of new footage and the costumes in this sequel look just AMAZING! They're really going all out this time I think and it's going to be an absolute thrill ride to watch. Keep America great ya'll and don't forget to purge!

Check out the trailer here

Alright enjoy your weekend everyone! I have no money as usual so I plan to lay on the couch all weekend and watch some horror movies. Hopefully reviews soon!

Stay spooky!

The Rocky Clown Exorcist Show - I'd watch it?

Hello fellow spooks,

Friday the 13th has come and gone. Sadly, the only one we get this year. I spent mine on the couch watching Red Dragon and reading Hannibal (I'm going through a Hannibal phase...again). I also watched Silence of the Lambs and got emotional about how perfect that film is. I re-watched Texas Chainsaw (no massacre) and hated it even more than the first two times. So I should probably stop watching it. I've got some horror movies geared up to watch and blog about, so bare with me. I did just pick up Joe Hill's new book The Fireman so I kind of just want to do nothing but read that right now.

But I'll break the silence with a bit of horror news:

Insidious 4 announced!

Insidious 4 will be hitting theaters October 2017 which feels like a really long time from now? But still exciting. Lin Shaye will be back as our favorite parapsychologist Elaine Rainer. Leigh Whannell will write the film with Jason Blum and James Wan in the producer seats. It will be directed by Adam Robitel who made the great film The Taking of Deborah Logan. Which makes me want to re-watch that and do a post about it because it was pretty phenomenal.

Honestly, I'm thrilled. Unlike Sinister, Insidious has managed to maintain a good story line throughout with some genuine scares. Of course, none of the sequels/prequels come close to the original but they're still a lot of fun and I'm not sick of it yet. So keep them coming!

Check out my review of Insidious 3 here

(also side note - don't google 'insidious fan art'...there's some weird shit down that rabbit hole)

Don't Breathe!

A trailer has dropped for the new film that we've been hearing about for AGES; Don't Breathe. It's released on August 26th and tells the story of three teenagers who break into a home of a blind man who supposedly has a lot of money hidden away. But the blind man turns out to be a bit of a psychopath and they find themselves locked inside the house trying to escape with their lives.

It's produced by Sam Raimi, who of course brought us Evil Dead, and stars Jane Levy, Daniel Zovatto, Stephen Lang, and Dylan Minnette.

Watch the trailer here but heads up they show A LOT of the film in there so if you don't want to be spoiled by another horror movie trailer who can't tell subtly from their own ass, don't watch it. Just wait for the film.

Clown gets a US release!

If you haven't had the chance to watch Clown yet...DO IT.

Clown was first started as a fake trailer that allegedly got Eli Roth's attention in 2010. Jon Watts uploaded the trailer and pretended Eli Roth was producing it. He ended up getting his wish because Roth decided to go ahead and produce it. And in 2012 the movie was filmed with Jon Watts directing.

Two years ago it was released in Europe but was never given a North American release...until now.

Luckily Dimension Films and Anchor Bay Entertainment swooped in and saved the day and now you'll be able to see it in theaters and on demand on June 17th.

I will definitely be going to see it in theaters as the copy I watched was not legal and was a little blurry. But from what I could squint at I LOVED IT. And I mean, ya'll know I'm a Roth fan so take my advice with a grain of salt. But this movie is SO GOOD!!!

The premise is about a father named Andy who puts on a clown suit and makeup to perform for his son's birthday but of course, the suit he rented came from a creepy guy and so when Andy tries to take the suit and makeup off...it doesn't come. He's stuck within the clown suit. His personality also slowly begins to change and Andy must try to break the curse of the suit to be free forever. 

GUY ITS SO GOOD!! There's this one scene that like...ugh...I wanna talk about it so bad but I don't want to spoil it just yet...but let's just say....it blew my mind....
You'll laugh when you see the film. Or you won't...because that's a pretty fucked up scene.

Rocky Horror and The Exorcist!

Fox has released two new trailers today and both of them are important. To me. Mostly, just me.

The first being for their new adaptation of The Exorcist. Watching the trailer, it's not what I expected but I'm still intrigued. I'm super hesitant though. All the horror TV shows I've been excited for lately have been such a flop and I'm worried this might be another...

Watch that here

And The Rocky Horror Picture Show which will be broadcast live on Fox this October!!! I'm INCREDIBLY excited for this. I've watched all the live musicals that TV has been giving us these past few years but this one....THIS ONE. They describe it as a "re-imagining" though which is basically code for "don't be mad at us, we made a lot of changes". It will be directed by Kenny Ortega and has Laverne Cox in the lead role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter...WE ARE NOT WORTHY YA'LL.

Oh, AND Tim Curry will be in it!!!!!!!!!

Watch it here

Alright that's it for this time! Till the next...

Stay spooky~!