Maximum Overdrive - ohhhh boyyyyy

Maximum Overdrive

Maybe tomorrow it will be our world again

I'm delivering a review! Praise be to Oprah, I finally sat down and relaxed enough to watch a horror movie. And since I've been reading more Stephen King than usual, I thought it was time to finally watch King's directorial debut; Maximum Overdrive. And boy was it awful and amazing and a tone of fun to watch.

Let's talk about it!

In 1986 Stephen King wrote and directed this glorious piece of garbage that is based on his short story "Trucks" which was included in his first collection of short stories, Night Shift. It stars a very young Emilio Estevez and the soundtrack was composed by AC/DC, one of King's favorite bands. King was coked out of his damn mind when he directed this movie, but we still love him anyway.

There are many reasons I love this movie, the first being because it's Stephen King, and Stephen King has a great cameo in it right at the beginning, "this machine just called me an asshole." The second being that it has what I love the most about Stephen King, his ability to throw a group of strangers into a bizarre situation and make them lovable. He has such a good grasp on how people act in strange situations and how people come together when times are not so great. And the third thing I love about this movie is that a steam roller kills a kid. It's amazing.

The premise of this hot mess of a movie is that the tail end of a comet passes earth, this causes inanimate objects to come alive and start murdering people. So that carving knife you were using to cut your turkey? Now it's cutting you. Your trusty walkman from which you listen to the greatest hits of the 80's? That thing just exploded your ear drums. Chaos erupts as machines start killing everyone but a few survivors manage to get together at a roadside truck stop in North Carolina. Our lead character Bill Robinson takes control in keeping everyone safe alongside the hitchhiker Brett. Of course, the two quickly fall in love and have sex as big rig trucks circle the truck stop menacingly.

Luckily in the basement for some reason there's a giant stockpile of weapons which the group use to keep themselves safe. The next morning the vehicles use morse code (because why not?) with their horns to demand that the survivors fill up their gas tanks. Because I guess even if you're a machine running on alien energy, you still need gas to keep running? Logic? Another lucky chance for these survivors is an island close by where no vehicles or machines are allowed. No explanation as to why this island exists or what that even means. But the survivors decide to escape, using their grenades and rocket launchers.

As they sail off to safety we are told through the credits that two days later a UFO was destroyed by the Russians and everything was happily ever after.

I mean, good god. This movie was all sorts of ridiculous amazing. I actually had a really fun time watching it. It's just so absurd and dumb that you can't take it seriously, so you just laugh and enjoy the show. The gore is minimal but enough to keep you happy. The characters make no sense and are all sorts of stereotypes but it was the 80's so you gotta give it to them. And the soundtrack is so great!

Oh, and also I have a new favorite quote from this movie. Brett is in the car with this greasy bible salesman who keeps putting his hand on her leg, and Brett goes:

If you don't get your hand off my leg, you're going to be wiping your ass with a hook next time you take a dump.

Amazing.  

I give it a strong 8/10, will watch again, would recommend. It's just a stupid good time.

Stay spooky ya'll! 

In which I am stressed and blab on about Stephen King a lot

Hey guys,
I'm still alive, sorry for the lack of updates. What with the new pup in the house, worrying about having to move soon, constant money struggles, and a busy few weeks at work...I haven't found time to watch any horror films. And believe me I'm devastated about it. But enough woe is me, let's get into some horror news with my absolute promise that soon I will be posting reviews again here!

The Purge: Election Year. We spoke about it last time. We're excited for it. But they've released new marketing and it's absolutely on point.

They released a new trailer that reads like a campaign video and it's priceless! Check it out here and here's the new poster:

I love this! As a Canadian watching on as America goes through their campaigning right now, I think this is a hilarious choice by The Purge and makes me love the franchise that much more.

Things with 10 Cloverfield Lane are just getting completely out of control in the best way possible. Including, a guy digging up a box and finding USB's inside that the studio planted in a damn field in the middle of nowhere. I'll stop updating about it until I see the film because it's too much to explain, but I'm following along closely, and you can too by checking out R/10cloverfieldlane

Rings has been pushed back once again until October of this year. I'm starting to lose faith/stop caring about this film. Just throw that shit on VOD and let us have what we want damnit!

There's talks of Stephen King's The Mist being turned into a tv show on Spike? Which....I don't love? The short story was flawless, the movie was even better...soooooo....let's just leave it? I guess King has given his blessings and Spike has given the pilot order for it. Christian Torpe and Dimension Films are involved. I just...do we really need another TV show about the "end of the world"? Because that's all I can really think of them doing. The Mist follows a group of people, specifically a son and his dad, as they are all trapped within a supermarket as a mist filled with monsters envelops the world around them. In the short story, the mist never ends, in the movie, the mist is clearing up. But either way they go, really all this is is another "post apocalyptic" type show. Booooooring.

Speaking of Stephen King (which I basically always am), I recently re-read Cell because they've made that into a movie but I'm hoping like freakin' crazy that it turns out well. I'd only read the book once before so I barely remembered anything from it when re-reading it. It's an absolutely great book that you can't put down. And it's still, in fact even more so, easy to relate to today. Starring Stacy Keach, Isabelle Fuhrman, John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson, Cell tells the story of a powerful signal that is broadcast across cell phone networks worldwide. All of the users' minds are instantly re-programmed. Clay survives this and heads off to search for his wife and son, picking up a rag tag group of survivors along the way. Stephen King himself wrote the screenplay so I'm so damn excited!!

I've also just started re-reading IT for the tenth or so time and even though the movie keeps getting pushed around and changing hands, I'm still so ready for this two part horror fest. Even if it takes four more years to make.

Alright, that's it for today. Again, I apologize for the lack of reviews, I'm the worst. I will get back to horror movies hopefully this weekend! And hopefully my stress level comes waaaaay down.

Stay spooky ya'll!

Horror news and a casual stroll around an insane aslyum

HORROR NEWS ROUNDUP!!

The Purge: Election is here and it looks insane! I vaguely remember mentions of The Purge's second sequel but was happily surprised yesterday when the trailer dropped and we got a premier date. And a sub title! The Purge: Election.

And it looks to be just as violent and action oriented as the second. Frank Grillo returns in his role only this time it's to protect Senator Charlie Roan who is determined to end the annual purge while running for president. After a betrayal from inside their own team, the two face purge night alone and outside on the streets of Washington D.C.

It comes out July 1st and check out the trailer here
because I can never figure out how to embed videos here (if anyone can help, can you comment please?)

This is your emergency broadcast announcing the commencement of the annual purge

Next up is an exclusive from bloody disgusting....we've got a poster for JEEPERS CREEPERS THREE!!!!!!!!!!! They are filming early this year here in Vancouver so we won't see the movie for awhile, but that doesn't mean we can't start getting excited. This film will have Victor Salva returning, but none of us really care about that pedo. It also has Jonathan Breck returning as the creeper himself which is wonderful.

The third film will show the last day of the Creeper's feeding frenzy while Sergent Tubbs tries to end him for good.

And this....is the poster:

LOVE IT!

Every twenty-third spring for twenty three days it gets to eat.

Last year I read the book Hostage to the Devil which tells the true stories of Exorcists. And now there is a documentary by the same name. It took 5 years to make and is directed by Marty Stalker. The documentary plays out the never ending debate of good versus evil and questions the existence of the Devil, all through the life of Malachi Martin, a controversial Jesuit priest.

Covering multiple countries, the documentary sits down with some great paranormal experts like Lorraine Warren and Ralph Sarchie. It will also have some interesting looking archival footage! The doc will go over, in graphic detail, the exorcisms that were performed, specifically that of a 4 year old girl. This was the last exorcism performed by Malachi before his suspicious death. 


watch here

Also....there's a new 10 Cloverfield Lane trailer and the ending....MONSTER CALL!?!?!?!? I'm losing my mind waiting for this damn movie. Check it all out here

In my own life....Obie is here!!!!

My best friend and her boyfriend drove him down from Calgary. And yesterday the three of us went and explored the grounds of the abandoned insane aslyum here known as Riverview Hospital. It's also used in all kinds of horror films and shows like Supernatural and See No Evil 2. It was also the inspiration and setting for Grave Encounters 1 and 2. It was a tone of fun to walk around, and the grounds are absolutely massive, just filled with so many abandoned buildings. It's completely eerie. I took a few shots:

It was a tone of fun and if you are visiting here I highly recommend wandering around, but be prepared for a long walk.

Stay spooky!

The conspiracy continues....

Let's get into some horror news! In my own life I'm super excited because tonight we're headed over to our friend's place to house sit and puppy sit my god daughter Ginny. Then in just a few more days Oprah will be here along with our new fur child, Obie!!!! Very exciting few days coming up.

But WHO CARES?! Let's talk about the important stuff:

10 CLOVERFIELD LANE....Yeah, I'm still talking about it. And apparently so is the rest of the internet. Remember back when Cloverfield came out and no one had any idea what the movie was or where it came from? And after the first teaser we were even more confused? But then this massive in depth marketing campaign came out and it blew our minds. Well, the same marketing tricks seem to be in place for 10 Cloverfield Lane.

Cloverfield's marketing campaign surrounded a company called Tagruato who spent their money and time drilling in the deep ocean. But it wasn't for oil, it was for a flavor to use in a Japanese drink called Slusho!!! Which, if you watch Cloverfield, is the company Rob is going to work for in Japan before...well...ya know...the statue of liberty's head smashed the street he was on. Tagruato was targeted by TIDO Wave who were protesting the drilling. None of this was actually explained in the movie but lead us to believe this was the backstory and this was how the Cloverfield monster came out of the depths it had fallen into.

Now currently, if you email the Tagruato account you get a response telling you that the account is no longer active....from "Vanessa Gwon, Director of Public Relations, Employee of the Month: 2016 January". NO LONGER ACTIVE? YET THIS BITCH IS EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

But wait, there's more. In the 10 Cloverfield Lane trailer you can spot a soda branded Swamp Pop. If you go to the website for this pop you can buy the product but you can also buy a "Long-Term Shelter Supply" for a tone of money...$4,813.00 to be exact. Except wait....it's sold out. And double wait...4813 is the number that gets punched into the jukebox at the beginning of the trailer that starts playing I Think We're Alone Now.

Someone on the internet named Sarah Rose actually contacted Swamp Pop about getting one of those shelter supplies and got this response:

So people started buying Swamp Pop in six packs and some people on Reddit realized they were also receiving puzzle pieces with the orders. So everyone got together and put together the puzzle which forms the Eiffel Tower....WHAT?!


But wait....in the trailer you can see that there's multiple framed pictures of the Eiffel Tower in the background and on the girls t-shirt:

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?!?!?!

Now the IMDB description says this:
Waking up from a car accident, a young woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) finds herself in the basement of a man (John Goodman) who says he’s saved her life from a chemical attack that has left the outside uninhabitable.
 
WHAT IS HAPPENING?! AND WHY CAN'T I WATCH THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW?!?!

Let's keep putting on our tinfoil hats, watch the trailer a few more times, and eagerly count down the days until we can finally watch this damn film!!!

~~ I think we're alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around ~~

Second up, I'm super excited for the movie Green Room which now has a brand new trailer! Starring Patrick Stewart, Green Room is set to release nationwide April 29th and is already getting amazing reviews.

It looks super intense, claustrophobic, and violent! Patrick Stewart is unrecognizable and creepy as hell. It's about a punk rock band who have finished an unsuccessful tour but take one last booking at a run-down club. But after the show the band witness something incredibly violent and become trapped backstage, facing off against Stewart's character and his henchmen.

Watch the trailer:

And last, but certainly not least...February is WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH!!! HOORAYYY!!! WiHM is all about supporting and showcasing the underrepresented work of women in the horror industry. Throughout the year they update their site and blog alerting you to the great things women are doing in the genre, they also have the Ax Wound Film Festival. But February is when they go all out celebrating the women that bring and support horror in every way.

As a woman in horror myself, I have experienced the judgement that comes from being just that. Men won't take your opinion seriously, especially on the internet. And people in general are shocked to learn I'm a massive horror fan. Why though? I can get rowdy over a messy beheading just like the average Joe.

So take a look at their site here, support them on social media, and give a little shout out to the women in your life who love the horror genre! Cause hey...we all float down here.

Stay spooky!

"A lot of what we use is CGI"

First of all I want to say thank you! I mostly just do this blog for me to obsess over horror movies because I don't have anyone in my life to talk to about them. But as of Monday I have reached over 5000 views and am averaging pretty impressive numbers each day. Which means people are actually reading this little dumb blog. So thank you! Thank you for putting up with my ramblings and I hope my blog inspires you to watch and support horror in every way!

Now, let's talk about a world where Freddy, Michael, and Chucky are real. A world where slashers are real guys, culturally accepted. What becomes of someone who decides they want to be one of the greats? How do they go about preparing to kill, to train, to seek out victims? Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon explores that idea in a very humorous yet amazing way. It was released in 2006 as a "mockumentary black comedy horror film" directed by Scott Glosserman. The documentary is made by a film crew following an aspiring serial killer named Leslie Vernon.

The crew follow Leslie's workout regime, follow as he tracks his current victims, sets traps, and basically just goes about his serial killer life. This film has some damn great cameos including Scott Wilson (The Walking Dead) who plays Leslie's best friend Eugene. He's a retired pro and has an adorable cookie cutter wife named Jamie who is incredibly supportive of his killing. There's also the librarian, played by Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist), and Doc Halloran who is played by the one and only Robert Englund!

Behind the Mask is filled with amazing quotes, showing off how damn charismatic Leslie is, as well as how amusing and amazing this world is. "What's a survivor girl?" "Oh, I'm sorry, it's an industry term." It's also filled with amazing horror references - the car from Evil Dead, Red Rabbit pub from Halloween, three girls playing jump rope from Nightmare on Elm Street, the song from The Shining....just to name a few.

There's also great comedic and absurd moments, one specifically being when Leslie is about to go and attempt his big kill - the documentary crew, Eugene and Jamie gather round Leslie like its' his prom night. They're giving him advice and encouragement and comfort and everyone is so supportive. It's hilarious to think this man is about to go out and kill like six teenagers.

It's all incredibly well done, and there's a bit of a twist ending, although if you're paying attention you can figure it out pretty quick. But it doesn't ruin anything. The movie is SO much fun to watch and a great time for any horror fan.

10/10 - I'm going to aggressively recommend this to everyone

Again, thank you to everyone reading this blog! Seriously, it means the world.

Stay Spooky!

JANUARY HORROR BLOCK IS HERE!

Today my January horror block arrived! Yeyyy!!! Let's open it:

First up is an awesome Gravestone Phone Holder! I definitely kept this on my work desk.

 

This is my new favorite thing!!!!!!!!!! I'm hiding it all over my house to scare the crap out of people. It's a "Baby Eats You Alive" doll head <333333

A Carrie film cell bookmark which will actually just hang on my wall because this is fucking awesome!

A little cleaver keyring to let everyone know I am subtly violent.

January was John Carpenter's birthday so I got this great They Live t-shirt! I will wear it with pride and hope everyone becomes hypnotized. 

A new compendium book from Rue Morgue! This one is all about the history of horror comic books!

And that's it! A great month with some awesome gifts, I'm thrilled with everything and completely obsessed with that doll head ya'll. I want to carry it everywhere with me.

As always, I am not affiliated in any way with horror block (I'm just a huge fan), and you can get your own horror block by going to their website here.

I'm going to go watch the latest X-Files episode and also see who was evicted from the celebrity big brother house!

Stay spooky!

In which I rage watch Cabin Fever

I'm so damn angry about the unnecessary remake of Cabin Fever that I decided to watch the original today which I haven't watched in years. I read an article where the creators of the new Cabin Fever were saying they read the original script and thought it was so good, they didn't want to change a thing....NO SHIT....that's why you don't need to remake it. There's so much good horror out there, so many movies trying to get funding and yet a Cabin Fever with no script changes has been green lit and made?!?!?! WHYYYYYY do you do this to me horror, WHHYYYYYY??

Cabin Fever was first released in 2002 directed by Eli Roth and was a huge success. This was Roth's first film and he co-wrote it as well. In fact, it was such a success that Peter Jackson screened the movie three times during the filming of The Return of the King! He absolutely adored it.

The definition of cabin fever is a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when one person or a group are isolated in a small space. This cabin fever is more like....an isolated group of sexually frustrated adults stuck at a cabin as they all bleed and fall apart from an infectious disease. Or more accurately, a flesh-eating virus. Now because this is an Eli Roth movie there is of course a lot of gore, but not as much as his later films became. Although there are two scenes which cause me to freak out, the first being when Paul is poking the dead, infected body with a stick in the water and proceeds to fall face first into the water into the body. The second is when Marcy is shaving her legs in the bathtub and her skins come off with the razor. SO FUCKING GROSSSSSS. I think of that scene at least once a week when I'm shaving my own legs, no exaggeration. That shit stuck with me.

Cabin Fever is super fun movie to watch. Each character is annoying and the perfect horror movie stereotype. You're pretty content to watch them all slowly die. There's a great sub-cast of local town folk who steal the scenes they're in. The cop is my absolute favorite to watch and brings a great comedic wit to each interaction. The story is a bit of warning about unprotected sex and the idiocy of young adults.

It's a great first film from Roth and it was a change in pace during 2002 when it was released compared to the other horror movies coming out at that time. And it still holds up!

Basically, watch the original, support the original, ignore the shot for shot remake, it's not needed. And yeah, I'm throwing my opinion down.

9/10

PANCAKKKKEEEESSSSS!!!!

Stay Spooky!