YEYYYY it's December ^.^
Which means I am officially accepting Christmas into my life. I've done so by decorating my office, helping decorate the tree at reception, making an ugly Christmas sweater, particpating in a pot luck secret santa, wrapping Christmas gifts AND helping Simone and Sofia (HI SOFIA!) and their family pick out and decorate their tree!

Unfortunately we have no decorations in our home as our home is just an apartment filled with half packed boxes and dog toys. That's right...we found somewhere to live! The big move is next Sunday and obviously my first priority was getting the internet set up which will happen that same day. I'm not willing to go another week like we did when we moved into this place. That was hell. Horrible, lonely, tumblr-less hell. Our new place is much more affordable and has two bedrooms and a backyard for Tony. I'm super excited to move in and even better...decorate for Christmas!

For this blog I decided to share my top 5 Christmas films which will be totally cliche and unoriginal and you'll be like "yeah duh, I watch the same ones, no one cares." But it's my blog, so suck it.

But first I want to share my ugly Christmas sweater which I put together for a grand total of $8 for the pot luck Christmas lunch at my work because I am very proud of it and feel like a creative genius.

I also want to share Tony's Christmas sweater which I did not make, but his Grandma sent it to him and we are very grateful.

SO CUTE.
Tony is so fashionable, bitches can't even handle it.

I'm also going to share, because I'm in a sharing mood, the amazing gifts that I got from Sofia and my adopted Vancouver family who I had the honor of spending my weekend with. When she showed me the wrapping I honestly almost cried, and then didn't even want to unwrap it because lbr that was enough. But inside was an even greater gift which ya'll can look upon and be jealous.
THANK YOU SOFIA YOU ARE THE GREATEST, MOST WONDERFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD!

How freakin' perfect is that?!?!?!
And now what was inside:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so blown away by the kindness of these gifts and they are so perfect. LOOK AT RICK'S BEARD!!

Moving on, because ya'll are probably horrified at this weird display of personal pictures which I never put on here but I hope you can move on from this out of character-ness and move on with your life. That's a word right? Character-ness? The little red line underneath is telling me no.

ONTO THE CHRISTMAS MOVIES!
(I feel like I'm yelling a lot in this blog, but I've had a really really really busy day and now I'm getting this like insane burst of energy for no reason. Or it might be from the Monster I'm drinking.)

White Christmas 1954 

Starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and the most beautiful Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen it tells the story of Bob and Phil, world war 2 vets, who team up as a song and dance act. They meet two sisters who are also performers, Betty and Judy, and the four of them travel to a winter retreat in Vermont where there promises to be tones of snow and a great Christmas show. But when they get there there's no snow and their former commander is the lodge owner. They find out that their commander has sunk all his savings into this lodge and is on the verge of bankruptcy, not helped by the great lack of snow. So the four of them come up with a crazy plan to make the greatest show ever seen and bring in all their old friends to raise the money to keep the lodge running. 

I've probably been watching this move every Christmas since I'm too young to remember and will continue to do so for as long as I can. The musical numbers are amazing, the acting is flawless, and if you don't cry at the end when it snows (50+ year old spoilers!) you are a cold hearted person. Or you live in Alberta and you think, what the fuck is the big deal?

And in fact today here in Vancouver it snowed and it was so beautiful and perfect and all I could think of was this movie because I honestly thought I wouldn't see snow for Christmas.

Jingle all the Way 1996

Starring Turbo Man....I mean Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rita Wilson, this movie is a must watch every Christmas. Especially as the older you get, the more jokes you start to understand. Like eating his wife's cookies. I mean, come on guys. But it's also just a great movie that tells the tale of a work obsessed father struggling to find the perfect gift for his son to make him love him, only to realize all his son really wanted was his father to be there for him. *awwwweeeee*

Basically it's the story of Howard who works all day and all night and is a huge disappointment to his family. His son tells him he wants a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas, the hottest toy on the market. But unfortunately for Howard, it's Christmas Eve and every store is sold out! So he runs around the city getting himself into ridiculous situation after ridiculous situation on a quest to find the toy. He gains an arch nemesis who comes in the package of a sassy mail man and the two compete against each other to nab the last toy in town. In the end Howard somehow ends up in the town's parade dressed up as Turbo Man and somehow his wife and son don't recognize his Austrian accent and he manages to impress his son and make things right.

Love Actually 2003

I'm pretty sure this movie is on everyone's list, and rightly so, as this is an instant classic. I go from laughing to crying to sobbing to laughing to just laying on the floor singing Christmas carols. It also has one of the most romantic scenes in a movie EVER with Andrew Lincoln professing his love to Kiera Knightley. It has the best Hugh Grant dance scene and Martin Freeman naked and awkward asking a girl on a date. 

Basically it's just a film filled with quite a few lovely stories that happen in the weeks leading up to Christmas, that all intertwine and fit flawlessly. Because I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

And if you don't come away from the film singing "if you really love Christmas..." then you've done it wrong. 

Elf 2003

Starring Will Ferrell, a very young Zooey Deschanel, Bob Newhart, and James Caan, it tells the story of Buddy the elf, a human orphan who stows away in Santa's sack of toys and is raised in the North Pole to make toys. As an adult, Santa sends him to New York City to find his real father who has no idea he exists. It has so many adorable moments that people quote every Christmas, and lets us all believe for just a second that maybe Santa really does exist.

 A Christmas Story 1983

 Perhaps one of the best Christmas classics that tells the story of 9 year old Ralphie who just wants one thing for Christmas, an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle with a compass in the stock. We watch Ralphie and his ridiculous family, that is so much like our own, try to get through Christmas without too much of a hitch. It includes such famous scenes as Ralphie asking Santa for his BB rifle and Santa responding, You'll shoot your eye out, kid! The famous leg lamp that we all secretly wish we had in our home, Ralphie beating up the school bully, Ralphie's little brother dressed up in about 5 different layers to go out in the cold (we've all been there kid) and one of Ralphie's school mates getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. 

I'm sure you've all seen this movie about a 1000 times, but watch it at least 1000 more, because it will never get old.

So there you have it kids, that's my top 5 Christmas movies, two of which I've already watched this year!
I am having a very Christmasy night tonight by re-watching season two of American Horror Story (WHY IS THIS SHOW SO FLAWLESS?!?!) and wrapping some more Christmas gifts while Mitch is passed out on the couch and Tony is wandering around aimlessly for some reason.
Live Long and Prosper my beautiful hobbits!
And don't forget to go see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug in theaters this Friday and then see it 5 more times. I know I will :D

 So November is almost over, as in, it’s basically done in like four days. Christmas season has been thrust upon us in full force. Although, I must admit, the building where I work has beautiful Christmas decorations that even gave my little shriveled up Grinch heart a tug. Of course, I live in Vancouver and so do not have the winter wonderland that all my friends are experiencing back in Alberta, which has been pretty great. But a small part of me doesn’t feel right having Christmas without a lot of snow. We’re not even having rain.

Mitch and I are busy trying to find somewhere to live, our lease is up December 31^st which is obviously the best time to move and find a new place.

That was sarcasm.

We chose the worst time of the year.

Who wants to move on New Year’s Eve?!

We do. It’s us. 

We’re also busy watching all three seasons of American Loggers, because seriously, if you’re not watching that show…you’re missing out. Those Maine accents alone make it worth your while. Don’t role your eyes at me!

Hopefully we can find somewhere and stop my anxiety stomach monster from ripping me apart. So cross your fingers and toes for us. And hopefully we can get some bookshelves in the new place so my poor books don’t have to live in the dark recesses of our closets packed up in boxes.

Speaking of books, here’s what I’ve been reading lately; (see what I did there)

(I’d write a normal blog, but I don’t want to. So read some book reviews and shut it. Love you!)

Cinder – Marissa Meyer

First of all, I’ll be honest, if I had paid more attention and realized this was book #1 of a series, I would’ve put it down and ignored it. I’m so sick of reading series lately; I just want one whole story in one book. Stop making me have to dig around to find #2 and then waiting while my library struggles to find a copy (it’s a fire hall branch and has like ten books, it’s the worst).

But I’m glad I read this one. It seemed a little cheesy when I first read the back but it was a recommendation so I said fuck it and dove in. I was hooked within the first few pages and finished the book within three days. It’s absolutely addictive, enchanting, surprising, intense, running out of descriptive words etc. I think I recommended it to just about everyone I know, and I was only half way through the story.

Cinder herself is just this bad ass half droid, half human mechanic who lives on an earth ravaged by a highly infectious disease. It’s the story of Cinderella told in the most original way possible, complete with a very dashing and cool prince who made me blush just reading about him. There’s also the evil step mother and step sister, the second step sister is actually a total sweetheart and super cute. AND! BEST PART! There’s an evil queen who lives on the moon. And she basically hypnotizes people to control them. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S SO GOOD GO READ IT.

Also I know there’s like a bunch more books in the series, some of which haven’t even come out yet, but unless someone actually puts the sequel into my hands without any effort on my part, I probably won’t read it. Even though Cinder leaves you with a bit of a cliffhanger, most of the story wraps up enough that I don’t feel like I’ll die without knowing.

House of Reckoning – John Saul

He’s sort of one of my guilty pleasure authors. I’ve read quite a few of his books and they’re just good to kind of lose yourself into and finish up in a two or three days. They’re all fast paced, spooky, and have some sort of twisty type ending. They don’t leave you thinking twice about your life or questioning everything or really even feeling any emotion when you’re done, but they’re fun to read and I like getting distracted by them.

This one was about a young girl whose mother has passed away and then gets hit by her drunken dad’s truck which he is driving. Best Dad of the year amirite? He goes to jail for killing a guy in a bar fight and running over his daughter obviously. She gets sent to a foster home filled with crazy religious, slightly abusive, slightly drunk parents and their two obnoxious teens. We also follow along with this young boy whose nuts to extreme and hears voices in his head that tell him to do not very nice things and then show him visions of dead bodies. They’re probably just lonely lbr. These two crazy cats end up meeting up in school and become friends and shit goes down and it all revolves around this spooky old mansion owned by the hippie dippie art teacher who drinks weird teas and “dabbles” in the supernatural. And may I say, for someone who “dabbles” in the supernatural, she sure loses her shit when ghosts actually start fucking with her house. So basically it’s all about these three people and this house. Need a quick spooky read? Do it up. Do it up with any John Saul book tbh. He loves spooky houses and ghosts. Don’t we all?

Plain Truth – Jodi Picoult

Another one of my guilty pleasure authors. I only read her books when I’m feeling all lovey dovey about my relationship because she writes the best descriptions of people falling in love. Of course she also writes chapters upon chapters of dry and boring court scenes. But hey, they always sort themselves out in the end. This was not one of her better novels, I have to say. It felt way too long and although it was interesting to read about the Amish culture and how they would hypothetically deal with one of them being charged with murder, it felt like UGH JUST LET HER GO FREE ALREADY. You basically figured out who really murdered the baby like 30 pages in if you were paying attention.

Trapped – Michael Northrop

I actually read this book all day Sunday. Started it in the early afternoon and finished it around midnight. COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. It’s also not that long so don’t think I’m puffing out my chest and stroking my ego or anything. It’s about a town that gets caught off guard by a crazy blizzard on a Monday afternoon. And it focuses around seven children who get trapped inside their school. They battle it out with the elements, each other, and the fear of never being found for seven intense days. I can’t give too much away as it literally just picks up and drags you freaking out behind it after about page 5. Let’s just sayyyy….not all the children may make it out alive.

But there’s no cannibalism.

I was kind of hoping for cannibalism.

The Blood Lie - Shirley Reva Vernick

Another quick read but an important one. It’s set in the 1920’s and focuses around a Jewish family living in a small town in America. When a little girl goes missing one afternoon, a racist redneck points the blame towards the young Jewish son, simply to stop the cops from searching the woods so he can go pick up his illegal shipment of whiskey. An entire town turns their back on the Jewish community, all on the word of one man mind you, when they’re accused of murdering and using the blood of this little girl in one of their religious holidays. The townsfolk who only days before were friendly with these families are now tearing apart their businesses and threatening the Rabbi to find the little girl. And caught in the middle is the young Jewish teen who was blamed for all of this, and the older sister of the missing girl who’s secretly in love with the young “murderer”.

It’s an amazing novel, really heartfelt and saddening. In a way it’s deeply disturbing, especially when the town’s people start to attack the Jewish families in their home. I would highly recommend it, but beware as your heart will be quite heavy and sad once it’s all done.

CURRENTLY READING:

Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry which I’ve been waiting for like two months to read but had to wait for my library to track down a copy and bring it in for me. I’m about a quarter of the way through and deeply in love already. It’s a very magical and enchanting prequel to Peter Pan. THERE’S DOLPHINS THAT CAN TALK TO HUMANS.

UP NEXT:

A Prayer for the Dying – Stewart O’Nan

One Second After – William Forstchen

Red Rain – R.L. Stine

ON THE SHELF FOR LATER:

A Good and Happy Child – Justin Evans

Ready Player One – Ernest Cline

Sophie’s Choice – William Styron

The Witching Hour – Anne Rice

The Mummy, or Ramses the Damned – Anne Rice

Breed – Chase Novak

Magic Terror – Peter Straub

The Haunting of Hill House – Shirley Jackson 

 Alright, I'm off to role around in misery because I just had a really awesome dinner with my friend Nicole and she gave me a bunch of her hand me down clothes and i'm just feeling really grateful but also really full with food and bleeehhhh. 

I'LL BE IN CALGARY IN JANUARYYYY. I can't freakin' wait to get back home and see my mom and sister and bonus dad and bonus dog and eat turkey and give them awesome presents. I also can't wait to see Oprah who I may or may not knock out and put in my suitcase and take home with me so she can live in my walls.

Actually, one more thing; hi Brenna!!! I just wanna give a little shout out to Brenna who is basically my only none work friend here in BC and she has been my saving grace in this town. I love her very much and she is the Dean to my Sam! Or maybe she'd be Sam...she's pretty smart....

To keep my month as spooky as possible, I’ve been reading horror fiction as well as watching horror films. But honestly, nothing is really different from the rest of the year, except I eat a lot more Halloween candy while I’m reading / watching.

This month I’ve read a few so far, some from my own choosing, and some from a list that Oprah emailed me titled “the scariest books ever” or whatever. I don’t know. They’re always titled the same. But for once, the list I encountered actually had books I’ve never read or even heard of. There was like 3 I’d heard of, and one I’d read out of a pretty long list. It was crazy. So obviously I must now conquer the list. Which I am slowly doing over the month.

Anyway, first of all I started off with the king of horror, my personal favorite; Stephen King. Big thanks to my bonus dad for secretly pre-ordering this for me and giving me a very awesome surprise.

 

Doctor Sleep – Stephen King

“The world was the Overlook Hotel, where the party never ended. Where the dead were alive forever.”

Based on Danny Torrance from The Shining as an adult. It deals with the aftermath of the Overlook, Danny’s alcohol addiction, and what the shining really is. He be-friends a little girl, Abra, who also has the shining, but much stronger than he does, and finds out there are these creepy creatures out there who feast off of the shining. It’s a great novel; I devoured it as quickly as possible. It’s also really heavy emotionally. Danny’s worst memory of his drinking is an image that will stick in your mind and haunt you more than the scary stuff in the book. And as far as spooky imagery goes, this one was amazing. I place it right behind Bag of Bones for creepiness factor. I found this book a lot more emotional and heavy than his others lately so it was a nice change. But it does lay on your heart for awhile, so don’t read if you’re already sad, unless you want to make yourself sadder, in which case…enjoy. 

Dark Harvest – Norman Partridge

“You remember how it feels, don’t you? All that desire scorching you straight through. Feeling like you’re penned up in a small-town cage, jailed by cornstalk bars. Knowing, just knowing, that you’ll be stuck in that quiet little town forever if you don’t take a chance.”

This one was on the list that Oprah sent me and is incredibly short as it’s a novella. I knocked it out in two days. It’s set in 1963 and based in a small town where the male teens engage in a yearly ritual on Halloween where they chase down “the October boy” and kill him. The winner will then be greatly rewarded and given an escape from the town. It’s horrifying and once you reach the twist and realize who or what the October boy really is and what could possibly be happening to the winners every year, you feel your heart sink into your stomach. I found it fascinating and for the first time in awhile when reading, have actually despised a character. As in, this guy is the bad guy and I hate him so much and hope he dies.

Your House is on Fire Your Children all Gone – Stefan Kiesbye

“We set fire to home and barn. Helga’s husband— having admitted his guilt by staying home— was struck down with an axe and dragged back into the house, where his remains were buried under falling beams and collapsing walls. The whole village watched and cheered the fire and helped a neighbor when flames from Helga’s barn began licking his own.”

Another short one from the list, this time it took me longer to read because life got in the way. But also the stories in this book are horrifying and it may not be safe to ingest them all in one go. And the cover has secret writing on it, so when you tilt the book it says “If you tell on me you’re dead” so okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut. It’s about 5 kids reuniting as adults in a small German town where they grew up. They’re there because of the death of one of the kids. Each chapter is basically from one kid’s perspective and is a fucked up story involving murder, rape, witches, ghosts, the devil etc. The children are terrifying and I’m pretty sure this village all drinks sociopath juice for breakfast because even the parents have a lot of screws loose. The whole story is surreal and slightly confusing, it doesn’t translate well I don’t think. But it’s enough for you to follow along and cringe in despair at the “fun times” these kids encounter. Also, the ending is suuuuuper confusing. So if just one other person could read this and then get back to me about what the hell that ending was, that’d be greeeeaaaatttt.

You can read an excerpt here if you’re interested: Click Here!

Last month, as we all know, was September; the prequel to Halloween. And so for the last two weeks of September I read these creepy novels:

The Missing Girl – Norma Fox Mazer

“He told you not to cry, but tears keep leaking out of your eyes. And you're glad, because those tears belong to you. They're yours. Your tears. He can't have them. He can't touch them. They're all yours.

A terrifying and interesting quick read about a man who watches five young sisters and plots to kidnap one of them. Each chapter is from a different perspective, some of them are from the man himself and are so creepy and crawly you feel like showering after you’re done. Think the Virgin Suicides but younger mixed with Lolita except murdery. It has a surprisingly sad but also sort of happy ending. The writing itself is a little overwhelming in some chapters as it’s hard to keep track of who’s who, who’s speaking etc.

The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks

“A death is always exciting, always makes you realize how alive you are, how vulnerable but so-far-lucky; but the death of somebody close gives you a good excuse to go a bit crazy for a while and do things that would otherwise be inexcusable. What delight to behave really badly and still get loads of sympathy!”

This was a book pick on a whim. Sometimes when I’m in the library I like to just pick two or three shelves and force myself to choose one or two books at random, read the back, and if they intrigue me, I take them home. Most of the time it works, but this time it REALLY worked. This book is horrifying, as in, I would read it and think wtf why am I reading this, this is so fucked up, then I’d put it down and within minutes my hand would be reaching for it to keep reading. It’s addicting, psychotic, disturbing, uncomfortable, and strangely heartbreaking. And the twist ending is something I didn’t see coming at all. It basically punched me in the face. It follows the story of sixteen year old Frank, a deeply disturbed and confused individual. From animal torture, to a screwed up family situation, to a clearly mentally unstable person, you follow along with Frank’s story and also find yourself feeling sorry for him. You start to think, yeah Frank, that makes total sense, and then you close the book and you think OH GOD NO, WHY DID I THINK THAT?! I don’t want to say too much about the plot as it’s hard to explain without ruining anything. So read it. Or don’t. Whatever. Also there is a harrowing scene that made me almost vomit and cry and instantly email Oprah and explain the whole vivid gory moment to her. I still think about it, it was very traumatic.

Right now I am about half way through my last book for October and am enjoying it greatly;

 

The Demonologist – Andrew Pyper

“Your melancholy. Or depression. Along with nine-tenths of the afflictions I’ve studied, diagnosed, attempted to treat. Call them whatever you like, but they’re just different names for loneliness. That’s what lets the darkness in. That’s what you have to fight.”

This book was another from the list Oprah sent. I actually had an ex boyfriend hand me a book written by Mr. Pyper a few years ago called The Killing Circle which I read on a whim. I fell in love with it as I was not expecting what happened at all. I could barely put it down. And although I don’t feel that strongly about this novel, that may just be because I have a life now and as much as I would like to just sit outside and read all day, I can’t. Boo hoo. This novel is based around David, an English Professor who is going through a divorce and accepts an intriguing opportunity to go to Venice with his daughter. Shit goes down, the daughter dies in a mysterious fashion, and he goes off on an adventure that involves demons and hallucinations and strangers following him. It’s so crystal clear and flows so well, it really feels like I’m watching a horror movie while I read this. It’s confusing enough to be scary but not pretentious and is fast paced enough so that you don’t get lost or bored in the biblical talk. So I’m enjoying it so far, we’ll see how the ending turns out. But I must say, the possession scene (this isn’t spoiling anything don’t worry) in the first few chapters is one of the most well written demon possession scenes I’ve ever read. Hats off to you Mr. Pyper!

Anyway, on my to-read list for the next few weeks/months/whatever depending on when my library gets them in:

A Good and Happy Child – Justin Evans

The Little Stranger – Sarah Walters

The Crow – Norman Partridge

Pines – Blake Crouch

The Last Policeman – Ben Winters

A Prayer for the Dying – Stewart O’Nan

Cinder – Marissa Meyer

Peter & the Starcatchers – Dave Barry

Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand – Dana Kollmann

Any horror fiction suggestions? Leave them in the comments, or don’t, again, I don’t really care. But if someone does read “Your house is on fire…..” you should definitely get a hold of me to talk about the ending. AKA; I’m looking at you Oprah. Get through Harry Potter and start reading this!!!

Current dream list...
aka reasons I'm not allowed a credit card, as I would buy all of these right now.
also see; christmas list please?

PRISON YARD RICK GRIMES POP! Vinyl Figure

Complete with beard. So he can make my season one Rick Grimes jealous.

 

MERLE DIXON POP! Vinyl Figure

Because I need another object of Merle to cry over every day.

 

THE GOVERNOR POP! Vinyl Figure

Because the governor makes a pretty damn cute pop figure lbr.

SERIES 4 ANDREA Action Figure

So she can whip all my other walking dead action figures into shape.

RICK GRIMES POP! Plush

This is so weird and creepy looking. I need it.

DARYL DIXON POP! Plush

Poncho. Enough said.

 

SPOCK POP! Vinyl Figure

This is the cutest one ever. I died when I first saw it.

Then came back to life.

And died again. 

 

CAPTAIN KIRK POP! Vinyl Figure

Because Spock needs his buddy. And I need a captain. 

ORIGINAL SERIES STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR

I mean, honestly, I’m shocked I don’t already own this.

ORIGINAL SERIES GOLD UNIFORM DOG COLLAR

So Tony doesn’t feel left out.

THE HOBBIT LEGO – RIDDLES FOR THE RING

Yesterday I got to go on a spooky train ride through Stanley Park and it was absolutely amazing. It was themed on Classic Horror and had live actors portraying very clever scenes from movies like The Mummy, Dracula, The Wolfman etc.

It was actually quite scary at some parts as well, Dracula's ladies of the night kept popping out of the bushes at you. While waiting for your train you get to walk around a sort of Halloween village with lots of tents filled with hot chocolate, popcorn, face painting and one tent that just played the old classics on a TV. There was also a spooky maze that was meant for 5 year olds but was super fun to run around in. It was an awesome experience and one which I hope to return to next year.

I also found out that Vancouver has a haunted trolley ride which is 2.5 hours long and takes you around Vancouver's famous haunts including the autopsy room of the Vancouver Police Department.  Unfortunately I found out too late and can't afford it. But hopefully next year I will be fully prepared for all the amazing events this city throws for Halloween and attend a lot more.

Anyway,

Time to watch last night's episode of Supernatural and maybe even catch the new episode of AHS Coven before I pass out. I am so exhausted today. Like just giving up on walking and sleeping on someone's front yard exhausted. 

Live long and prosper my lovely hobbits!

Also don't forget to purchase The Hobbit Extended Edition on DVD November 5th or digitally download it today! I hear there's a naked dwarf scene. Seriously. Why are you still reading? GO!