Well friends,
it's time to get the salt and start salting my doorways. You know why? Because we have a crack head problem. I will not indulge the details as they are terrifying but to sum it all up; Surrey is a shit hole and I need all of you to swear to never move here. Unless you already live here, in which case I suggest you purchase a base ball bat and salt your doorways as well. Not that salt will work on crack heads, that is strictly a ghost type deal....but one can hope! And since my paranoia is well into the dangerous red part of the scale, I'll take anything at this point; including demon traps. Seriously...we sleep with a baseball bat in our room.
But in better news; Mitch and I have purchased bicycles. Mine is blue and has a basket. I put a Serta sheep key chain on it, because I'm tough like that. I am so in love with my bike. For the first two nights I had it in our living room with a blanket over it to keep it warm. (Just kidding...just another crack head precaution.) We have gone for many a bike ride together, including the liquor store last night where a lonely man tried to engage in conversation with Mitch about a BC Bud beer. He asked him if he thought it would get him high. The answer is no my friends. Today we ventured to third beach with a bike ride through Stanley Park. I couldn't find a beach blanket so we used an old sheet and a guy next to us gave me two smokes! They are probably laced with acid and I doubt I will smoke them....but it's the thought that counts.
With us both now having bikes we are cutting down on our gas money and I am toning my legs. Which at this point have 0 tone. Seriously...after a day full of biking my legs feel like jello. I am extremely unfit.
Probably because I spend all day sitting on the couch drinking Monster and watching Supernatural.
Lately I feel as though this house is cursed. Everyone who lives here is basically Bad Luck Brian. But it seems my luck is turning around, or maybe it is just a false sense of hope and tomorrow I will be hit by a car. It is nice feeling though, to bike around in the sunshine, listening to Kansas and Motley Crue, and feeling like the world is on your side. That rain cloud over your head has passed and perhaps you may risk jay walking. I shall hold onto the feeling as long as possible.
My new job is going well. Except for the fact that I have to use my coworkers employee number since my number is currently stuck in purgatory. Thanks guys! Way to be on top of things! There's a huge tent sale going on. It has its many benefits when you're in CSR; free pop and water, BBQ's, and I have to wear the same yellow work shirt everyday and therefore no longer have to think about what to wear to work and not look like a dirty hippie. The downside is copious amounts of buyers remorse and returns. Boo.
Quick tip ya'll; when you're gonna buy a couch...think it through first, don't return it, don't be a jerk. It's a fucking couch, not an African baby.
We also hired a bunch of new people and I have given up on remembering everyone's names. I find it hilarious that I could tell you every character from The O.C., but not the new whatshisname who works in the warehouse. It may start with a K...or a T....
In more exciting news; my Father has his own blog. It is a fashion blog. He posts pictures of handsome men in suits and gives advice to older men on how to dress. It's pretty awesome regardless of whether you are a man over 40.
http://slightlyimpoverished.blogspot.ca/
Yeah, that's right...my Dad has a fashion blog. I'll leave you to deal with that. He also has a tumblr.
He is basically cooler than me.
Which is not hard to be.
Goodnight ya'll! I have Supernatural waiting for me on the TV and a dog to play with. (But no Monster, come on, I'm not that predictable!)
